(Clearwisdom.net) For a long time, I didn't think I envied others who practice well. So, when my fellow practitioners suggested that I read the article "A Compilation of Articles Related to Eliminating the Attachment of Jealousy" (http://www.clearwisdom.net/emh/articles/2008/1/28/93737.html) I did not pay much attention. In the meantime, I did not completely understand what the fellow practitioner said about those who "look down upon those who do not practice well," or in other words, "laughing at others" was also a manifestation of jealousy.
I was irritated about having to deliver food to my mother-in-law in the hospital one day recently. I felt that my sister-in-law should be partly responsible, and thought it was unfair that I had to do it by myself. So, I was not happy. It did not bother me at all during her first stay in the hospital, but this time it bothered me a lot. What happened to me this time? I could not control myself and behaved well part of the time, and poorly at other times.
This day was also our group Fa study. My fellow practitioners suggested that I read the article about jealousy carefully when they found out that I had only read part of it. So I read it more closely after returning home. I then understood that the reason I was not nice and felt unbalanced recently was actually because of jealousy.
The issue of unfairness is actually a situation of being influenced by the evil CCP's "absolute egalitarianism" and its effort to convince everyone that they should be the same. Each one has his/her own share. Otherwise, one will not be happy. In fact, the same situation happened during my mother-in-law's second hospitalization. I realized that jealousy caused me to feel unfair, which is not the real "me." I resolved not to be controlled by it. Therefore, I became calmer and my xinxing elevated.
Originally, I did not think it was a big deal and I did not realize that there was a problem. As a practitioner, what you hear or come across is certainly not accidental. Two days later, my husband (who is also a practitioner) made a comment and I immediately replied, "You can't be so sure about it." He then responded, "Are you accustomed to arguing?" I felt very uncomfortable hearing this. However when I gave it a second thought later on, it seemed that he was right. Whenever others said something, I did not think too much and preferred to criticize immediately. I did not think too much about my response and thought I had a better viewpoint than others and that I was the only person who held correct opinions. This is an aspect of jealousy. I should first look for whether there is anything wrong with myself, before questioning what others say.
I felt my husband's opinion was very naive when he talked about my mother-in-law's situation, I felt his opinion was very naive because I have a medical background. Therefore my reply to him was neither kind nor patient. If one cannot view things from a practitioner's view point, and looks down upon others, such a mindset affects cultivation and even encourages jealousy to grow.
For practitioners who are not so diligent in cultivation in some area, or for some period of time, they may not be able to express their view from Dafa's point of view, and it will be hard to eliminate the evil factors behind the events, thus helping them to quickly set up righteous thoughts and deeds. Instead, they clutch the "looking down upon" attitude, accuse and complain, which will only do harm and cause damage to us, and even allow the old forces to take advantage. Therefore, we cannot ignore getting rid of jealousy.
From my personal experience, multiple problems occurred when I thought I did not have the attachment of jealousy. Therefore, I suggest those fellow practitioners who think they do not have jealousy also read the brochure "A Compilation of Articles Related to Eliminating the Attachment of Jealousy."
The above is my current personal understanding. Please point out if there is any mistakes.
