(Clearwisdom.net)
I Reincarnated over Many Lifetimes to Seek the True Buddha Fa
I was born in a remote Xinjiang Construction Army Team. I have several sisters, and my family was very poor . My parents worked arduously. For as long as I can remember, I would enter into a marvelous state whenever I went to sleep. I felt like I lived in a shoe. This shoe became bigger. I went into a huge world. My parents were poisoned by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). They didn't believe in any religion. But I truly believed that there are gods and Buddhas in the universe, and that when we have a calamity, Buddha will come to save us. I knew even at a young age that human life is very hard in this world. I knew once people obtain the Buddha Fa, they may escape this abyss of misery.
In the1990s, I was studying at a university. In China at that time, qigong was very popular. Of course, there were numerous forms of qigong. I put all my endeavors on searching for the true Dafa. After graduation, I continued to work on my master's degree. Because of my study, I read some religious books, such as the Diamond Sutra and the Bible. I learned from those books, and my morality improved as well. But I felt Buddhism and Christianity were already in the "Dharma-ending period" so they couldn't save people. I also believed that there should be another practice that was better. I knew that when people obtained the Buddha Fa that they would be able to escape this abyss of misery. But how could I find the true Buddha Fa?
In 1997, I went to Beijing for research. While I was there I had two dreams that I still remember to this day. One is that I had reincarnated many times in this world. I lived very hard lives to find my Teacher. I remembered an authentic object given to me by Teacher. In another dream, I was rowing a boat on a very calm lake. A red-crowned crane flew to me. I held its foot and I rode on its back and flew toward the sun.
I decided to pursue a doctoral degree. My purpose was to find the truth, the Buddha Fa. Maybe it was because of this thought that I was accepted over a dozen other candidates. In June 1998, I met a classmate and she told me that she was practicing Falun Gong. She gave me several books. Those books were so precious to me. The next morning, I went to the practice site. When I practiced sitting in meditation, I sat for 45 minutes in the double lotus position. Afterward, I felt as if I was riding the wind when I walked, I was so relaxed. I read Zhuan Falun for the first time. When I read it the second time, I understood even more. I realized I had finally found the Buddha Fa, and my decision to cultivate has never wavered.
Concentrating on Cultivation, Teacher Is with Me Everywhere
1. Happy Days
In September 1998, I was studying for my doctoral degree in another province away from home. I enjoyed the happiest time in my life there. I found a practice site the second I arrived at the university. At that time, there were quite a lot of practitioners, including about ten students and 30 practitioners from outside the school. In the morning we had group practice and our energy was very strong. The sacred Buddha's light shined upon us, which made us very calm and compassionate. During the night, our students got together and practiced the sitting meditation. We all felt that Teacher was next to us. At lunch time, we studied the Fa together. I was the only female practitioner there, but I felt so familiar with and trusting of the others. They were like my relatives. After studying the Fa, I sometimes saw lots of shining Falun, and I realized that this was Teacher encouraging me.
At the beginning, my challenge was "no second cultivation way." I used to study Buddha scriptures. Those religious books and qigong books interfered with me a lot. To get rid of this interference, I gave up all my books of Buddhism and studied the Fa diligently instead. Whenever I was being interfered with, I would remember Teacher's saying,
"Don't let your mind be disturbed when you see an enlightened person from another school of practice. Stay with only one school of practice. Whether it is a Buddha, a Tao, an immortal, or a demon, they should not move your heart. In conducting oneself this way, success is bound to be in sight." ("Lecture Six" from Zhuan Falun)
I recited repeatedly. I finally got through this tough period.
After I started cultivating Falun Dafa, I actively participated in Dafa activities. When the assistant asked me to spread the Fa somewhere, I would definitely go. We normally were on a busy street and stood beside the road in a very orderly fashion. We followed the music and practiced the exercises. The energy field was so strong. The whole scene was so splendid that many passersby were attracted.
I also actively spread the Fa to my classmates and my family. I hoped they could listen to the Buddha Fa. During my winter break, I went home and introduced Dafa to my younger sisters and my mother. I played Teacher's lectures on tape. I also carried Dafa books to visit my professors and my classmates. If they wanted to learn Dafa, I gave them the books. If they didn't want to learn, I told them about Dafa. When I returned to school, I told my classmates about Dafa, and they gradually started to learn about it.
