(Clearwisdom.net)
Greetings Master! Greetings everybody!
My name is Martin and I am a practitioner from Poland. I am honored to be here and very grateful that so many practitioners were able to find time in their busy schedules and come to Poland for this Fa conference and related activities.
My cultivation has gone pretty well during the last few years. It always seems like I don't do enough, and there are a lot of things that I could have been done better, but I guess that's cultivation. Looking back, I think it was really good.
I would like to share an experience with you.
I was sitting at the conference in Geneva this year and a practitioner told me that she felt the conference was "kind of boring." I said to her that we should listen to the speakers, but in my mind I was agreeing with what she said. I thought to myself, "Why do I have these thoughts? I should not be having these thoughts." Conferences are one of the ways for us to cultivate, given to us by Master.
Many of the practitioners around me were sleeping, and I kept thinking, "Why do I feel so uncomfortable." Although I slept for a long time the night before, I felt like I wanted to leave the conference and go where I could sleep. My legs hurt and I also caught myself massaging my hand. I was afraid that other practitioners would see me sleeping, but at the same time I found it almost impossible to stay awake. Then I remembered that lately it was hard for me to read the Fa. I only read for a short while and every time I started to read, everything seemed so normal. I was not enlightening to Fa principles and the magnificence I felt when I just started practicing was diminished.
Then I noticed I was looking outward too often. Instead of looking inward I kept trying to find an easy way around my attachments. I kept waiting for something special to jump out of the teachings that would give me a push and blow my attachments away. At the conference I also listened to the speakers, waiting for some great motivation that would allow me to strive forward. But nothing happened. So I looked inside and realized that in many ways I treated myself like an ordinary person. I was letting my attachments run wild. Once I realized this and was able to get my mind back on track, everything changed. After I had this righteous thought, my legs and body stopped hurting immediately and the drowsiness I was experiencing vanished. I was amazed; because this was the first time I had experienced such a feeling. This was also the first time during the conference I was not sleepy. I was alert through the rest of the conference and the speeches all became interesting.
Lately when I practice the exercises, my entire body hurt, including my arms. After completing the sitting meditation my legs are really sore for the rest of the day. I remembered my experience in Geneva and realized that a similar thing was happening. I wasn't treating myself as a practitioner so the gods and demons were not either. I didn't cultivate my xinxing enough and this reminded me of Master's teaching from Zhuan Falun:
"...Frankly, some people do not value xinxing, and they would be better off doing physical exercises."
I guess I was only doing physical exercises for a while. After becoming aware of this and getting rid of the attachments that were making me think during the exercises, I was able to achieve a calm and pure state. My body was no longer sore; instead it felt very light.
I noticed that most of the bad or good things that happened to me were related to fear and faith.
I usually found fear in my heart when things would go wrong. Fear of not having enough money, not having enough time, not having enough goodness in my heart. Fear of not cultivating hard enough, of not passing a test, or that I will forgot something important and will miss out on something special. In other words, I was in fear about my future and my well being. Of course when I do something wrong I should learn from my wrongdoing, and do better in the future. I was failing to learn from my experiences and I held on to my attachments and didn't let them go.
When everything is going well I find strong faith in my heart and great faith in Master. When I have faith in Master I have faith in everything and there is no problem with anything. When I truly believe and have no fear, my attachments are far away. Like Master said:
"If you are not afraid, the factor that would make you afraid will cease to exist." Essentials for Further Advancement 2
Master also said:
"Everything that the evil has done has actually targeted the attachments and fears that you have not let go of." - "Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)", Essentials for Further Advancement 2
If I have faith in Master, then I have faith in the Fa and in everything that I am doing. Without faith, I cannot see anything and I cannot see all the miracles of Dafa. The miracles are only apparent, when I am in the Fa. Only then will the characteristics of the universe allow me to see them. Only then will the Gods, Buddhas and Daos allow it. And only then will I be moving forward.
I need to remember that the moment I feel bad, is almost always the exact moment that I am being tested and also the moment my thoughts are not right. In that very moment I do not have the desire to cultivate. I want the surrounding environment to calm down, so that I can calm down, and resume my cultivation in peace. Then I remember that cultivation does not have any conditions, and I should not wait for everything to be nice and calm before I do cultivation.
These tests are the exact things we need to cultivate. Without them we would never become magnificent beings.
I believe Master is very happy when we do well. I also believe that Master wants us to achieve the standard for consummation as soon as possible.
I will keep moving forward and be more diligent so that I can fulfill the historical vow I made before history.
This is my understanding. Please correct me if you see something improper.
I am filled with joy when I think about all of us being here together.
Thank you, everyone.
Thank you, Master.
