(Clearwisdom.net) I began to cultivate in Falun Dafa at the end of 1996. Prior to that I was burdened by more than 20 illnesses, the most serious being gastric disease. I had gastric pain daily and was unable to tolerate the side effects of many medications. When it hurt really badly, I rolled on the floor and was unable to go to work. My face was yellowish and pale. The physical pain was indescribable, but the psychological pain was even harder to bear.
My husband and I didn't get along and had argued and quarreled for many years. When my illnesses worsened, the family battle heated up. My husband would come home every few days from his work in a remote location. While home, he would drink to excess and start to quarrel with me. We talked about getting a divorce. My family faced separation. For my two young children, I tried to bear it. I lived one day at a time and tried to get by.
At the end of 1996 I was fortunate to find out about Dafa, an opportunity that only presents itself once in tens of thousands of years. Seeing Dafa was like seeing light, seeing hope. This is the Universal truth I had searched for so hard in this life. Holding the precious book Zhuan Falun, I read and read like a hungry child. From that moment on, I was no longer in despair. I began to see a bright path that connected to the Heavens! A few days after learning the principle and exercises, little by little, all my illnesses disappeared, as did the spirit that had possessed me. I felt a physical ease I had never before experienced. My body was comfortable, lithe, and agile, even when I walked.
My face had a healthy glow, and I no longer needed my corrective glasses. My back used to be bent; now it was straight. To my family and neighbors' pleasant surprise I completely changed for the better. Nearly 60 years old, I could carry something weighting 100 Jin (Chinese measurement of weight, 100 Jin = 110 lb.) up the stairs without getting exhausted. They thought it was unbelievable, exclaiming, "This old woman is a miracle!" The interpersonal conflicts with my husband, mother-in-law, brother, and sisters-in-law ended. We were in harmony again, and our relationships continued to improve.
I followed Master's principle, "When it's difficult to endure, you can endure it. When it's impossible to do, you can do it." (Zhuan Falun, 2000 translation version) I was able to tolerate, although like a new practitioner, with tears. Still, my neighbors no longer heard me getting involved in arguments. Little by little, my husband and I started to get along. My family interacted cordially. My children began to smile.
Such a good Master! Such a good Dafa! I was determined to cultivate well and follow Master home. I wanted people around me to have the blessing to be offered salvation and walk into Dafa cultivation, like me. Using my own experiences as an example, I spoke of Dafa's miracles and beauty to co-workers, relatives, and friends. Whoever wanted to learn, I offered Dafa books to them with my limited salary. One by one, my husband, sisters, younger brother, my aunt, and several co-workers joined the cultivation group.
When the persecution began on July 20, 1999, although I firmly decided to cultivate to the end, my foundation was poor. I had too many human thoughts and lots of fear. I hid at home to study the Fa. In late September 1999, I went to Beijing to validate the Fa, but authorities caught me in the middle of the trip and detained me. My home was ransacked. I was fined and sent to a brainwashing center where I didn't abandon human thoughts and compromised with the evil: I wrote a Guarantee Statement. I lamented badly. In that murky mood I heard, Master shout loudly, "If you fall, get up!" I vowed solemnly in front of Master's photo: "I will study the Fa in a steadfast manner and walk my pre-arranged path, start anew, and make up for what was lost." That night, Master did "Guanding" for me ("Guanding is a reinforcing method for purifying and further cleaning up your body." [Zhuan Falun, version 2000]) and cleansed my body. All my illnesses were gone again. I once more became light.
I summarized the lesson this painful experience taught me. As I studied the Fa, I looked within and found a lot of issues: (1) My attitude toward learning the Fa raised questions. I studied the Fa with a negative pursuit in mind. I did not truly assimilate into Dafa, nor did I experience and understand Dafa's profound meaning. (2) I could not discipline myself. Especially at home, I didn't look inside, didn't cultivate my xinxing, and allowed all kinds of human thoughts to control me. (3) My fundamental cultivation was not righteous. I walked into Dafa while holding onto fundamental attachments. I pursued health, happiness, Consummation, freedom, and salvation. All these were based on me pursuing self-interest and personal gain. Finding the source of my problems, I cultivated to relinquish them, corrected myself again during Fa-rectification, and was able to walk the path Master had arranged.