But just as they started to practice, the old forces began persecuting Dafa. Many of them thus gave up this precious opportunity. Whenever I thought about those people, I was so sad.
2. Right Before the Persecution Started
In March 1999, we listened to Teacher's recording of "Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference" and "Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference." My understanding of Teacher's Fa was very shallow at that time. I felt it was so tough to spread the Fa because of interference from the old forces. But I didn't realize that the persecution would come so soon and be so evil.
In May 1999, the environment changed for the worse. News about practice sites being harassed or closed down continued to be heard. The practice sites outside of school were constantly being harassed. The number of new practitioners was growing at our site. The Dafa meditation energy was so strong there. The sacred Buddha's light shined upon us. There were new practitioners constantly. I was very happy to see those practitioners so reverent. I taught them the movements very earnestly. However, that environment didn't last long. Our practice site was closed down. If there had been no old forces interfering, all sentient beings would be saved, so the whole universe would have been benevolently resolved.
In early July, the Dafa assistance center organized a Fa sharing conference. We played the recording "Teaching the Fa at the Conference in the Midwest-U.S." I was fortunate to be there. I listened to Teacher. What I remember most was a question asked by a practitioner.
"Question: Master, please tell us, when Jesus was about to be crucified, what were all of his disciples doing? Master, please relay this to people around the world and in the heavens: We Dafa disciples will absolutely not allow such a thing to happen.
Teacher: (Warm applause) Thank you! Cultivators should not be affected by human thoughts, as you are cultivators. I thank you all for your heartfelt feelings about Dafa and Master. I know them all." ("Teaching the Fa at the Conference in the Midwest-U.S.")
On July 21, we heard the news that our Falun Dafa Research Association was about to be illegally dissolved. Practitioners started appealing to the provincial government. At night, there were still lots of practitioners there. The next day morning, the sky was clear. The air was so fresh, and the street was already being blocked. We took the back roads to get to the provincial government. At around noon, the officials told us to go home, but we stayed. Later they used public buses to take us away. From the buses, we all saw many Falun in the sky. We all were very encouraged.
The bus stopped at Qilihe Stadium, where we were registered by district. We were then taken to Taoshuping Elementary School. Practitioners arrived continuously. We were put into the classrooms, where we recited Teacher's Jingwen (articles and lectures) while we waited. In the afternoon, those in charge played videos about how Dafa was being "banned" and they slandered Dafa. At night, the officials informed companies and schools to pick up their employees. However, they required us to sign a document before being released.
The department heads from the university were ordered to pick up us, but we refused to sign the document, so they had to go back empty handed. At midnight, the school security section sent people to pick us up. We were separately and illegally interrogated, and they tried to force us to sign our names. I still refused to sign my name but my parents pressured me. I signed against my will after two days. After I left the school security office, I went to my classmates' room to return books. I saw the TV news that was slandering Dafa. I was so upset that I cried. I was in tears and tried to clarify the truth to my classmates.
3. True Thoughts in My Heart
Later, the department heads were under pressure from higher-level officers, and they talked with us and had meetings to publicly denounce the practice. At that time, the whole environment was evil. No matter how bad the situation was, I still believed in Teacher and Dafa and was determined to never give up cultivation. However, I did play with words and wrote a guarantee statement under pressure. When I saw "Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. Fa Conference," I realized my mistake. I had brought shame to Dafa. I had brought shame to my cultivation. I published a solemn declaration on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website nullifying what I had said and done.
In 2000, a practitioner successfully went to Beijing to appeal and came back. We were all encouraged. It also enhanced our confidence in validating Dafa. We used different ways to distribute Dafa materials. At night, as I walked around my school after distributing materials, I felt so huge, and others around me were so tiny.
In June 2001, practitioners were arrested because they wrote truth clarifying messages on walls. I was also arrested when I tried to transfer materials. In the detention center, my parents visited me. At that time, they cried a lot. They took me as their spiritual support, so these circumstances were difficult for them. They used all sorts of ways to threaten me. For me, all I could think was, "True compassion for my family is when I complete my cultivation. They will be saved then. And any compromise will result in ruining their chance for salvation even though it might bring temporary comfort." I kept this thought and didn't give up. My parents were very disappointed and went home. Since I didn't give up cultivation, I was transferred to a detention center. I gradually adjusted my attitude and found my attachment. I always had a bad temper and was not calm, which would easily be taken advantage of by the evil beings. In the detention center, I continued to study the Fa, practice and send forth righteous thoughts. Whenever the guards talked with me, I clarified the truth to them as much as I could, according to their ability to understand. Because of practitioners' efforts to clarify the truth to them, they gradually had a correct understanding of Dafa. They no longer wanted to give practitioners a hard time. Moreover, they secretly helped us. I also clarified the truth to prisoners. Some of them believed in Dafa very much. They liked me to recite Teacher's lectures. In detention, I was given copies of Teacher's latest articles "Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciples" and "The Effect of Righteous Thoughts." They greatly encouraged me, and I memorized them. Judging myself against them, I found my weakness, but I still far from the standard of Dafa.
