(Clearwisdom.net) Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Canada", "To cultivate is to search your inner self and discover your shortcomings, attachments and bad thoughts, as well as find ways to cultivate better and to get rid of your bad thoughts. This is cultivation through searching inside yourself." Teacher's Fa has deep and rich meanings at all levels. Here, I'd like to share some of the thoughts that I came to realize during my cultivation.
Initially, I tried to look inside to be a good person and not to fight with others in my family, at work, and in social circles. I used everyday people's standards when trying to be a good person. I was very happy since everybody praised me.
After some time, I couldn't pass my cultivation tests any more using my initial way of looking inside. Using everyday people's standards, I found I was doing everything right. When I tried to use Falun Dafa practitioners' standards, I felt unfairly treated or wronged. It wasn't easy for me to stay calm and thank those people when they took advantage of my kindness or when they cursed me for no reason.
Sometimes, I became very angry. However, the angrier I became, the more they'd curse me. I clenched my teeth and with tears in my heart, I said to them in my mind, "Thank you for cursing me. I must pass this test, Teacher. Thank you for helping me, Teacher." When I repeated this in my mind three times, I found I wasn't that angry any more and those people didn't seem to be that bad. I clearly felt happiness rising from the bottom of my heart when I improved my xinxing. Gradually, those people who liked to curse me no longer did that. In fact, they became very polite to me.
When clarifying the truth, I noticed sometimes I was able to do it well, sometimes not. Some people that I thought would accept what I said very easily, didn't. Others that I thought it wouldn't be easy to reach accepted the truth. When examining myself against the Fa, I came to see that when I studied the Fa well and when I was in a calm state, I was able to help people quit the Party without talking too much. Otherwise, people's hearts wouldn't move even when I talked a lot. I also realized that I shouldn't have the attachments of trying to label people. I should be compassionate to everyone since all the people came for the Fa. My thoughts about whether they would accept the truth easily or not were just everyday people's notions. I also noticed that what we said might not be as important as our compassion and the tone of our voice.
When I pointed out a fellow practitioner's attachment but he didn't accept it, I looked inside and I came to realize that I myself actually had that attachment! I took a closer look and found that those who said others were selfish were actually selfish people themselves. Those who always remembered who helped them were always ready to help others. Those who claimed other people were jealous actually were jealous of others. Those who like gossip often complained about others being talkative. Interestingly, people who had the same attachments often were in the same group. That's probably why we have an old Chinese proverb that says, "People can be judged based on the people with whom they associate." I came to realize that such an arrangement was so that we can use others we are close to as mirrors in order for them to improve ourselves. All predestined relationships are for today's cultivation. Teacher said in his article "A Dialogue with Time", "It would be good if they could manage to search within themselves for the things that they have been able to find in others." Reading this, I came to know how to cultivate! I was so happy!
When I see someone publicly criticizing others, I ask myself:
- Did I do similar things? Oh, yes, I did this to my wife. I was picky and criticized her in front of our kids. I called her that night and apologized to her and the kids since I was a bad example for our kids when I searched outwardly. I needed to change.
- Did I have the same shortcoming? Yes, to some degree. I needed to change that as well!
- That person thought she studied the Fa well. However, what she said was trying to change others while she didn't look at the other side from the Fa. I often did this, too. When I studied the Fa, I thought the Fa was criticizing others while praising my actions. If I continued to be like this, I might breed demons in my own mind. When I memorized the Fa, I came to fully understand "Our discipline focuses directly on your mind." (The Fourth Talk in Zhuan Falun). The attachments that Teacher talked about are not other practitioners', but mine. Every sentence and every word in Zhuan Falun is for me and directly targets my attachments. Therefore, I must keep memorizing the Fa. Whenever the thought "this sentence is for fellow practitioner so-and-so" came out, I'd eliminate it immediately. It is not a thought from my true self. It was trying to interfere with my Fa study. I definitely could not allow it in my mind.
- She said some other practitioners encouraged her to criticize others and therefore she did so. I asked myself, "Did I enjoy watching others being criticized?" Yes, I did, and more than once. As a child, I was very glad to see someone who bullied me get beat up by others. How can such a thought exist in the new cosmos?
When looking inside, I came to realize that I still had so many attachments. I was shocked. I must go forward more diligently!
Now, whenever I am faced by "challenges," for example, when I can't open the door of my car or when my computer crashes, I ask myself, "Did I do something wrong? Did I have some unrighteous thoughts?" As soon as I uncover my attachment and when I am determined to get rid of it, the door of my car will open or my computer will recover by itself. I came to realize that there aren't tests that I can't pass and there aren't things that I can't do as long as I look inside! As long as we look inside, cultivation is not that hard.
With the process of looking inside, I started to enjoy looking at things from above.
I work at a nursing home for elderly people. After I got rid of my attachments to fame and status, Teacher empowered me with the field of compassion. I always smile at those elderly people. They are touched by my kind smiles and even those who are the most picky praise me. Some of them cursed, hit, spit at people, scratched others with their sharp nails, played with their stools, and were very stubborn. My English is not very good; however, with my smiles and tender care, they changed.
How was I able to achieve this? I was able to do this because I raised my level. None of their words or actions can hurt me. My heart will not be moved by them. At work, I do my job without pursuit. I don't go after a promotion or a bonus. I'm not attached to them. I don't mind their laughing at me. I always smile at them and my smile comes from the bottom of my heart. Therefore, it is pure and compassionate. I am not afraid of hard work. Therefore, even the laziest coworkers are not lazy when they are with me. As long as I am at work, nobody will ignore any of the patients.
Of course, no matter how well I thought I did, I still had many shortcomings so sometimes conflicts might happen or things didn't work out. But I'm determined that I should bring the beauty of Falun Dafa to my workplace and everywhere else in my life.
It is because of Teacher's guiding me and protecting me that I've come this far. We don't have a long way to go now. I must stay clear-minded and rational. I must strive forward diligently during the final stage so I can assist Teacher with the Fa-rectification and save more sentient beings.
The above is my personal understanding. Please correct me if I said anything inappropriate.
Thank you Teacher!
Thank you fellow practitioners!
