(Clearwisdom.net) I am a very self-centered person, and I did not realize this for a long time, even after I started practicing Falun Dafa. I continued to validate the “Fa” with human notions and my own opinions. I was zealous when I achieved a small goal. I later realized that I had the attachment of validating myself, although I thought I had eliminated a lot of it. The Minghui/Clearwisdom website published an article I wrote about the process I had gone through. However, when I recently tried to help a practitioner set up an information site, I encountered unprecedented interference. Through the process of studying the Fa, sharing experiences, and sending forth righteous thoughts, Teacher again let me see my own heart and that I placed validating myself ahead of validating the Fa.
A practitioner bought a good quality computer before the New Year and had colleagues from work help set up the computer. The practitioner's colleagues hence often came over to tinker with the computer and see if there was anything they could do to improve it. The practitioner and I thus decided to set up a separate system on the computer to do Dafa work. We encountered a lot of problems when installing software. Initially, I thought there were scratches on the installation discs and had the practitioner borrow another disc from the colleagues, but that disc did not work either. We finally decided not to be concerned about the colleagues' need for the computer. We tried to reformat the computer, but we failed. I realized there was something seriously wrong, and that the old forces were interfering with the information site. What caused this to happen? What was I suppose to learn from this?
It was about 8 p.m., and I told the practitioner that none of this was coincidental. Why was the evil able to interfere? I suggested that we study the Fa first and share our understandings. We studied Chapter Six in “Zhuan Falun.” At the end of the chapter, Teacher said,
“Whether it is your supernormal abilities or your Unlocking of Gong, you achieve them through practicing cultivation in Dafa. If you put Dafa in a secondary place and put your supernatural powers in the primary place, or as an enlightened person you believe that what you understand one way or another is correct, or if you even regard yourself as being great and beyond Dafa, I would say that you have already started to stumble. It would be dangerous and you would become ever worse.”
Teacher's words immediately let me see my deeply-hidden attachment of wanting to validate myself. Although I stopped being overtly zealous when I accomplished something, I still held that I did the work, and I also did this and that. I was putting myself above the Fa. I did not realize this until then. I had held onto the attachment that I thought was long gone.
Teacher said in “Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference,”
“As long as Fa-rectification requires it, you should do it well, and there's no room for negotiation. And don't get conceited because of your roles, and don't think you're different from others. You're each a particle. And in my eyes nobody is better than anyone else, since I scooped all of you up at the same time. (Applause) Some are more capable when it comes to one thing, others with another--you definitely shouldn't let your thoughts run wild based on that. You say that you have such great abilities and so on and so forth, but that was all bestowed upon you by the Fa! Actually, it wouldn't work if you failed to attain that level of abilities. Fa-rectification required your wisdom to reach that point, so you definitely shouldn't think that you're so capable. Some practitioners want me to check out their abilities and skills. But actually, what I think is, all of that was given by me, so there's no need to look.”
At this moment, I had a brand new understanding of Teacher's words based on my own experience.
While I was sharing my experience with the other practitioner, we both tried to look inward. The practitioner frankly told me of his own human notions and how he deviated from the Fa. The practitioner did not try to hide anything, and I really appreciated that. Later, while we were sending forth righteous thoughts, I thought, “I am a particle of Dafa and everything I have is given by Dafa. I came to validate the Fa and will not acknowledge any interference.”
Teacher said, “The Fa-rectification will definitely succeed, and Dafa disciples will definitely succeed." (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Western U.S. Fa Conference”) I must help eliminate all evil that obstructs the Fa and the black minions that interfered with setting up the computer. Later, the process went more smoothly.
Recently, I reflected on what I had been through and read practitioners' articles. More and more, I believed that “The Fa-rectification will definitely succeed.” Previously, I liked to share with other practitioners what I enlightened to by studying the Fa. Sometimes, because I enlightened to what Teacher had said earlier than other practitioners, I would think I was “not bad.” I had totally deviated from the Fa.
During this time, I often thought of the following words in Zhuan Falun, Lecture Nine:
“As to this principle, some may understand it all at once, while others may enlighten to it and understand it gradually. Does it matter how one enlightens? It is better if one can understand it all at once, but it is also fine if one gradually enlightens to it. Aren’t both cases enlightenment? Both are enlightenment, so neither is wrong.”
I realized that it wasn't me who understood the Fa, it was the Fa that made me understand it–Fa-rectification had pushed me to the level I was at. What was there to be zealous about? Why hadn’t I compared myself to the practitioners who progressed more diligently than I did? Of course it’s best to progress based on the Fa, based on Teacher's requests, and based on the needs of Fa-rectification.
When we encounter a problem, besides looking inward to improve ourselves, we should tell other practitioners about what we find within to be responsible to the Fa and to other practitioners. I once read in an article that a practitioner shared his experience with others and corrected a mistake in time and enabled other practitioners to validate the Fa based on the Fa. Though the article did not address this issue with a lot of words, the pure heart of this practitioner penetrated every layer of me, moved and shocked me, and cleaned the impurities in my heart.
The Fa created everything and gave us everything. When we think of what we have done for the Fa, we again put ourselves ahead of it. We need to face this attachment more seriously and put the Fa first.
The above is my personal understanding. Please point out anything that is incorrect.