After three months, I was transferred to a forced labor camp hospital. There were no practitioners and no Fa to study group. I was very disappointed. One of the ladies believed in Buddha. She had a good impression of Dafa. I wrote down Teacher's Hong Yin and gave it to her. She was released soon after. My husband came and was ready to take me home for National Day. Those in charge at the 610 Office at my school threatened me to get me to write the guarantee statement. At that time, my thinking was that I must be a real practitioner during the Fa-rectification and that I should not write any "guarantee." At that time, I didn't have a deep understanding of Teacher's new Jingwen, "Fa-Rectification Period Dafa Disciples." Finally, my husband felt there was no hope to get me out of there. He was prepared to go home by himself. At night, the doctors informed me that I was going to go home. Actually, the doctors in the hospital helped me secretly. They said I had hepatocirrhosis, and the 610 Office worried about being held responsible so they just released me. In fact, if our thoughts are righteous, Teacher will help us. That same night, I went back to school. My classmates were in tears when they saw how skinny I had become.
In May 2002, my husband was pressured by his company. He kicked me out of the house, so I went back to my hometown, Lanzhou. I met old practitioners. I felt so good. I got Teacher's newest lectures and Jingwen, and I read "Touring North America to Teach the Fa." Then I went back to Chongqing to work. My husband still wanted to divorce me. I hadn't eliminated my attachment. Using the excuse that I should not cooperate with the evil, I refused to consent to a divorce. Several days later, I was arrested again when I distributed CDs. I was transferred to several detention centers. I shared with fellow practitioners in the detention centers. I told them about Teacher's new lectures and encouraged them to do better.
Since my registered permanent residence is in Lanzhou, I was transferred to Lanzhou. I sent righteous thoughts on my way. I kept a righteous attitude, and the detention center's officers refused to accept me. I was sent to a forced labor camp. I continued to send righteous thoughts. They then changed their minds. They decided to send me to a forced labor camp hospital. I knew Teacher was helping me.
In the hospital, they only told me to eat well, with no mention of writing repentance statements. I knew I didn't do well in detention before. Now it was time to make up for it. I started to eat regular meals. I clarified the truth to new prisoners, and I found my fundamental attachment, the sentimentality between husband and wife. I constantly sent righteous thought to eliminate it. One day I dreamed that I eliminated a big fish which looked like a monster. I also dreamed a practitioner smiled at me and sent me home. In the morning, I was clarifying the truth to the prisoners. Someone told me to go see my parents, who had come to bail me out. The school officials gave me a "leaving school" document and an "arriving document" in order to find a job in my hometown. Thus, I was back in my hometown.
Eliminating Human Attachments - Waking Up Lost People with Compassion
1. Paying Attention to Sending Righteous Thoughts
Through studying the Fa, my mind has became clearer and calmer. I realized that practitioners are helping Teacher rectify the Fa and save sentient beings. But the old forces hold their selfish attachments and interfere with Teacher's spreading of the Fa. This persecution was forced upon practitioners and it must not be accepted. This persecution is not like normal people persecuting practitioners but rather the old forces use the evil factors to interfere with people who could be saved. Thus, I take sending righteous thoughts very seriously.
I still felt huge pressure on me during that time. It seemed like the evil was right at my back. I felt clearly it was on my back, following me and trying to persecute me. I sent righteous thoughts more often. I sent righteous thoughts hourly for one month. Finally, I eliminated the evil factors hiding behind me.
At first, my nephew disturbed me very much when I sent forth righteous thoughts. I knew this was caused by the evil, so I sent righteous thought to eliminate the evil factors behind my nephew. Gradually, he stopped bothering me. The situation improved. One day as I sat cross-legged, I felt I had become a Falun and that I sent out Faluns. I believe that sending righteous thoughts is the most powerful weapon. It can truly eliminate the evil and stop the persecution. Through sending righteous thoughts, my family stopped interfering with my cultivation completely, and my environment improved. The effect of my clarifying the truth became better.
