(Clearwisdom.net)
There is a song called "Appreciate Teacher's Compassion." It says, "When I think about those days and nights when you spread the Fa, my tears fall and wet my shirt." Every time I hear this song, I can't hold back my tears. We've been in this tremendous tribulation for nine years. Each time I was suffering, the dark clouds in my heart would be dispersed by Teachers' compassion whenever I thought about our great benevolent Teacher. I truly felt that all the sentient beings that have obtained the Fa are so fortunate. As one of the Falun Dafa disciples, I feel so proud since we were saved by Teacher himself! Falun Dafa will shine in the firmament forever!
Here, I'd like to share my recollections of when I attended Teacher's Fa-lectures. This is to validate how magnificent Falun Dafa and Teacher are!
In July 1993, I attended the Sixth Falun Gong Class that Teacher held in Changchun. The class was at Mingfang Hall in the Jilin University.
I can still vividly remember the first lesson. I was sitting in probably row 12. It was an aisle seat. I was able to see Teacher very clearly. He appeared to be in his 20s, very young and tall. He was wearing a plain white dress shirt. Teacher's voice was so pure and far-reaching. In fact, I can't find any appropriate words to describe Teacher's voice. I don't think anyone else's voice is comparable to Teacher's. Now I realize that I have felt that way since Teacher stamped the Fa deeply in my heart when he gave his Fa-lectures.
I remember very clearly one sentence. Teacher said, "...always consider other people when you do things..."(Lecture Four from"Zhuan Falun") I was taken aback when I heard it, and I couldn't understand what it meant. It was probably because I was a selfish person that I found it hard to understand.
The person who sat next to me asked me to put my hands on my thighs, with the palms facing up, to "accept messages." I tried it but didn't like it. I didn't know why, but I just wanted to keep my hands in the Heshi position and my heart was very pious and solemn. I held the Heshi position throughout the first lesson. I was very focused. What Teacher told us was all so new to me. I'd never heard about anything like it before.
The second day when Teacher talked about the celestial eye, I felt my forehead become tight, with the flesh gathering and drilling inward.
My workplace was very close to Mingfang Hall, so I was able to get to the class around 5 p.m. every day. One day, I was lucky enough to bump into Teacher. I was about 20 meters aways from him and just stared. I was pretty much still an ordinary person at that time, so I was quite confused. Being so young, how could Teacher know so many things and explain to us about things in such a great structure? I had never met a teacher that could be comparable to Teacher. I admired Teacher so much that even today, I can't find the best word to describe Teacher's character and expression.
Nowadays many fellow practitioners admire those of us that got to meet Teacher in person. Actually, it was quite easy to meet him back then. Teacher came to the class early. The class started at 6 p.m., and Teacher would arrive by 5 p.m. at the latest. Sometimes he would chat with practitioners. Most of the time, he'd have meetings with several practitioners at a time. Teacher was very easygoing, so many people met with him. When we learned the fifth exercise, Teacher asked a practitioner to demonstrate the movements on the stage while he took the trouble to personally correct our movements. I couldn't quite accomplish a particular movement as Teacher was passing by, so he helped me with it. I'll never forget that.
Before I practiced Falun Dafa, I suffered from many kinds of illnesses since I was polluted by ordinary people's society and I was so attached to fame, physical interests, and sentimentality. I took handfuls of pills every day, and I'd take Chinese herb medicines a couple of weeks every time I was sick. The worst illness that I had was chronic glomerulonephritis, a renal disease. It was a kind of immune system disease and therefore hard to cure. Eventually, my kidneys failed to function and I had to take sick leave a month at a time. Doctors ordered absolute bed rest. I couldn't do anything. My back hurt so much, and my health would get even worse if I did anything. I felt that I was sentenced to death when I saw other people doing this or that. I was so sad. Later it turned into to metabolic acidosis. I'd throw up several times every day. I had to take large amounts of baking soda. Metabolic acidosis means I was developing uremia and I was near death. Teacher removed all my illnesses as soon as I attended the class. Teacher purified my body. It was Teacher Li Hongzhi that saved me and gave me my second life!
