(Clearwisdom.net)
Looking back at my cultivation over the years, I deeply feel Teacher's boundless mercy and what an honor it is to be a Falun Dafa practitioner. These things form the basis of walking firmly on my path.
1. Starting the Practice
I started practicing in May of 2003. At that time I was unhealthy, depressed, and felt that my life was hopeless. Teacher didn't give up on me--he showed me Dafa. Dafa let me understand that the purpose of life is to return to my original true self. However, because I was blocked by thought karma, I didn't learn the Falun Gong exercises.
In the spring of 2004, I was involved in an accident. A car hit me and I was thrown into the air and landed several meters away. Just when I was hit, I remembered Teacher talking about how a cultivator should deal with such things. I thought: "The driver didn't hit me intentionally. I should not make it hard for him." At that instant I felt something was supporting me as I floated in the air. Then I landed, and was not hurt at all! I knew that Teacher had protected me. I knew the time had come and I decided to become a practitioner. I understood that all tribulations could be overcome as long as I put the Fa first and left personal feelings behind.
When I returned home I started to learn the exercises. I could not sit for longer than 2 minutes during the fifth exercise. I remembered "matter and mind are one thing" (Zhuan Falun) and I started to recite the Fa. Then, I recited the first lecture and I did the fifth exercise again and could sit for 20 minutes. The next day I could tolerate crossed-leg sitting for more than half an hour.
2. Spreading the Truth
In the summer of 2004, a practitioner gave me some software that allowed me to circumvent the Internet blockade. I was able to access the Minghui (Chinese equivalent of Clearwisdom) website. I read the lectures Teacher had given in other regions. I felt Teacher's mercy and gradually began to understand the duties of a practitioner. I knew that Teacher wants us to do three things. I made up my mind to clarify the truth to people.
At the school where I work, I told my colleagues about the beauty of Dafa. When there were conflicts among my colleagues, I used the Fa principles to help resolve the problems. I recited Teacher's poems to them and encouraged my fellow teachers to copy the poems in Hong Yin. When teaching classes, I did not punish my students any more; instead, I told them stories about good being rewarded with good, and evil meeting with evil. I tried to let them see kindness and sometimes led them in reciting poems from Hong Yin. After class I tried my best to help the students. My students liked me and liked to be around me. Thus, I had many opportunities to explain the truth to them.
One time, the chain fell off a student's bike and he couldn't put it back on. After I helped him re-attach the chain, he said, "You are really great, why couldn't I do that?" I said, "Because I have one phrase in my heart." He understood and shouted: "Falun Dafa is good!"
At home I told friends and relatives about the positive changes in both my health and my attitude after I started practicing Falun Gong. I told them how Dafa is spreading around the world and about the terrible persecution in China. My family members were scared and didn't want me to continue practicing Falun Gong. But I didn't give up no matter how much they were against it.
After Teacher's article "Turning the Wheel Towards the Human World" was published, I started suggesting to people that they should withdraw from the CCP. I started with my friends and relatives. My family was in turmoil and everyone was against me talking to people about this. I felt very bad. Remembering Teacher's mercy, I told myself: "I must not be upset, I should clarify the truth to them."
The person I had the most difficulty with was my father-in-law. He didn't have a good word to say whenever Falun Gong was mentioned. He praised the CCP whenever the topic arose. My husband (a practitioner) had enough and said to me: "Don't talk about this with him again. I will be responsible if he cannot be saved." For a long time after that, whenever we went to my father-in-law's home, I couldn't talk about quitting the CCP when I saw the look on my husband's face. From this I saw my attachment of sentimentality towards my husband. I tried to eliminate it. After a year, my father-in-law finally quit the CCP.
My brother-in-law was also difficult and refused to quit the CCP. My husband and I tried to talk to him from many angles but nothing seemed to work. One day, while we were eating, I sent righteous thoughts towards him and asked Teacher to help me save my brother-in-law. My brother-in-law had a few drinks and started to talk about how bad the CCP was. I then asked him why he didn't want to quit the CCP. He said he would have quit long ago if anyone else had suggested it. He said he hadn't quit because he didn't want to put me in danger. At last, I understood what had stopped him from quitting. I said I would ask someone to do it for him, and he agreed.