2. Harmonizing My Work Environment
When I worked in my hometown, I was strict with myself and treated my coworkers and students with compassion. I helped everyone as much as I could, and I earned their trust. I used different ways to clarify the truth wisely. They could understand practitioners and liked to hear the truth about Dafa. At that time, I felt very comfortable clarifying the truth, and I was happy, too.
At work, I paid attention to my behavior. I displayed the demeanor of a Dafa disciple everywhere I went. I helped everyone as much as possible, no matter if they were minority ethnic or Han ethnic. I treated them all equally. Dafa gives me truth and compassion, which allows others to trust me and also helps them to understand the truth. I got along with one female teacher very well. I usually used Dafa and my experience to persuade her to treat people nicely and consider others so that she would not hurt others. She was very happy to accept my words. Some coworkers understood the truth about Dafa. They voluntarily told me other practitioners' stories. They considered practitioners to be very nice people with high standards and ethics.
One weekend, I visited my department head. We had a long talk. I spoke about the "cultural revolution" and the persecution by the CCP against all religions. I also talked about how wonderful Dafa is and the CCP's persecution of Dafa. She sympathized with Dafa practitioners and told me that some of her relatives suffered torture during the cultural revolution. She also said there were minority ethnic teachers who cultivated in Dafa before 1999. She encouraged them to continue with cultivation. When I gave lectures to my students, I clarified the truth to them. They were all open to hearing the truth about Dafa. I also clarified the truth to graduate students' instructors. They immediately realized the truth about the persecution.
3. Strengthening My Righteous Self, Harmonizing My Family
In September 2003, I was transferred to one of the southern cities for work. When I arrived in the south, I realized that I still had some impure factors, like some unrighteous thoughts or attachments. I saw that many people were attached to material gains, which made them hesitate listening to the truth. I had a hard time clarifying the truth to them, and my previous knowledge of my program didn't help me. My department director knew that I was a Falun Gong practitioner so he purposely suppressed me. My husband remarried me, but he was still against Dafa. He often treated me violently, which made me very upset. My uneasy feelings were exposed. Sometimes I couldn't help crying when I read Teacher's Fa. I felt humiliated, and I wanted to call out to Teacher. Sometimes when I woke up in the middle of the night and heard the train in the distance, I really wanted to go away.
But I knew I was a Dafa practitioner. I needed to be calm and wise, and not go to extremes. I should consider the influence of Dafa in any situation and know that Dafa is my priority. I should not be emotional. This situation lasted about a year, which interfered with my clarifying the truth and saving people. The evil interference was very strong. For a time, my husband quarreled with me and wanted to get a divorce. When I played the the Plum Blossom Poem DVD, some students opposed it. Luckily, some students spoke out for me. At night, some students talked with me specifically to persuade me not to speak out on behalf of Dafa publicly.
After this lesson, I started to self-reflect. I tried to find my fundamental attachment. I began to pay attention to my righteous thoughts. I found out that I didn't study the Fa very diligently and that I judged others with a lack of compassion. I was attached to a selfish need to feel free and I ignored saving people. I lacked compassion, and I did not think of others first.
I realized my task was to save my husband and family and other predestined people. When I first came to the south I believed that I would do very well even though it would be tough. I also believed that I should fulfill my vows. I studied the Fa diligently and paid attention to my every behavior, word, and thought. I eliminated uneasy thoughts. I tried not to be selfish and I did not complain. I considered things from the point of view of the big picture. I did not want to leave a negative impression of Dafa and risk bringing any losses to Dafa, as people should not misunderstand Dafa or be against Dafa. I was sure I could create a cultivation environment. The attachment of fear and sentimentality vanished. My cultivation heart was very firm. My husband immediately stopped interfering with my cultivation. He also didn't ask me where I got the book. He didn't care if I studied the Fa, practiced or sent righteous thoughts. I constantly sent righteous thoughts and eliminated the evil factors behind my husband, eliminating the obstacles that kept him from cultivating. I continued on sending righteous thoughts and clarified the truth to him. He finally changed his attitude to Dafa and started to practice with me. He said silently, "Falun Dafa is good," and "Truthfulness, Compassion, Tolerance is good."
