Looking at Marriage from the Perspective of Divine Beings

(Clearwisdom.net) After a collection of articles called "Cultivate the Heart and Eliminate Desires" was published, fellow practitioners have discussed their thoughts at length about marriage, emotion, lust and desire. If we can look at these things from the Fa's perspective, we are sure to be better at having righteous thoughts and righteous actions, and walking our path well.

This article shares some understandings about marriage that I have developed from cultivating in Dafa, as well as from recent discussions among practitioners.

1. Marriage

Marriage is one of the forms that was arranged for human beings by divine beings. Its purpose and significance may include:

1. To carry on the human race and human society.
2. Marriage forms families, and families are the building blocks of human society.
3. Marriage is one of the pleasures that divine beings arranged for human beings, to satisfy the sentiments of human beings and to add flavor to human life.
4. To resolve predestined relations and meet obligations that were incurred in previous lives, and to be rewarded or punished based on previous behavior.

There may be different ways of giving life in different dimensions and levels. In the human world, marriage and the relationship between husband and wife is the way of continuing and propagating the human race. In recent times, more and more people see this as a less and less important reason for the existence of marriage, believing that their perspective is more advanced. This is a warped perspective and a manifestation of deviating from divine beings.

A person can have relations of husband and wife, but sexual relations outside of marriage, including the living together before marriage, are sins because they are not arranged and allowed by divine beings. Modern people have been departing significantly from the arrangements made by divine beings.

Modern people over-emphasize the concept of "love conquers all". To make a joke, divine beings probably don't care too much about the love between two people. That two people can develop love for each other and even get married is because of their predestined relationship and reaping in this lifetime what they did in previous lives, be it good or evil. In the modern view of love being above all, the concept of a predestined relationship is largely ignored. Some people, who are weak-willed or unable to control their emotions, have even killed themselves out of love.

A predestined relationship can vary in depth. One kind of predestined relationship may only end up in two people passing by each other on the street, while another might mean being married to each other several lifetimes in a row. By insisting on doing things at any cost and following one's desires and pursuits, a person might well be endangering others as well as himself. In modern times, many people do bad things or even kill out of emotion and attachments. Going with the natural course and predestined relationships is the way set forth by divine beings.

From my understanding, a person's attitude toward marriage should acknowledge that marriage is a normal state of human life, and it carries with it responsibility for each other and the family, including responsibility for the emotional and financial aspects of the union, and in many other areas as well. When conflict arises, each should look within to find ways to improve and do their best for each other.

For a Falun Gong practitioner who is cultivating in a state that conforms to the state of everyday people as much as possible, the above is a basic requirement since we are taught to be good people as a starting point. But as Falun Gong practitioners, we need to go beyond that. We should not be attached to sentiments and desire, and should in fact let go of it entirely. A practitioner should not be attached to or pursue what an everyday person does.

2. Whether A Practitioner Should Get Married

Recently, a disagreement has taken place among local practitioners about whether a young male practitioner and a young female practitioner should get married. The young male practitioner "A" was introduced to the young female practitioner, and they were preparing to get married. An older practitioner "B" said, "At this time you still want to get married; you are asking for hardship and making your tribulations worse. It is time now to cultivate your heart and sever your desires, but you are strengthening your desires instead." Practitioner "A" retorted, "Does staying single signify cultivating one's heart and severing desires?" Another time, I heard that there were several husband-and-wife practitioners who live like Kasyapa (a disciple of Buddha Shakyamuni), where the husband and wife do not sleep in the same bed.

I saw several questions arising from the two situations I just described:

1. In the current situation, should veteran practitioners should get married (A prominent article on Clearwisdom.net suggested that veteran practitioners should avoid marrying ordinary people or new practitioners).
2. As a person in such a situation, how should one deal with this problem in order to be responsible for oneself and one's own cultivation? As a fellow practitioner being responsible for the Fa and for the environment of the whole, how should one behave when such a situation arises around us?How should a veteran practitioner handle marriage and harmonize all aspects of marriage?