Fa study revealed many problems within me--faults, desires, many human thoughts, particularly fear. I definitely changed my thinking and purged these post-natal habits, validated the Fa, and made up for the loss.
To start, I told the police station head and the police officers who came to my home that the Guarantee Statement I had written was invalid. I clarified the truth about Dafa to them. Afterward, my surroundings became righteous. My family no longer tried to control me as before. Neighbors who monitored and followed me gave up doing it. Several elderly women who used to question me stopped. District police eventually stopped coming to see me. My company's managers didn't ask about my recent activities. I had a profound insight that, as long as we hold to the pure thought of offering people salvation and our actions are solely based on wanting the best for others, our righteous thoughts and the power to offer people salvation will be stronger and the environment will improve as well.
I returned home after being homeless for a while to avoid any persecution. I began to work on small things around home, harmonizing my family and correcting myself. I adopted various ways to make things in my family better, utilizing the compassion I cultivated from Dafa as well as the pure thoughts of offering the people salvation. I also sent righteous thoughts to cleanse the dimensional field. So far, the result has been good.
Dafa practitioners' songs moved my husband's heart and awakened his conscience. He can actively read truth-clarification materials now. Particularly after he read the Nine Commentaries and Dissolving the Party Culture, he changed completely and did the "three withdrawals," resigning from the Chinese Communist Party, the Youth League, and the Young Pioneers. He was able to control his drinking and did not make drunken scenes anymore. He even protects Dafa and shows regret for his past wrongdoings. He is not against me reading the Fa out loud. Sometimes when I play one of Master's lecture audios he quietly listens. He reminds me to do the exercises, send righteous thoughts, and helps me to raise my xinxing.
Actually, it is the Fa and Master that save people; Master has done all these things. As my cultivation environment became better and easier, my family understood the truth completely. They progressed from understanding to support, which helped me advance a big step in doing the three things. Once I was assured, I studied the Fa well and kept righteous thoughts, I strengthened my truth-clarifying efforts, and I persuaded people to withdraw from the Party. In the process of completing my grand, prehistoric vow, I walked every pre-arranged step straight. In different lectures, Master has emphasized how practitioners should correct themselves and offer sentient beings salvation and do well under His guidance.
I would like to share my experiences and realizations in truth-clarification, persuading people to do the "three withdrawals," and offering people salvation. I began with my acquaintances, including family members, relatives both far and near, and anyone I had a connection with. This extended to friends, co-workers, neighbors, and anyone I could get a hold of. I didn't miss any opportunity, not even at parties or gatherings. The results were good. This March I attended the wedding of a child of my former boss and helped more than ten people, including strangers, quite the Party. They were from different career levels and professions.
Those strangers did not look in any way special. Some of them even looked dirty. Although they had no connection with me, they live in China during this special era. They are courageous and brave enough to come down from very high levels. They are Chinese who are here for the Fa. Saving one human is saving a group of beings and a cosmic realm. Saving "only one person" is not that simple.
After only a few minutes of clarifying the truth, they agree to withdraw from the Party and are grateful. But that is also the time when zealotry can emerge, as well as the quest for specific numbers [of people contacted] and the outcome. If we do not purge these habits and return to the right path, truth-clarification work will be affected. Not only will we waste time and effort, but other mentalities may show up: pessimism, disappointment, and a reluctance to say anything further. The pursuit of comfort and ease will also appear. Behind all of these hides a larger issue--self-protection and avoiding being hurt, pursuing recognition and personal interest. All of these reflect one's ego.
Our minds must be above reproach to offer people salvation. I lacked success in this respect and still need to correct myself and strengthen my efforts to do better and improve quickly.
