(Clearwisdom.net) Selfishness is covered up by all kinds of attachments. For example, sometimes we prefer to be with someone or not to be with someone; we judge whether other people's speech is appropriate from our own standpoint; we get angry if someone disturbs our plans; we do not want to go out to do Dafa work, worrying that it may affect the atmosphere at home; we delay our work, as we worry about being seen by someone we know or being persecuted; we always try to finish ordinary people's work before doing Dafa work, and we want to have a companion to do Dafa work, as if it will make us more confident. When distributing truth-clarifying materials, my first thought is whether someone saw me, instead of focusing on saving sentient beings. I would only clarify the truth to the elderly or women and think it is safer this way; sometimes I would clarify the truth according to the plan in my mind, instead of the situation of the person. As a result, very few people to whom I reached out quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP).
Sometimes, selfishness is buried very deeply. For example, when I eagerly tried to remove the attachment of fear and studied the Fa diligently, my actual purpose, subconsciously, was to protect myself from being persecuted and incurring losses. In taking on projects of saving sentient beings, my purpose was actually to avoid being left behind in cultivation and to feel good. A lot of my tears were shed, not for the sentient beings that could not be saved, but actually for myself. As a result, I did not exert my best efforts to save people and therefore wasted many opportunities of saving people.
The attachment of comfort derived from selfishness is a big obstacle to diligent cultivation. It manifests itself in addiction to sleep, addiction to food, laziness, slow reactions, hesitation, inactivity, making little contact with others, and evading burdens, etc.,resulting in purposely decreasing chances of saving people. Sometimes, right before I went out, a thought was suddenly produced: I'd better stay home and study the Fa more. This was using Fa study to cover all sorts of attachments. That thought is very dangerous, and I realized that it was time to get rid of it.
In addition, I realized that the attachment of showing off is also derived from selfishness, because showing off itself is a manifestation of being attached to oneself. From my childhood, I developed a habit of keeping tidy and neat, and received many compliments for it from others. Therefore, even now (I'm 36 years old), I always feel good about my healthy physique and good sense of aesthetics. It's an attachment of showing off my good figure. Now that I have recognized this very bad attachment, it's already eliminated for the most part. I also detected a post-natal notion from my attachment of showing off-- believing that my way of dressing is the only standard.
All these bad attachments are derived from "selfishness." I'm exposing it today in order to completely eliminate this, the source of all attachments.
Fellow practitioners, let's be diligent in cultivation! The Fa-rectification is close to completion. Only by letting go of all attachments, and letting go of ego, can we reach consummation and return with Master.
Please kindly correct any misunderstandings, as my level of enlightenment is limited.