4. Saving Students
My current job has nothing to do with my previous field of study. However, Dafa gives me wisdom, which enabled me to learn those courses thoroughly. The result of my teaching was pretty good, too. When I taught students in class, I also added my understanding of the Fa to my lectures. I downloaded related articles from the Minghui website and shared them with my students. I made sufficient preparation and created multimedia shows.
When I taught ancient history, I taught students about the "Tui Bei Tu," and ancient Chinese prophecy. Their first reaction was that it was bunk. Later they weren't so sure. Gradually, they believed it to be true. They started thinking about the traditional historical point of view, astronomical phenomena, and the assimilation of humans and the heavens as understood in traditional culture. I often told them stories about such things as plants having feelings, animals saving people during tsunamis, the eight immortals, Westerners and researchers' attitudes toward metempsychosis, and funny stories regarding how awful the CCP is. Their attitudes changed, and they no longer blindly believed in atheism. They started calmly thinking about religion and believing.
It was a large class because it was a combined of students from four classes. The students' minds were very complicated. I still cannot speak openly about the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party or withdrawing from the CCP in the class. But I believe they will understand the truth eventually.
In colleges around China, interest in traditional culture has been recognized. Many college are now offering a public course in Humanities and Social Science. It is about Chinese traditional culture. I am responsible for part of this course that is about the culture of Buddhism and Taoism, imperial examination policies, etc. I can utilize my strongest skill. I have used this chance to clarify the truth and I have earnestly taught this course well. First, I downloaded relevant course material because I believe that the Dafa website has Dafa power. Thus, I used content from Dafa websites. Secondly, I constantly purified myself and kept righteous thoughts. I normally practiced the sitting meditation at noon and gave lectures to students in the afternoon. I felt my mind was very pure so my words were very powerful and students liked to listen to me.
When I taught, I would inspire the students to think. They were very interested in cultivation. I told them the truth about Dafa. After my lesson, they clapped very warmly. I was very happy that they understood the truth.
When I went through their papers, I discovered that many of the students had changed their attitudes toward Dafa. Even though they couldn't express their points very directly, I still could see the rise of their spirits. Their attitudes changed from misunderstanding Dafa to supporting Dafa, from being against their relatives to supporting their relatives. I was really gratified about that.
5. Eliminating the CCP Factors
In late 2004, The Epoch Times published the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. I felt that it was great after I read it. I printed it out to give to other teachers to read. They had the same feeling as I did after reading it. The CCP poisoned people and they held a so-called "Maintaining the advanced Nature of Party Members" campaign. I resisted and eliminated those evil factors. I am not a CCP member, but non-CCP members were also required to write a report on their "understanding." I refused to write it. One of our instructors had just started to cultivate at that time. I gave him the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. He totally agreed with them. When he was at a meeting, he said openly and directly, "I don't have any understanding, I don't have any of the CCP's mindsets, and I didn't read books on Marxism, Leninism, or Maoism much. But I believe this movement is a total lie." I really admired his courage and honesty.
Normally I communicate with my co-workers as much as possible so that we can create a good relationship with each other. In time I have gradually clarified the truth to them. I gave them the truth clarification cards and told them the goodness of Dafa. They were all very happy to accept them. I also gave them copies of the Nine Commentaries. Some wanted to use the software to go to websites safely so that they could download the Nine Commentaries, Tears of a Nation - Beijing's Story, and other articles. They shared with me the CCP's scandalous behavior. In addition, when I visited my hometown, I brought copies of the Nine Commentaries to my old classmates to help them realize the truth about the CCP, and I persuaded them to withdraw from the CCP.
There are several practitioners in my school. Some young practitioners didn't cultivate diligently, but I helped them. I contacted practitioners one by one and gave them Teacher's new Jingwen and shared with them. I helped them to realize the precious chance to cultivate and the importance of clarifying the truth, and taught them to go to the website, making it more convenient for them. I encouraged them to do well with the three things.
Now the time is so urgent. Dafa disciples have already come a long way. We all should cherish this chance for cultivation and use this limited time to save people. It is the opportunity of an eternity that Dafa practitioners can cultivate at this time. Furthermore, we can save people and clarify the truth during cultivation. It is truly an opportunity that is hard to come by since the beginning of time. We should cherish this opportunity. Actually, all the Gods admire us. The old forces' behavior is just like an illusion. We should not be so deluded that we lose this opportunity.
