I started to practice Falun Gong before the persecution began in July 1999. I have benefited a lot both physically and mentally.
When Falun Dafa was first persecuted, I felt great hatred toward Jiang Zemin. When the "self immolation" in Tiananmen Square was staged, my hatred increased even more (As cultivators of Falun Dafa, we shouldn't have this sentiment of "hatred"). At the end of 2001, I wrote an article and sent it to the Minghui website. It was published after much modification. Practitioners praised me highly after reading the article and I felt proud of myself. When some editorial articles quoted paragraphs from my article, I felt very satisfied.
But I was not happy with the editor deleting some of the paragraphs from my article because I thought they deleted the best parts. In 2002 I wrote another article after reading the book "Sensational Lies to Cheat the World" and thought my article was really good. But the Minghui website didn't publish it. Being defiant and complaining in my heart, I said to myself: I will no longer write articles. I would rather do other truth-clarifying work!
Soon after, the demon of sickness struck me and I was almost unable to do the exercises or go to work. I was in such status for more than one year. Though I understood that it was persecution and I studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts, I didn't realize the fundamental reason for the sickness symptoms. One night in 2003 my small child pointed to my face and said to me suddenly: "There is a word on your face!" I asked: "What word?" He said: "I don't know how to pronounce the word." I asked him to copy it down for me. It was the Chinese character "Late".
I felt clear now. Our compassionate Master had hinted to me that I was too late in realizing my shortcomings. Then I studied many of Master's lectures regarding sickness karma. I came to understand that the symptoms of sickness karma appeared because I had attachments and the evil exploited it and persecuted me. Then what were my major attachments? I dug out the original copy of the article I had sent to the Minghui website two years ago. I was surprised to find that this article was like one of the criticizing big-character posters people put up during the Cultural Revolution. Though some of the points were correct, the whole article reflected my hatred and lack of compassion. The paragraphs deleted by the Minghui editor were the parts where I expressed my hatred. At the time I couldn't understand why they deleted some of the paragraphs and I felt very complacent when the article was published. Was this a demonstration of my emotions of hatred, competing, complacency and showing off? Didn't I provide evil with an opportunity to take advantage of?
All my attachments resulted from my lack of Fa study. So, in addition to reading Zhuan Falun, I started to study Master's articles published after July 20, 1999 all over again. After reading "Touring North America to Teach the Fa" and many other lectures Master gave afterwards, I was enlightened that Master had explained to us the deeper meaning of saving sentient beings and emphasized how big and hard the historical responsibility of Dafa disciples is. I asked myself: Did you write the article to save sentient beings or to blow off your hatred? When you found the editor deleted parts of your article or didn't publish it, did it show that you were validating yourself and not validating the Fa? You were too emotional and your Xinxing was too poor!
My heart of remorse and the urgency of saving sentient beings led me to pull myself up again. When I clarified the truth to primary and high school teachers, I learned that they were exceptionally poisoned by the CCP's lies and slanders against Falun Dafa. I sent a letter to clarify the truth to teachers to the Minghui website and it was published.
Soon after a practitioner came to my home and gladly showed me an article and it was the letter I had written. She said to me, "This letter is very moving and I have printed many copies." When she said that she couldn't help her tears when she read a certain paragraph, I couldn't help my tears as well. I realized that Master was encouraging me through the words of my fellow practitioner. In the next two years, I struggled to continue forward on my cultivation road. It is Master that always takes care of me and gives hints to me so that I am able to see my attachments and improve my xinxing. My sense of responsibility and my compassion for saving sentient beings had increased a lot compared with two years ago. I realized that I had to use my writing skills more and start all over again to walk well on my path of cultivation and of saving sentient beings
In the past two years, in the process of doing the three things, I have published over sixty articles on the Minghui, Zhengjiang and Dajiyuan websites. Recalling my experiences, I would like to share the following points with you.
1. Master Makes Arrangements for Me and Falun Dafa Gives Me Wisdom
I am a person that has a passion for writing, but I haven't had much experience in writing. For several years on several accidental occasions, I have had the opportunity to know four fellow practitioners. Among them was one who came from another city and was once an editor. Four of us naturally formed a cultivation group. We often came together to exchange our understanding of the Fa and the current Fa-rectification process and together we worked on several projects. On one of the projects, I was the main writer. Every article published was the result of our joint efforts. Some practitioners searched for the raw materials, some did downloading, uploading, printing and photocopying. The editor practitioner helped me editing my articles and also helped me with my understanding of the Fa. Because we understood things from the point of the Fa and clearly knew the process of the Fa-rectification, our articles were more and more in line with the Fa principles and requirements of the Fa-rectification. Most of our articles were published. We clearly know that Master arranged this small group for us to validate the Fa.
