(Clearwisdom.net)
Establishing a Falun Gong materials production site and persevering in validating DafaSomeone reported me to the police in 2002 when I talked to my colleagues about Falun Gong. I was held at the local detention center for one month and later sent to the first session of a local 610 Office brainwashing program because I refused to cooperate with the illicit persecution. Master's Fa-rectification verses were published at that time. Master said,
"If a Buddha waved his hand once, all of humankind's diseases could be wiped out; this is absolutely achievable." (Lecture Two, Zhuan Falun)
I realized if I sent forth one thought, the evil would be completely eliminated. We have this ability. Each time they coerced me to watch or read materials slandering Master and Dafa, I held the thought, "The Fa rectifies the cosmos, the evil is completely eliminated." As a result, the video player would malfunction, and the person who read the articles to me would fall asleep. Nevertheless, the evil took advantage of my husband's betrayal and family members' misunderstanding to shake my belief in Dafa. I wavered and thought about going home. My attachments to my mother and daughter also played a role. I signed a guarantee statement, saying I would no longer practice Falun Gong, leaving a stain on my cultivation path.
I left town in 2003 to find a job but still had not found one three months later. At first I thought I was repaying my karma because I had done wrong, so I must endure. I studied the Fa and did the exercises and slowly regained my former self and was able to maintain a compassionate and calm mind. I wrote out truth clarification materials by hand. I did not let the fact that I did not have a job hinder me. I remembered that Master said,
"If you are a true practitioner, our Falun will safeguard you. I am rooted in the universe. If anyone can harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe." (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
I realized the evil was interfering with me by preventing me from finding a job. I should not passively accept the persecution. Master is my protector - I should not go without a job. If I am poor like a beggar, how could I safeguard the image of a Dafa disciple? In fact, the old forces cannot touch me; they did so because I acknowledged it. I immediately sent righteous thoughts, and someone called me the next day, offering me a job.
While working at the computer I looked at it and thought, "I wish I could print flyers." I learned how to type, but I did not know how to edit or print. So I asked my colleagues and observed them. I thought, "I'm a Dafa disciple." The desire to independently produce materials grew stronger by the day. I bought a computer and got in touch with a practitioner living in exile. My brother came to visit me during the summer. He knew a lot about computers. With these two people's assistance I improved my skills quickly. I cried after I made the first flyer. That was how I established a production site and was able to access the Minghui website. I felt extremely fortunate compared to practitioners living in remote mountainous regions. Master had compassionately arranged for everything.
The process of producing materials was also a process of constantly correcting and improving myself. When I encountered new software I fumbled around and, amazingly, was able to hit the right buttons. When the equipment broke down, I would follow the instructions in the users' manual to fix it. When the quality of the printed material was not up to par I would correct it by looking inward, hold a silent discussion with the printer or send righteous thoughts. When I read experience-sharing articles by other practitioners who made flyers, I became aware I had similar experiences. I went from never before touching a computer to being able to do simple repairs, from not knowing a single thing about the computer to editing, downloading, printing, burning VCDs, and producing stickers. At times I would feel tired, but more often I would be overjoyed when Master prompted me. I have also learned many other things, maturing and increasingly feeling the responsibility of practitioners who maintain production sites, and our duty to save sentient beings.
"Some are more capable when it comes to one thing, others with another--you definitely shouldn't let your thoughts run wild based on that. You say that you have such great abilities and so on and so forth, but that was all bestowed upon you by the Fa! Actually, it wouldn't work if you failed to attain that level of abilities. Fa-rectification required your wisdom to reach that point, so you definitely shouldn't think that you're so capable." ("Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference")
I understood from Master's lecture that everything serves the needs of the Fa. I am simply fulfilling the vow I made before I descended into the human world. I eliminated my show-off mentality that constantly surfaced.
Sadly, the production site in my hometown was later destroyed. One practitioner came to the city where I was living. She helped me see my shortcomings and my remaining fear. She seized every opportunity to hand out flyers with the words, "Falun Dafa is good;" "Truth-Compassion-Tolerance is good" on them. She also urged me to send righteous thoughts before handing out the flyers. She has a bachelor's degree but no work experience, so I was only able to help her find a job that paid 700 Yuan a month. She kept 100 Yuan for food, 50 Yuan for mobile phone expenses, 50 Yuan for bus tickets, and gave me 500 Yuan to make Falun Gong materials. Another practitioner was supposed to be paid 1,000 Yuan a month, but her boss often paid her only 500 Yuan. Even then it was often delayed. We were pinched financially and did not spend a single penny on snacks or extraneous things.
I had lived a comfortable lifestyle prior to the persecution and realized it was not right for us to live in abject poverty. When studying "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A" I saw these words, "But true improvements come from letting go, not from gaining."
I looked inward and saw that we were attached to material interest. When adding ink to the printer and a little ink got on the drum that was thus wasted, we would be upset for a long time. When we printed the wrong page of an article we would complain that we had wasted paper. Did we really give up attachments to material interest? When I adjusted my mentality and remained unmoved by money the situation changed--the other practitioner found a job at a bank, and I was promoted to a better paying position.
After we had distributed materials in all the districts that can be reached by bike, my workplace started to transfer people to a branch office in another area. I thought, "It'd be great if I can be transferred away so I can rescue people there." I was indeed transferred there and in charge of all affairs. I was so busy for the job that I didn't have much time to study the Fa for about a month. When I called another practitioner to discuss this issue, he said to me, "Are you still trying to create some kind of legacy for yourself in this world?" His words startled me, and I instantly realized that I was not regarding Dafa as top priority, and my starting point was off.
