(Clearwisdom.net) I began to practice Falun Gong in 1995. I'm so fortunate to have followed Teacher Li and be able to cultivate in the Fa-rectification period. With Teacher's boundless compassion and with the help of fellow practitioners, I have grown in maturity and resolve despite all the hardships and dangers I have experienced. Today I'd like to share with fellow practitioners some of my experiences of putting aside self and cooperating with the whole.
In the past two years, I established a truth-clarifying material production site at home and always did the three things by myself. I insisted on doing it this way with the thought that it was safer for me to distribute flyers alone, and I would not be affected even if other practitioners were arrested or otherwise persecuted. I was held back by not being part of the whole; there was a huge gap between me and the whole. I continued studying the Fa and discovered my fear of being hurt and my concern for self-protection. Teacher said,
"Fear is a death trap on a human being's journey toward divinity." ("Pass the Deadly Test")
I was determined to get rid of my fear. I had a strong will to assimilate myself into the whole, do the three things better, and save more sentient beings. Once my righteous thought surfaced, Teacher arranged for me to work with others to make truth-clarifying materials.
When I first started to cooperate with fellow practitioners, my strong sense of self was intensely affected. I thought my own understanding of the Fa was more correct and I thought fellow practitioners were still trying to validate themselves. The conflict became more and more intense because I didn't pay attention to my own cultivation; instead, I always saw others' mistakes. Eventually I realized this type of thinking was taking me nowhere and I had to look within myself. If I wasn't validating myself, how would these deficiencies be exposed to me? Teacher told us to look inside ourselves, even when we are the third party watching a conflict. I wasn't the third party, but one of the two clashing sides. Why couldn't I look inward? What was blocking me from looking inward? I was not getting at the root of the problem. Following this thinking, I dug deeply inside and discovered my selfish sense of self-protection, which is the most corrupt stuff in the old universe. Teacher asked us to be thoroughly selfless, so, I had to put aside my ego and cooperate with fellow practitioners to validate the Fa and save sentient beings.
I realized I had to get rid of selfishness through cultivation practice. On one occasion, materials that others were supposed to have prepared, for various reasons, fell on my shoulders. I thought it was just so unfair, and I couldn't get over it. I had just made passels of materials and then I had to make more because others didn't. The notion of "egalitarianism" from the evil CCP culture came out with jealousy. What should I do next? I recalled the Fa. Teacher said,
"Don't worry about what's going to transpire in the future, it's enough if you know inside what you should do, carrying the Fa in your mind, doing whatever needs to be done, and doing whatever you wish to do, as long as Dafa needs it." ("Teaching the Fa at the Fa Conference at the U.S. Capital")
I gradually calmed down. I thought to myself, "Teacher, I can do anything possible to save sentient beings, regardless of my accountabilities or the responsibilities of others. We should work as one body." Then why had I felt so uncomfortable in the beginning? Was this really me? Teacher told us to look inward. I remembered the words of Teacher and identified my mindset. Through Fa-study, I found my selfish thinking: I only wanted to obtain something from Dafa, but I did not wish to give anything for Dafa. My selfish thoughts had manifest in the notion that I was only willing to do what I was supposed to do, but I felt unhappy about doing "what I was not supposed to." Only after I let go of selfish thinking could I make myself compatible with the whole. I came to realize that only by working with fellow practitioners could I expose my shortcomings, put aside ego, and improve myself the fastest.
The Fa-rectification process is now nearing completion. Teacher is waiting for our good news. We must use powerful righteous thoughts to save sentient beings. We must get rid of our attachments to self, cooperate with the whole, do what Teacher expects us to do, and save more sentient beings.