Let's first review Master's answer to a practitioner's question during the Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference:

"Disciple: A while back, the Minghui website added a note to an article, saying that currently disciples should try their best not to marry non-practitioners or new practitioners. A Dafa disciple from Taiwan would like to ask about this for a Dafa disciple from mainland China.

Master: That article was written by a Dafa disciple, and what Dafa disciples have written is open to discussion and the exchange of ideas. It's not that the Fa has asked you to do something, nor that it has to be handled a certain way. Master didn't say that, and the Fa does not require it. However, when Dafa disciples do things, it's prudent for them to put extra thought into it. You are a Dafa disciple, after all, so you have to be responsible to your cultivation, and you have to be responsible to the environment Dafa disciples have. So, I think that if you can manage to consider things on that basis, you will know whether certain things should be done, and, if so, how they should be done. If you put yourself first, it's likely many things will not go well, and problems will arise. If you truly want to be responsible to Dafa and to your own cultivation, you will do things well." ("Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference")

I came to realize that the Fa does not say what to do in a specific situation. The key is the way we think and make decisions. Our words and deeds must be based on being responsible for the Fa, responsible for one's own cultivation and for fellow practitioners' cultivation, and being responsible for the environment of the whole. Master's Fa lecture does not address this so specifically because Master's Fa is the Great Law of the universe. To my understanding, things at this low level can't be put into the Great Law. We as practitioners need to make decisions about what to do in this human world. However, the Fa of the human world is also a representation of the Fa of the universe at the level of the human world. For a Falun Gong practitioner, to understand Dafa correctly and to walk the path correctly is of vital importance. Master did not explain some things explicitly. My understanding is that Master does not do so because everyone's situation is complex and unique, as is everyone's own xinxing level. As cultivators, we need to analyze each specific situation and make choices based on the principles of the Fa.

Back to the three questions I raised above. Young practitioner "A" agreed with the Minghui/Clearwisdom.net article that a veteran practitioner should avoid marrying an everyday person or a new practitioner, so he married another veteran practitioner. The elder practitioner "B" seemed more strict, thinking that in the current situation a veteran practitioner should not get married at all, even to a veteran practitioner. Practitioner "A" asked me for an opinion

The person concerned should ask himself with a responsible mentality what his motivation for getting married is. There might be many motivations, some of which might include:

1. He still has an everyday people's mentality and is still longing for the sentiment between a man and a woman and a domestic life;
2. He is under pressure from society and his parents. There are many young practitioners who are of a marrying age, and many of them are pressured by their parents and relatives. Their family members might even say that the reason they are not married is because they practice Falun Gong, which has caused some negative effects.
3. He wants to be better understood by society in order to help in clarifying the facts to save lives. For instance, after marrying, his friends and colleagues would think that he is also an ordinary and normal person, and that would make it easier for him to clarify the facts to them.

If the first motivation applies, the person concerned should ask himself why, when the Fa-rectification is approaching its final conclusion, he still harbors everyday people's mentalities and when is he going to discard them. The second and third motivations are upright and can be acted upon.

4. Next, one should consider whether marriage would bring advantages or disadvantages to his cultivation and work to clarify the facts, and try to avoid unnecessary issues.

After deciding to get married, one also needs to consider whether the other person is suitable. Being responsible for the other person is also being responsible for himself. Personally, I agree with the Minghui/Clearwisdom article that a veteran practitioner should avoid getting married to an everyday person or a new practitioner. Even when marrying a veteran practitioner, both people need to communicate well with each other about how to harmonize in all aspects and how to cultivate xinxing and sever desires. They also need to consider their work arrangements and financial situation, etc.

As fellow practitioners, when a person faces this question, it is appropriate for us to remind him and help him analyze the situation with a mentality of being responsible for the Fa and for the whole environment. But we should not reach an absolute conclusion and try to make the decision for him, because he must cultivate himself. Besides, one must decide what he wants, and this is also a law of this universe. Only he knows his own xinxing state, and he must walk his own path.

What they do after they get married is their own business. For instance, some couples might live like Kasyapa, but that is not something that needs to be publicized to avoid misunderstandings.

The above is my personal understanding. Please point it out if any of my understandings does not conform to the Fa principles.