(Clearwisdom.net)
(Continued from Part 1: http://www.clearwisdom.net/emh/articles/2008/10/11/101413.html)
I kept sending forth righteous thoughts to strengthen my son's righteous thoughts and to eliminate all interference from outside factors and computer games. I said to him, "Please do not think about committing suicide. Master has said that committing suicide is sinful. Such thoughts might not have been your own. Those computer games do not possess anything good. To be honest with you, I do not want you to play any of those games anymore. People who are addicted to those games become indifferent, do not cherish life, and do not do well at school. When you win at those games, you are happy. When you lose, you feel uncomfortable. Aren't these attachments? The entire universe is being rectified by the Fa. Numerous Buddhas, Taos, and Gods are being repositioned. When the Fa rectifies the human world, there will not even be any paper left. What are we attached to these things for? If you stop studying the Fa, what are the sentient beings in your universe going to do?
"First of all, please accept my apology. I should not have yelled at you. In fact, your behavior has been excellent. Our relatives all say that among all the cousins, you are the most understanding and reasonable. Your father and I are very proud of you. You always have many friends and people like to be around you. Do you know why? It is because you obtained Dafa. They can feel your compassion and forbearance. All parents want their children to become the best they can be. Master said all lives came for the Fa. I naturally hope you will study the Fa more and practice the exercises well so you can return to your true home. You go to school every day and do not come home until the evening. The school and society often exert a bad influence. I was hoping you could be cleansed by the Fa. On your vacation, I thought you should take full advantage of the time to study the Fa more and do the exercises correctly. But you did not understand and I felt sad. You might hate me now, but I do not want you to hate me forever. You might not understand now how important it is to cherish the opportunity to cultivate. If you only realize it in the future, it will be too late for regrets."
My son looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "I'm not saying I do not want to study the Fa. I just thought I would study when I wanted to and practice the exercises when I wanted to."
Master says:
"When two people have a conflict and a third person sees it, even that third person should think about whether there are any problems on his part - 'Why did I happen to see it?' This is all the more so for the two people involved in the conflict. They should examine themselves even more, since they need to cultivate themselves internally." ("Teaching the Fa at the Eastern U.S. Fa Conference")
However, I did not look for problems on my part. I only used Master's teaching to examine others and find excuses for myself. The result, of course, was not good. On the third morning at 6:00 a.m., after I sent forth righteous thoughts, I recalled what had happened the day before and could not calm down. After cultivating for 12 years, I still do not act like a true practitioner! When facing a small conflict, I still cannot keep my mind calm. How can I show the wonderfulness of Dafa to others? The closer I come to the end of cultivation, the better I should be. How come I still do not act like a practitioner? My son is here to assimilate with the Fa. He is Master's young disciple. If he stops practicing, it would be completely my fault. What kind of karma would that be? Master says, "That higher being won't let whoever disrupted it off the hook." (The Seventh Talk, Zhuan Falun) The Fa is both compassionate and solemn. I must look inward.
I continued to examine myself and found many attachments:
1. The Attachment to Sentimentality: I regarded him as my son only and never as my fellow practitioner. Yes, he is my son. I made the arrangement for his benefits. He must listen. He cannot disobey. I totally overlooked that he is also a person, a child. He has his own thoughts, his own friends, and his own interests. I shouted at him and forgot about Master's teaching: "our tone of voice, your kindheartedness, and your reasoning can change a person's heart." ("Clear-headedness" in Essentials for Further Advancement) Wasn't that a reflection of demonic nature? Master says, "If a cultivator does not get rid of his demon-nature through cultivation, his gong will be badly disordered and he will attain nothing or follow a demonic path." ("Buddha-Nature and Demon-Nature" in Essentials for Further Advancement)
2. Vanity, Competition Mentality: I always like to hear compliments and do not take criticism well.
3. The Attachment of Self-validation: I use Master's Fa to argue my side and find excuses for myself and try hard to prove that I am right.
4. Threatening People: "If you do not listen, such and such will happen."
5. Lack of Benevolence: I lack the patience to be persuasive.
6. The Attachment of Jealousy: This is a very serious issue for me. I always think I am the best, so if I am stronger than you, you have to listen to me.
7. The Attachment to Comfort: I know my son has obtained the Fa and Master is taking care of him. I do not have to worry anymore.
8. Selfishness: It is always "me" first. I never consider others' feelings. I just want to vent my own feelings.
9. In fact, just like the negative field of sickness, the state of my son reflected my own cultivation state. If my field is very pure and righteous, an incident like this would never have happened.
10. Being Arrogant: I felt that, since I was the mother and the teacher, I should be respected. When I made mistakes, I did not want to admit it. Master is the Lord of Lords and Master is never arrogant. I should be more diligent as we approach the end of the Fa-rectification. I realized that the superficial human shell needs to be assimilated with the Fa as well. We should rectify every single thing we do and every single thought we have because anything that is not recognized by the Fa will be eliminated in the future.
When I realized this, I clearly saw my areas for improvement. I made up my mind to eliminate my attachments and catch up. I picked up Zhuan Falun and started reading the Fa. When I was visiting the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom website), my son got up and said, "Mom, I'm going to study the Fa." After he was done, he said, "I'm going to practice the exercises." Then he sat down and read several stories and the "Minghui Weekly" that I had downloaded to the U-Drive. In the afternoon, he went to play with his friends. At night, he read materials on clarifying the truth on the U-Drive. Before he went to bed, he recited Master's poem, "Rectifying the Colossal Firmament."
Today after school, the first thing my son said after dinner was, "I'm going to read the Electronic Book (study the Fa)." It is so miraculous. When I looked inward to examine myself, I did not even say a single word and yet things have changed miraculously.
Because I type very slowly, my son helped me finish typing the second half of this article. I then modified it and submitted it to the website. This is harmonizing together and cooperating! Additionally, the day after I finished this article, the Human Resources Department at my company informed me that they would like me to be back at work as soon as possible and that the work schedule can be flexible. This is truly a manifestation of "cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of Gong is done by one's Master." My son did not do anything wrong. It was my own mistake. Master saw that I had attachments and had my son help me improve! Thank you, Master!
I hope that all practitioners visit the Minghui/Clearwisdom website often. This is an experience sharing platform that Master has acknowledged. We can improve together rapidly! As long as we install the proper firewall and virus protection software and install the anti-web-blocking software on the U-Drive or MP3 player, we should be all set. It is safe and convenient.
(The End)