I was also advising my mother to quit the CCP. She answered impatiently: "When your cultivation brings you a child, then I will quit." I didn't know what to say. We are cultivators and we are not so attached to having children. But what about non-cultivators? A couple like us, who had been married for several years, was still childless. Would people believe us when we told them that Dafa is good and improves one's health? I sincerely asked Teacher: "Please help me, I need to save my family members."
That month I became pregnant. Initially, my mother didn't believe that I was pregnant because I didn't have any morning sickness. She thought I was tricking her so she would quit the CCP. A few months later my belly started to grow, and she had to believe that I was going to have a baby. She quit the CCP Youth League. Later, my family members quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations one after another.
I started to advise more people to quit the CCP. When I saw people walking on the road, I would offer them a ride on my motorbike and tell them the facts about Falun Gong. After the last class of the day I intentionally left late so I could give rides to students who didn't have bicycles. One colleague refused to quit after I talked to her several times. I would sometimes ride to work with her on my bicycle and talk with her every day. After a few months she finally quit the CCP. After colleagues quit, I continued to explain about the persecution and convinced them to help their family members to quit the CCP.
When I passed beggars, I shouted to them: "Remember Falun Dafa is good!" I advised friends and colleagues to quit the CCP every chance I could. I also sometimes brought groups of students to my home and told them about the goodness of Dafa.
During truth clarification, I also encountered many difficulties and was ridiculed and insulted many times. When I put my ego down, got rid of my human attachments, and looked at things from the Fa, I could see each person's situation. I then felt relaxed and peaceful.
3. Improving Together
A colleague of mine obtained the Fa in 2005. At that time I was also a fairly new practitioner and didn't know what to do to help an even newer practitioner. I was very happy to see that she was eager to do truth clarification. I gave her some of Teacher's new lectures and some of the informational materials. But she was new and didn't understand much; she even gave away Teacher's lectures, thinking they were truth-clarification materials.
I realized that helping new practitioners was also a part of cultivation. I studied the Fa with her. I noticed she had strong righteous thoughts. From the moment she became a practitioner she was clarifying the truth everywhere--on the road, at work, while shopping, or with friends and relatives. During holidays she would go to crowded places such as the train station or shopping squares and clarify the truth. She helped many people to quit the CCP.
Unfortunately, her family environment was bad. Almost everyone in her family was against her practicing Falun Gong. They tried everything to stop her, but she was very firm. I noticed that she had a strong dependency on getting advice from me. I looked inward and saw that I was used to lecturing other people. When something happened I would tell her what to do. In fact, the only things that could really make her improve were Teacher and the Fa. My "lecturing" was blocking her improvement. Once I saw my problem, we cooperated even better.
Another colleague of mine obtained the Fa in 1998, but she went astray after the persecution began in July 1999. In the summer of 2004 I learned that she was not well so I visited her often. She couldn't talk clearly, but at least she knew I was trying to help her so she didn't reject my visits. After a year of talking with her she finally quit the CCP. Another practitioner tried to help her too but she didn't want to give up another practice she had learned. Another year passed and I was totally disappointed and decided not to talk about cultivation with her anymore. Suddenly, one day she invited me to her home and said she had some of Teacher's original lectures and would like to give them to me. I used this as opportunity and suggested we read the lectures together.
When we started reading, she started crying--I almost began crying too. I knew her understanding side had been awakened. Although I had tried to bring her back I wasn't successful--the Fa awoke her. From this incident, I had a better understanding of Teacher's words: "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master." (Zhuan Falun) Later, she waffled back and forth several times. One day she said she was too scared to continue practicing Falun Gong; yet the next day she brought a list of names of people she had helped to quit the CCP. My mind was no longer affected by what's seen on the surface. I knew teacher was watching and helping her. I only needed to do what I should do and try to help her. Now she is truly cultivating, and she often helps other practitioners.
Starting in October 2004, I started working on some projects of Fa validation with my husband. I was very excited. My desire to show off and succeed surfaced. I argued with my husband a lot and insisted that my opinions were correct. I was vexed. Through studying and reciting the Fa, I have been changing. Teacher said: "So what's their state of mind? It's tolerance, an extremely immense tolerance, being able to accept other beings, and being able to truly think from other beings' perspectives." (Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.) According to the Fa, I saw my flaws. Now, I often can put down my ego, cooperate with my husband, and work on Dafa projects harmoniously with him. I truly feel the changes in my xinxing.
