(Clearwisdom.net) The practitioners in Seattle have been preparing for the Chinese Spectacular show for almost four months. I had been helping to sell tickets, but my giving was conditional. For example, when the organizer asked if anyone could help with a certain task, I used excuses for not helping. I would think about having to go to work and thus not having enough time to perform the task. Later, I heard that practitioners from California used their lunch time to perform the tasks. In comparison, we can see the gap between those practitioners and me. Conditional giving is equivalent to bargaining. It is like having the attitude that one only gives if one gets the return that one has affixed. This kind of mentality is impure. Master said that practitioners are on the path to being divine beings. Yet I held on to my attachments and could not achieve a breakthrough.
When the preparation work for the Chinese Spectacular started, I took the initiative to lead some projects. As I made my conditional contribution, I only used the time during the weekends to handle these projects. In the end, there was one project that was delayed due to me. Fellow practitioners were very displeased with me. I was also very self-reproachful. I understood that we have to take the initiative to do the Dafa projects, and it is also a serious matter. We cannot simply promise to do things and in the end not perform. We must do what we have promised to do. There is an old saying "In comparison to lots of gold, Buxi's promise is more valuable (Buxi is a person who always keeps his promises)." The "Truthfulness" in "Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance" requires us to do truthful things and say truthful words. If we did not fulfill our promise, even if the initial intention was good, by not keeping our promise we did not assimilate to "Truthfulness." From another viewpoint, I had not been responsible toward Dafa. Because I did not do the project well, the other practitioners had to spend additional time and energy to help me make amends and thus I caused a delay for everyone.
When the Chinese Spectacular started to perform, I was immersed in the compassion of Dafa and I couldn't stop crying. This show, for which I had been waiting for a year, had finally started to perform in our area; however, I did not do some of the projects necessary for the preparation work due to some of my attachments. Thus I was truly regretful and had remorse, but it was too late to make amends.
A day will come when all things will end. When the moment of Fa-rectification arrives, do I want to end up being full of regret and remorse because I had attachments that I could not let go of? The things that I did not do well this year, I may still have next year to make amends. But at the moment when the Fa-rectification arrives, there will be no more chances to make amends. That will be the time when it is really too late. But who should we blame? Only ourselves! Everyone is cultivating the same Fa. Master made arrangements for all of us to improve ourselves. But if I protect my own impure attachments and refuse to let go of them, then isn't it true that I am like the bottle filled with dirty things that Master has mentioned in Zhuan Falun?
Master told us that there is not much time left. Now it is the final phase and this moment "is worth a thousand times more than gold and is extremely valuable." Due to the Chinese Spectacular this time, I gained a deeper understanding that time is really very tight. I understand that however many Dafa projects we do, we must get rid of all our attachments and really improve ourselves to achieve Consummation and return with Master.
May 1, 2008
