(Clearwisdom.net) I am a senior Falun Dafa practitioner. I have come to the realization that Dafa's requirements for cultivators have become stricter as the Fa-rectification period nears its end.
Although I have limited education and gained understanding in the Fa slowly, I still wanted to write about my cultivation experiences. I am deeply grateful for the wisdom that Dafa gives me and for the great physical and spiritual changes that Dafa has brought to me. So, I broke through my preconceived idea that I couldn't write and submitted my experience sharing articles to the Minghui website, the Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net. Actually, I found that the writing itself has helped me to improve.
In the past, I was very excited when I saw that one of my experience sharing articles was published on the Minghui website. I felt that it was because of Teacher's help and encouragement that I could raise up, bit by bit, during the past ten years of cultivating Dafa and assisting Teacher to rectify the Fa. I am very grateful to Teacher and for fellow practitioners' help.
After that article was published, I became overjoyed. I started thinking, "Maybe my article is good in validating Dafa. Will it also be published in the "Minghui Weekly" magazine?" I then realized that this thought was wrong. Why did I have this thought? And why was I not able to suppress it? This thought kept surfacing as an invisible rotten thing. When the Minghui Weekly was available, I checked it immediately to search for my article.
Shortly after that, I realized that my pursuit revealed a big problem in my cultivation. I still had an attachment to fame. I was like a non-practitioner on this issue. I felt very sorry. Why could this bad thought surface? Why did I still have such a strong attachment to myself? Looking inward, I found that my true self was blocked by a deeply hidden attachment to fame and self-interest. This attachment made my other thoughts very fragile, even though they had been well cultivated. It made me focus on my attachment and forget Teacher's Fa. On the other hand, I felt that this incident was also a good thing. It helped me find the gaps in my cultivation and led to my disintegrating the evil factors so that I could better understand the Fa.
When something happens unexpectedly, I should first think, "I am a cultivator walking on the path to godhood. I should have no attachment to anything." Having cultivated for so long, I still had an attachment to myself. I realized that whenever something unexpected happens, my first thought about it has a big impact on how I'm affected. I am far from Teacher's requirement of being totally altruistic. If my thought is not righteous, my energy field will not be righteous. The evil is watching closely. Whenever a bad thought surfaced, it was as if I were asking for it. It then took advantage of me and could interfere and disrupt the Fa rectification.
The alarm clock that used to wake me up every day suddenly stopped working. My phone started to ring when I sent forth the righteous thoughts. And, several things would happen during the day to keep me busy and prevent me from calming down for Fa study. Also, I was no longer enthusiastic about doing truth clarification work. Moreover, I started to develop a bad temper. Weren't all these problems the result of my unrighteous thoughts? A difference in one thought can bring about different results. The evil's goal was to destroy me, and the situation was very dangerous. After realizing this, I felt very sorry and ashamed. I felt unworthy of Teacher's efforts to save me.
Why did I have such a strong human thought? Why was I so attached to having my article published? Why couldn't I transcend the level of personal cultivation? It was because my selfishness suppressed my divine side. The purpose of publishing articles is to encourage sharing. Our true improvement is what's most important.
Dafa can do anything. Because I was not completely assimilated to the Fa, Teacher gave me an opportunity to raise up. Through this incident, I suddenly felt that my world was wider and that I understood more. I felt lighter after letting go of the attachment, and the environment improved too. I also completely understood that a cultivator must keep every thought in line with the Fa. In any circumstance, we need to remember that we are Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples. We need to keep righteous thoughts, eliminate unrighteous thoughts and notions, rectify ourselves according to the Fa, and use divine thoughts to control ourselves.
The above is my understanding. Please point out my gaps.
October 8, 2008