(Clearwisdom.net) Why do I fail to achieve tranquility when I practice the Falun Gong exercises? Why do I get sidetracked by one thought after another? Why do I often become absent-minded or think about other things when I study the Fa? I try hard to return to the Fa study and achieve tranquility, but the result has been less than ideal. After a few moments, I become absent-minded again.
Teacher said,
"[...] the fundamental reason for one's being unable to achieve tranquility is not an issue of techniques, but that your mind and heart are not clean." ("A Clear and Clean Mind" in Lecture Nine of Zhuan Falun)
After analyzing my disruptive thoughts, I concluded that these are nothing but worldly people's sentiments, needs, wants and attachments. Teacher said,
"The reason that you cannot achieve tranquility is that your mind is not empty and you have not reached that high a level, which can only be achieved step by step. It goes hand in hand with the level of your improvement. When you give up attachments, your level will be upgraded, and your ability to concentrate will also improve." ("A Clear and Clean Mind" in Lecture Nine of Zhuan Falun)
As I studied the Fa more in depth, I realized more and more that I must truly let go of my human heart. First, I must learn to let go. I must let go of all the worldly desires. Of course, I cannot eliminate them all at once, but I must try hard. In daily life, I should pay more attention to my each and every thought, speech and action and evaluate them against the standard of a cultivator.
I have met some people at work. In order to avoid creating karma, I try to extricate myself from their activities, but I realized that my heart still longs to take part in their activities once I looked deeply within. For example, once I was told that a colleague had been given company stock due to a major change in the employee compensation plan. She sold all the stock and the proceeds were over $10 million. She immediately applied for immigration to Canada. After I heard the news, I kept thinking how lucky she was. I even told my husband about it. This incident fully exposed my attachment. Once I start to think like that, the evil will exploit the loophole and fill my head with human thoughts. What does worldly people's gain and loss matter to a cultivator? A cultivator is not supposed to pursue worldly people's self-interest! Why would I be interested in it? This incident has exposed many of my attachments.
Teacher said,
"If you want to truly reach tranquility, there's only one way: Continually improve yourself in Dafa and eliminate your various attachments. As your attachments become fewer, you will notice that your mind becomes purer and cleaner when you do the meditation. At last, when you're approaching Consummation, all of your attachments will be gone and you will find that you're able to settle into tranquility as soon as you sit to meditate. Improvement is made through this type of process." ("Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Europe")
Only when my attachments become less will my mind become purer and cleaner.
Am I a cultivator? A person is not necessarily a cultivator just because he studies the Fa and does the three things. Whether or not I am a cultivator lies in how I respond to everything happening around me and with what mentality I respond to everything. If I can react to everything in my daily life based on the law that transcends worldly people's level, I have become a cultivator. If I respond to everything with worldly people's notions, I have become a worldly person. I shall follow Teacher's guidance, study the Fa seriously, enlighten to the Fa and keep eliminating worldly thoughts. I shall pour out all the bad things, elevate my xinxing, strive to attain tranquility and non-action and assimilate to the characteristics of the universe -- Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance.
This is my limited understanding on the subject. Please feel free to correct anything inappropriate.