Looking back, we realized that every article came into being not from our aspiration or from our in-house writing. It is Master who arranged it and gave us hints. Some of examples are: Local practitioners often told us of miracles created by Dafa, and I myself also witnessed Dafa miracles. All these were material for my articles. Another example: At one stage quite a few practitioners spoke to me about the family problems that they or neighboring practitioners came across. This made me think deeply. When I had a clear understanding from the Fa, I wrote an article on how to face the cultivation environment at home.
Every time I finished an article, I found my understanding of the Fa had improved one level. Though a lot of the articles I wrote were for non-practitioners, I must be very clear that Falun Dafa disciples were clarifying the truth in the article. I had to write the articles in a way that suited people's taste and would catch their interest. Each article should be filled with Dafa principles, yet appeal to non-practitioners' sentiment and reason. It must also be easily readable. It was not just a matter of techniques or writing art. Rather it is about your understanding of Dafa principles, your harmonious expression of the principles and your practical help to readers. So in writing every article I could feel the wisdom I gained from Dafa and after every article I could feel that I had improved a bit compared with before. The articles that are most difficult to write are experience sharing articles. When writing such articles, I have to study the Fa again and again and think again and again. I have to spend much more time and energy on those articles. But my improvement will naturally be greater.
2. Write Good Articles for the Sake of Saving Sentient Beings
Put saving sentient beings as a priority. This is the fundamental factor that determines whether we do well in clarifying the truth. So, almost all of my articles are around the theme of "saving sentient beings."
In June 2006 I learned that an article that slandered Dafa had been published in a small newspaper. I did a search immediately and found that it was an article that covered up the crimes committed by the CCP in Sujiatun Concentration Camp. I realized that it would cheat and poison many people and I must expose it directly. So I wrote the article entitled "Used Up All the Tricks, the More One Intends to Cover Up, the More Is Exposed". It was written with a calm tone and presented with facts and analysis. It achieved a good result.
At the end of 2006, when a practitioner listened to my account and analysis of the "April 25 Appeal" and the "self-immolation", she said, "why don't you write them down into articles?" I didn't quite catch her point and said, "What I talked about is all on the websites." She said: "Those materials are all in bits and pieces. What you have accounted for is systematic and something I never heard." Her reminder made me realize that it was a matter of clarifying the truth well. I had the responsibility to write an article. I checked all the details and the article was published. Several websites reprinted the article.
3. Cultivation While Writing Articles
From my experiences in writing during the past three years, I have concluded that the process of writing articles is a process of saving sentient beings as well as a process of cultivation and improving xinxing. The emotions of fear, complacency, showing off, business, laziness, impatience, competing, hatred, jealousy...... all were exposed and should be cultivated off. Many of the emotions of my human heart were deeply rooted and hidden, but they appeared now and then.
For an example, I had strong emotions of complacency and showing off. At the start I paid particular attention to cultivating them out. Gradually I would not get so excited when I was praised and I would have a calm heart when I came across something good. I thought I had cultivated well in this regard. At a time when I had published over thirty articles, I suddenly had the desire to look at my articles in a free moment. Joy clearly shown on my face. Sometimes such thought came up as "My main consciousness is very good and my sub consciousness is good too". One day when I was reading the section, " The Mentality of Showing Off" from Zhuan Falun, Master's warning and criticizing made me ashamed of myself. What were these thoughts, " My main consciousness is very good and my sub consciousness is good as well"? The aspirations and wisdom I had in writing were given to me by Master. I was really ashamed of myself.
Master's article "My Thanks to Sentient Beings Who Have Sent Greetings" greatly encouraged me. When I listened to the song "Compassion" sung by Dafa practitioners, the words "For the heavens have ordained the red dragon's end, I feel called to ensure your well-being ." often made me cry. I saw Master's immense compassion and also felt the huge responsibility I had and the urgency of the time. I will study the Fa well, cultivate myself well, and at the same time write good articles, have urgency to save sentient beings and put in more efforts in doing the three things well and let Master not worry about us any more.
Heshi