Toward the end of the class, Teacher asked each one of us to write an experience-sharing paper. I thought, "There were more than two thousand people in the class. If everyone wrote a few pages, it would add up to a huge pile. Teacher was so busy spreading the Fa. If everyone in each class did this, how could Teacher have the time to read them?" Therefore, initially I didn't write anything. But Teacher asked us again, so I wrote nine pages. Of course, my understandings on Falun Dafa were quite shallow back then. I turned it in to the practitioner who demonstrated the exercises. He carefully put it in his bag. I asked, "Will Teacher really read it?" He said, "Of course, so everyone should write it. Teacher reads each and every experience-sharing paper." Later I heard that, even though Teacher was so busy spreading the Fa, he used his sleep time to read all our papers--at the hotel, on the train, and when others were sleeping. I was so moved even when I thought about this today. Nobody could imagine what and how much Teacher had sacrificed when he was busy spreading the Fa.
From April 29 to May 8 in1994, I attended the seventh Falun Dafa Class that Teacher held in Changchun. I saw Teacher cleansing the dimensions several times before each lesson, and Teacher sent out a lot of gong. Now I know that the evil's interference was quite rampant when Teacher was spreading the Fa.
On the second day when Teacher talked about other dimensions, he gave us an example to help us better understand the Fa. He took the glass on the podium in one hand as, with the other hand, he made as if to pull the glass aside. I saw a row of glasses. When Teacher's hand stopped moving, all of us saw another glass that was a little smaller than the original one. Before then, I had very strong ordinary people's notions. Due to what I learned from modern science, I had a rigid way of thinking. I found it hard to understand or believe anything that I couldn't see with my flesh eyes. When I saw what Teacher showed us, I suddenly made a breakthrough. One night not long after this, I turned off the light while I was doing the fifth exercise. When I started to do the hand gestures, for some reason I opened my eyes and saw lights coming out of my palms. It was beautiful. I came to realize that Teacher let me see the other dimensions to help me believe in Falun Dafa. It was an encouragement from Teacher during my cultivation!
Many people attended the Seventh and the Eighth Classes, and time was tight. In order to save time, Teacher held one class during the daytime and one at night. Because of this, Teacher had to suffer more for us. Sometimes he had no time to eat or rest. Teacher always considers the practitioners, and he is always kind to others. Teacher had a very busy schedule. All the activities were written on a large piece of paper. There wasn't any spare time for him. Teacher endured so many hardships to spread the Fa. He not only had to cleanse the interference by the evils in other dimensions, but also traveled all over. He ate instant noodles, and he was in tremendous difficulties when he didn't have enough money. The tuition for the classes was the cheapest, compared to other qigong classes. For those that attended the class for the first time, the tuition was 50 yuan. After that, the tuition was only 25 yuan. In order to save sentient beings, Teacher suffered so much. This is something that we will never be able to return to Teacher.
Teacher didn't have written drafts for his lectures. I noticed this, and I didn't understand it. Before each lesson started, Teacher would take out a piece of paper from his upper pocket. He'd lay it in front of him on the podium. Teacher's Fa-lecture was structured so well. It was fascinating and clear. Even for complex issues, Teacher would be able to use just one sentence to help us see the essence. Sometimes, Teacher took a quick peek at that piece of paper. Other times, he never looked at it. Teacher always wrapped up his lecture just in time. I was very curious what was written on that piece of paper. It didn't seem to have a lot of words on it, so how was he able to lecture without stopping? Now I knew that Teacher was explaining the most profound Fa of the cosmos. How could there be a written draft?
Each lesson would be interrupted several times by practitioners' applause. Sometimes we clapped for a long time. We could see very clearly that Teacher used the mighty virtue of the Fa instead of ordinary people's methods when spreading the Fa. Teacher never had any advertisements or notices published for the classes.
In this class, Teacher purified practitioners' bodies again. I always went home to have dinner after the lecture. It ended at about 8 p.m. If I caught a bus, I'd take it. Otherwise, I'd walk home. My home was far away from the place where the class was held. Strangely, I wasn't hungry or tired on my way home. My whole body was light, and I'd get home very quickly. I didn't pay attention to this back then. Later, I knew I was able to do it because Teacher helped me.
