(Clearwisdom.net) Master first mentioned practitioners' fundamental attachments in the article titled "Towards Consummation." At that time I searched within myself and found my attachments to consummation and to upgrading of my realm. Later on in my path of Fa-rectification cultivation, after my gradual improvement in understanding Dafa practitioners' great mission of saving sentient beings and after my having let go of the attachments to reaching consummation and upgrading my realm, I thought that I no longer had any fundamental attachments. I also enthusiastically helped other practitioners find their fundamental attachments.
I have a big family, and I led a happy life when I was in China. After I started my cultivation, I felt that I had already taken human sentimentality very lightly. Because of the evil persecution, I was forced to separate myself from my family last year; I stayed outside of China and alone. During this time I often felt lonely, which made me realize that I was still attached to leading an ordinary person's happy life. It is just that this attachment was not as strong as that of others. In the past, because I had already led a happy life, I was unable to see this attachment. But when I missed the happy life that I previously had, this attachment surfaced. When I was very busy, I had no time to think about this issue. However, when I became less busy, such a thought would come to my mind, "Ah, it would be nice if I had just one of my dear ones (husband, children, or parents) with me." However, I could not have that satisfaction. Especially when I saw other practitioners together with their families, I would feel pained in my mind.
My family once sent me several photos of my daughter. My daughter's innocent, small face looked very lovely, but her eyes had a sense of sorrow to them. She did not at all have the carefree look that a young child should have. I felt very pained in my heart. My tears kept coming down. I knelt down in front of Master's photo and said to Master, "Master, I really cannot stand it anymore. Let me cry thoroughly." When I was about to cry out loudly, I suddenly heard someone knocking at the door. I quickly stood up and opened the door. It was a woman practitioner who had come to pick up the newspaper. She did not leave right away. We chatted a while before she left. After she left, I shut the door, thinking, "Should I continue crying?" I suddenly realized my silliness. It was obvious that Master had arranged for the fellow practitioner to come so as to prevent me from becoming trapped in sentimentality.
I knew that sentimentality is a means the evil can use to interfere with me. But its having been able to interfere with me meant that I still had some fundamental attachments that I had not yet relinquished. Master's words in "Towards Consummation" came to mind:
"What's a fundamental attachment, then? Human beings acquire many notions in this world and are, as a consequence, driven by these notions to pursue what they yearn for."
"It isn't wrong for human beings in this world to yearn with these attachments for beautiful dreams and wishes. But a cultivator definitely shouldn't be that way."
Although I was clear about the Fa on this issue, my going through this tribulation of sentimentality was still sloppy. It was not until recently that a xinxing test from a fellow practitioner suddenly made me wake up. My desire for ordinary tender feelings made me unknowingly rely on friendships with fellow practitioners as my sole support. Therefore, that fellow practitioner's hurting my feelings made me feel extremely hurt. However, I also knew that what was hurt were all my human mentalities, as nothing in ordinary society can move an Arhat.
That weekend, a relative in New York insisted that I go with her to a family gathering. Afraid of hurting her feelings, I went with her. After arriving there I found that it was a gathering of followers of Christianity. Those in the gathering showed great warmth towards me and wanted to let me feel their happiness and harmony; they wanted me to become a Christian. I felt very awkward. It was not until then that I came to realize that my attachment to an ordinary person's happy life was still strong and deeply-rooted. Without this attachment, I would not encounter such a tribulation. I thought that I should not indulge myself in this fundamental attachment anymore. I must dig out this deeply-rooted human notion. Otherwise, how could I walk well and righteously in the final path of my cultivation?
Through Fa study, I became increasingly clear that in Dafa cultivation one needs to let go of all human pursuits and desires, completely upgrade and truly change oneself, and rationally assimilate oneself to Dafa. It is not the case that one could achieve one's goal just through dodging reality or by relying on external changes in environmental, the end of Fa-rectification, or the finishing of certain things. I thank Master for his benevolent salvation. Master has enabled me to realize and eliminate one after another of my attachments during my cultivation, so that I am able to genuinely walk my way home with a pure mind.
April 21, 2007
