(Clearwisdom.net) I am a Falun Dafa practitioner, and I am in a wheelchair. Although I have practiced Dafa for 12 years, I have not done the three things well. I always felt that I was not worthy of Teacher's compassionate salvation. Because I am handicapped, I cannot go downstairs by myself, which prevents me from getting in touch with others and clarifying the truth. I was very worried, and I often said to Teacher in my heart, "As your disciple, I haven't done the three things well. I will have much to regret when the Fa-rectification period ends in the future. Why can't I stand up?" (Of course, even if I can't stand up, my righteous faith in Teacher and the Fa will by no means be shaken.) Eventually I had no other option but to think that maybe this was how Teacher arranged for me to walk my path of cultivation.
Every time I looked out the window and saw people passing by, I asked, "Do you already know the truth? Please learn the truth immediately." Maybe Teacher saw my heart for saving people, because under almost impossible circumstances, compassionate Teacher somehow arranged for me to get a cell phone and enlightened me to clarify the truth by sending messages. I was then able to clarify the truth by sending messages via a cell phone. I felt that the process was also one of eliminating my own attachments. First, I collected many cell phone numbers from the newspaper, then edited and saved a truth clarifying message in the cell phone. However, when I tried to send a message, it just wouldn't send because it contained "sensitive words" that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has blocked out of fear. The information center doesn't allow words like Falun Dafa, CCP, Quit the CCP, Youth League, Young Pioneers, etc. What should I do? If the message didn't contain these words, how could the truth be expressed clearly? I did several experiments and was finally able to send the message successfully. It was an example of Teacher giving us wisdom as long as we have the heart of saving sentient beings.
Several days after I sent the messages, I felt very satisfied. Finally I could clarify the truth to people. This cell phone was a powerful tool that Teacher arranged for me to save people. But several days later I encountered a test. A practitioner who sent messages to clarify the truth was illegally arrested after being set up. I knew that my learning about this was a test aimed at my heart. Fellow practitioners around me also tried to persuade me not to send messages anymore. "Just by having your heart unaffected you will be able to handle all situations." ("Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)" from Essentials for Further Advancement II) I removed the battery from my cell phone after I sent the messages. I realized I should pay more attention to security.
When my heart was pure, the message I sent to the person with a predestined relationship would be received silently. But when I developed attachments of zealotry and to doing things, the recipient would reply with threats and curses. The first time I received such a message, "whoosh"--all kinds of attachments emerged. I thought, "It is your good fortune to receive my message--others haven't gotten it yet. Why are you cursing me? Do you know how much difficulty I have had to overcome to get that message to you?" I felt very unbalanced. I studied the Fa and eventually became calm and developed compassion. I felt very sorry for him because he refused the truth. I checked his cell phone number and noticed that he was a university student who advertised in the newspaper as a tutor. I thought that a university student would have good comprehension, so I sent him two poems, "Gods, Awaken" and "The Great Kalpa"
from Hong Yin II, but he replied with yet more curses. I was not angry this time. Maybe I cursed him in my previous life, or maybe I still had attachments that I was not aware of. I should look within myself and thank him for helping me improve my xinxing. I regarded him as a personal relative and strengthened my kind thoughts. I hoped in my heart that he would meet other practitioners who had a predestined relationship with him and tell him the truth. After I received several inflammatory messages, I was enlightened to one point: all sentient beings come for Dafa. How much karma will a person produce if he doesn't accept the truth and replies with curses! However, I cannot acknowledge this, I cannot accept it, and I will not permit sentient beings to reply to me like this. I hope that all sentient beings who have predestined relationships can accept the truth and keep that in mind. Since that thought came to my mind, I never again received similar replies.
Once after I turned on my cell phone, I received six messages, all from the information center. It said that I had received a picture message and informed me to check it online. I didn't know how to use the Internet so I could not check online. But I felt that maybe the information center knew the truth about Dafa. Since my cell phone number had been exposed, I would not be afraid any more. My cell phone number was registered with an alias. I started to send messages to the newspaper agencies and the police, whom I'd dared not contact before. Fellow practitioners helped me collect phone numbers of the chief police officers, 610 Office staff, and the police. I sent messages to each of them without any fear. When I sent messages to those working in prisons, I wrote: "Heaven is eradicating the CCP, stop persecuting Dafa practitioners, it is heavenly justice that good is rewarded with good and evil is punished with evil." At the same time, I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate all the evil beings that persecuted Dafa practitioners in the prison. I also noticed that the cell phone numbers for the guards were all consecutive numbers, with only the final number different, so I created more numbers accordingly, which most probably were numbers of other guards in the prison. I changed the text to: "Keep in mind: Falun Dafa is good. The Tiananmen self-immolation incident was a propaganda ploy staged by the CCP, " etc. During that time, I felt clearly that I improved quickly and that I could recite the Fa quickly. My physical condition was also very good. I also looked within actively. On May 13, 2008, the Ninth World Falun Dafa Day, I sent out more than 150 Dafa truth clarifications messages successfully. For security reasons, I changed to a new cell phone number. I will keep on doing this until the Fa rectifies the human world.
When I send messages, I feel that I am a Dafa particle and that I have already melted into the Fa. This is a feeling that I never had before. I really feel that Teacher is right beside me. It is really beyond any language to express my thanks to Teacher. I am so excited that I cannot hold back my tears. How lucky to be a Dafa practitioner in the Fa-rectification period! But what I do is so minimal. Fellow practitioners always comfort me by saying,"You have that heart, Teacher has already seen it." But I always feel that I am not worthy of Teacher's compassionate salvation. Though I can put down life-and-death and various desires, I still have much karma and many attachments to be removed. The attachment of self-contempt is very bad. I will try to let go of this attachment.
I hope that I can read more experience sharings from handicapped fellow practitioners on the Clearwisdom website. Disabled as we are, we cannot lower our xinxing level. The attachment of self-contempt has to be removed. As long as we regard ourselves as Dafa practitioners and act strictly according to Dafa, Teacher will protect us just the same. Since Teacher has chosen us, shouldn't we be proud of ourselves? Let's grandly walk on our own path of cultivation.
Fellow practitioners, please point out with compassion anything inappropriate.
Heshi to Teacher. Heshi to fellow practitioners.