At the end of the class, at our request, Teacher made great hand gestures. Teacher's hand-gestures were gorgeous. They appear powerful yet elegant at the same time. I didn't understand them, but I felt they were great, and I felt that Teacher was encouraging us. After the class, many people presented Teacher with silk flags and flowers. In the end, with a great deal of force, Teacher turned his arms to rotate the great Falun. All of us stood up and clapped to thank him. It sounded like thunder. We didn't want to leave. To satisfy our requests, Teacher took pictures with us, thousands of practitioners. Just imagine how many pictures with practitioners from two classes Teacher had to stand in. I remember it was noon and it was hot. Yet Teacher took all this trouble to do it. Teacher was setting a model for us to show us how to be selfless.
On December 31 1994, I attended the conference in Dalian, Teacher's last Fa-lecture in China. It was at Dalian Stadium. Many people--about 6,000--went there. Many more wanted to go, but there weren't any more tickets. Teacher had just finished the Fifth Class in Guangzhou City, Guangdong Province. He hurried to Dalian immediately. It was cold that day, raining with snow.
We arrived early, but we didn't want to go anywhere else. We waited for Teacher outside of the stadium. Some of us were sharing experiences. The others were doing the exercises. After several hours, it was time to go in. Even with so many people, we were very orderly as we entered. The huge stadium was full. When our great Teacher came in, all of us stood up and clapped. It sounded like thunder with 6,000 people clapping. I saw Teacher wearing very thin clothes, and he had on thin leather shoes, while we were wearing all of our winter gear. Teacher has suffered so much for us! Someone said in a small voice, "Our disciples' hearts ache for you, Teacher." I had mixed feelings. On the one hand, I felt cold for Teacher since he didn't wear thick clothes. On the other hand, I was ashamed of myself that I had let Teacher down since I didn't cultivate myself well. I wanted to cry. Some of us cried. Even some male fellow practitioners shed tears. None of us cried loudly since we didn't want to interfere with Teacher's Fa-lecture, so we tried our best to control our emotions. I used all the tissues that I had. Even though I was crying, I was listening very carefully to Teacher. During the Fa-lecture, Teacher asked us to stand up to purify our bodies. I didn't stand up since I didn't have any illnesses anymore. Teacher then said, "For those who don't have any illnesses, please stand up for your families." My husband had problems with his vertebrae since he hurt his back when he was trying to lift a barrel of water. I stood up. Teacher removed my husband's illness as well.
In the end, Teacher made hand gestures for us again. Teacher knew what we were thinking, so even though he must have been very tired from his journey, he raised his arms very high and waved to us and walked around the stadium once so that those of us who had never met Teacher could see him more clearly. In fact, even those of us who had seen Teacher before wanted to see him again! It was such a great energy field. My eyes were blurred because of my tears. All of us stood up and clapped very hard to show our deep respect for Teacher. When he came close to my seat, I wiped away the tears in my eyes to get a better look at him. There he was. Then Teacher saw me, too. My seat was high up, so I was quite far away from him. But I felt so close to Teacher, and I was able to see him very clearly. When our eyes met, I felt that we looked at each other for a while.
It was very moving. All of us kept clapping very hard. We didn't want to leave. I did Heshi and saw Teacher leave the stadium. On my way out, I saw that many of us had red eyes from crying. On the train, many fellow practitioners gladly told each other that they felt Teacher was looking at him or her, just as I had felt. There were more than 6,000 people. When Teacher walked by, everyone of us felt he was looking at us for a while. How could it be? I came to realize that it was a proof of Teacher's boundless Buddha power. Teacher has the power to do anything!
When I got to this point in my sharing, I thought about the Jiang Zemin who insisted on launching the most brutal, the most inhuman, and the most evil persecution because of his jealousy of Teacher and Falun Dafa. It couldn't stand seeing Falun Dafa being spread and so many people learning Falun Dafa and respecting Teacher. How could it know and understand Falun Dafa disciples' hearts towards our Teacher? How could it know why we admire our Teacher so much?
