(Clearwisdom.net) After July 20, 1999, another practitioner and I cooperated very well in validating that Falun Gong is good and saving sentient beings from being manipulated by the CCP's lies. Then, a few years ago, we suddenly stopped cooperating. Whenever she said anything, I took the opposite view. Sometimes we argued, holding on to our own views and not willing to give in to the other. Even though we knew that it was not right afterwards, it was still hard to forbear in the heat of the moment. In the end, we simply decided to ignore each other and do things by ourselves, thus causing much damage to the entire body.
Studying Master's "Teaching the Fa to Australian Falun Dafa Practitioners" made me feel very ashamed. Master seemed to be talking directly to me. I was ashamed to face him.
For the longest time I have had many attachments to human notions, my xinxing did not improve, and the evil was able to make use of my attachments. On the surface it looked like the other practitioner was distancing herself from me, but the real problem has been that I did not look inside when problems arose, I have not been forgiving of others when they make mistakes, and I have had a strong attachment to pick apart every problem. I was unable to look at the other person's capacity to forbear from the perspective of the Fa and was only trying to protect my own feelings of "unfairness" and my attachment to fame. As a result, I could only see the faults in others and not the attachments in myself. When others bring up my problems, I am filled with anger and use all kinds of excuses to run away, while at the same time begrudging others and even hiding my own jealousy.
Master taught us: "Yet when we run into problems, we often look outwards--'Why are you treating me like that?'--and feel that we've been treated unfairly, instead of examining ourselves. That's the greatest and most fatal obstacle for all living beings." ("Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Singapore")
I did not conduct myself according to the requirements of a true cultivator, instead, I held on tight to my selfish viewpoint. I did not think compassionately about others. Dafa disciples have to have this, because the future universe is built on selflessness.
Being cultivators of the same school, we're all part of a whole. Whenever problems arise, it is an opportunity for us to improve our xinxing. With fellow cultivators we have to be kind and forbearing. Clarifying the truth of the persecution and saving sentient beings is the most important thing at hand now, and we have neither the time nor the energy to argue over these things. We've come to the world to assist Master in rectifying the Fa and should cherish the predestined relationships between us. When we return to our places in the future, we will not be able to see each other even if we want to.
I have learned to look inside. To look inside is basically a process of forbearing and tolerating, reducing one's karma and cultivating and improving. When I finally realized this, when I was finally able to put these things and notions away, I felt very light throughout my entire body. My thoughts became clearer and I found what I lacked, as well as my attachments. I decided to cultivate and get rid of them and assimilate to the Fa, purifying myself. I deeply felt that Master is always looking after us disciples. I thank Master for exposing my attachments by using my relationship with my fellow practitioner, allowing me to make another step forwards on the path of cultivation. I cannot describe my gratitude towards Master's infinite compassion. I strive to be more diligent so that Master will not have to worry about me.