When I came back from Dalian, I saw Falun that night at home. I was so excited. A few days later, in my dream, I saw many huge colorful circles of light that lasted a long time. I also saw Teacher's picture suddenly multiplying. I saw scenes in other dimensions, too. It was a huge encouragement to me. In the years to come, every time I slacked off or became sad or depressed, Teacher would give me hints and encourage me. Teacher never gave up on me.
July 26, 1998, was very solemn day at the Changchun Shangarila Hotel. Our great Teacher came to the conference to give a Fa-lecture and explain the Fa to us.
Teacher talked a while. Then he asked the staff to raise his seat. Unprepared, the staff put something that looked like a step stool on Teacher's chair, which he then sat on it. His feet were in the air and his arms were far from the desk. We can imagine such a position is not comfortable at all. Teacher did this simply because the chair was low and he wanted to help practitioners see him more clearly. Teacher talked to us in this position for five hours. He showed us how to be considerate of others and selfless. Another thing that worried us was that Teacher didn't even have time to drink any water during the whole time.
Teacher told us many profound Fa truths at the conference. Teachertalked about how "...the parts of you that constantly get assimilated to the Fa are being separated."(Teaching the Fa at the Assistants' Fa Conference in Changchun) Teacher removed various kinds of notions from us. Teacher alsotalked about "...hide the hiding of their attachments" so we wouldn't hide our notions and attachments. (Teaching the Fa at the Assistants' Fa Conference in Changchun) Teacher also told us how to study the Fa and how to study the Fa better. He also told us that we should read the Fa from the beginning to the end. Teacher was pushing us to a higher and broader state. Back then, we were studying Teacher's articles "Digging out the Roots", "For Whom Do You Exist?" etc. Teacher answered many difficult questions from us about those articles. Teacher's lecture moved us. We were all on the edge of our seats, not wanting to miss one word. It changed us tremendously, both physically and mentally.
During the break, many practitioners couldn't wait to hurry to Teacher. In order to let Teacher take a rest, many practitioners didn't move. However, how could Teacher rest? The seats were very close to each other. In order to let other practitioners out, I had to step out into the aisle. When I did, I was ushered forward by others. When I asked questions, Teacher looked at me immediately and answered my questions. I saw Teacher had very, very fine, smooth skin as if he didn't have any sweat pores. Later I learned from Teacher's articles that he has a different origin from us, that he has his own system, and that he doesn't need anything from us. Teacher only gives things to us, and bears difficulties and suffers for us. Some practitioners asked Teacher to drink some water, but he was too busy answering our questions and therefore he didn't have any water. Teacher stood to answer our questions, so he didn't get any rest at all. Many practitioners felt guilty about this later on.
Every time Teacher answered a question, we applauded very warmly. It showed our boundless thanks and admiration from the bottom of our hearts to Teacher since we understood more about the Fa and Teacher after cultivating several years and improving ourselves in our cultivation and Fa-study. It showed our heartfelt praise and respect for the Fa and Teacher! It was the only way of showing our thankful hearts to Teacher on such an occasion.
Eventually, Teacher reminded us that it had been five hours. However, we were all so focused that we forgot about the time. Some of our questions were not that good, including my questions. It seemed we asked some questions that we shouldn't have asked. Even so, our great Teacher had ways to break our notions and the barriers to broaden our thinking and to help us ask the questions that were able to benefit all of us. Teacher told us the Fa principles for different layers in the cosmos. Teacher's lecture was quite high and broad. Attending this conference showed Teacher's compassion toward the practitioners from his hometown. Later a book was published on this lecture, which helped the practitioners around the world elevate so we could improve as a whole body. The Fa-lecture took five hours, yet none of us felt it was long at all. It was as if time flew. We'd have been more than happy to listen to Teacher if he had talked to us for five more hours. In the end, our palms even hurt a little from clapping. Still, we didn't want to leave.
Now, every time when I think about Teacher, no matter when or where, I can't hold back my tears. Really, using thousands of thousands of words, using all the human words, I could never adequately express my gratitude for Teacher's benevolence in saving me. Our respectful Teacher really sacrificed so much for us. Our Teacher is so magnificent. What I experienced was just a tiny tiny bit of Teacher's boundless compassion.