I corrected my view and left home to distribute materials once a week and would send righteous thoughts beforehand. Within six months I had covered all the regions I could reach. I also explained the facts to people during recruitment training sessions [at work].
By the time I left the workplace, everyone in my department had quit the Communist Party, and some employees in our affiliated company also learned the truth and quit the Party. Yet, many other people had not heard the truth, which means I did not do a very good job. I looked inward and, besides fear, I discovered my mindset was not pure. I was doing the three things as if completing an assignment. It was in selfish pursuit of my consummation instead of truly, selflessly rescuing sentient beings with compassion.
Another company hired me as a manager. I experienced the temptation of money, hypocrisy among colleagues, and boldface lies when presenting their achievements. I maintained a righteous attitude and conducted myself according to Dafa's requirement.
When I saw other managers giving up virtue and exchange it for karma with any means possible, I truly pitied them because they were hurting themselves without knowing it. Regardless of what they had done to me, I acted as if nothing had happened and still helped them to the best of my ability and coordinated work as much as I could. After a while, their animosity toward me disappeared, and some of them quit the Party.
One day, a colleague reported me to our boss' wife, saying I practice Falun Gong. The boss' wife, originally from Hong Kong, called me. I thought, "I never get the chance to talk to her, this is a great opportunity!" I explained [my cultivation] to her and she said, "That's your belief. I won't get involved, because it's not within my rights to interfere with your belief. It's ok as long as you don't affect other employees and your work."
Soon, I talked to our boss about how I had benefited from practicing Falun Gong; how the Communist Party brutally persecuted the Chinese people through numerous political movements; the inevitable disintegration of the Party, and the significance of the movement for withdrawal from the Party. He listened attentively for more than one hour and nodded from time to time. In the end he said, "The Chinese government is too corrupt. I joined the Party back in college, but when I started working, I realized the Communist Party members are terrible, so I quit." He also agreed for me to publish an announcement for him to withdraw from the Party.
We must truly improve ourselves to fully utilize the environment Master has created for us, to help us improve. After I began working, I was able to live in an apartment with Internet access and produce truth-materials without any interruption. None of it could have been done without Master's protection. Now, when an employee comes to me, I do my best to rescue him. I openly discuss Falun Gong at conferences. After one group of employees had quit the Party, another group came to me and I would not let go of a single predestined person. After work I squeezed in time to produce truth clarification materials for practitioners whose conditions do not permit them to do so.
With efforts from practitioners around the world and with the progress of Fa rectification, the environment somewhat relaxed. Once our financial status improved, some practitioners developed attachments to comfort, or in different degrees to fame and fortune. We can again live together with our families, but we developed heavy emotional ties. Cultivation is difficult, because we cannot let changes in external conditions tug at our heartstrings.
Sending righteous thoughts and keeping up with Fa rectification requirements
When Master first told us to send righteous thoughts in 2001 I did not know how to do it. Master said,
"This is why we have to be pure when we send forth righteous thoughts." ("Fa-Lecture at the Conference in Florida, U.S.A.")
I realized I must first think of myself as an incomparably powerful divine being. When I instruct my supernormal powers via one single thought, the effect is immediate. The most important thing is to maintain a pure mind. I persisted for a while and in my dreams often saw squadrons of soldiers looking for me or coming after me. For some reason, I could not remember then to send righteous thoughts and I simply thought, "They are sentient beings too, perhaps I don't have to kill them." Then I was scared awake. I decided the next time I saw the evil I would resolutely eliminate them with righteous thoughts. I also tried to figure out what state of mind is the best and most righteous. Then I read the article "Righteous Thoughts" and I sent righteous thoughts, according to the requirements.
After a while I lapsed into a state as if I was completing a task and unsure if my righteous thoughts had any real effect. Once in my dream, someone chased after me, wielding a knife. I shouted, "Help!" while running as fast as I could. Everyone around me was indifferent, and no one even looked at me. He was about to catch up to me when I suddenly remembered that only pure thoughts work. I closed my eyes and forgot about the dangers threatening my body and held the thought, "The Fa rectifies the cosmos, the evil is completely eliminated." The knife-wielder instantly exploded and shattered into pieces. I knew Master was teaching me how to send righteous thoughts.
Sending righteous thoughts is one of the three things Master has asked us to do. This incident made me aware of their importance. Now I know how to intensify the effect of sending righteous and am very confident.
As Fa rectification pushes forward Master has repeatedly asked us to send righteous thoughts as a whole body, to eliminate the evil. As a Fa rectification period Dafa disciple, we are required to join the activity to send righteous thoughts four times a day. It is our mission, so we must keep up. I shared my righteous thoughts experience because I hope other practitioners will take it seriously and live up to the title, "Fa rectification Dafa disciples." Yesterday I watched the video, "Lecture to Australian Practitioners." It was the first time I saw Master on tape since the persecution began, and I could not hold back my tears.
Looking back on eight years of storms, I still have many gaps and notions to varying extents. Sometimes I validated myself without knowing it. I felt happy when members of the opposite sex pursued me; I had a deeply embedded pursuit of personal interest; pursuit of a nice lifestyle; an ego that prevented me from looking inward; lack of compassion toward my ex-husband's family; dependence on diligent practitioners and attachment to comfort, among others. I know very well I need to unhesitatingly whittle away at these thoughts. Writing this article made me learn how to look inward. I discovered the gap between diligent practitioners and me, and saw even more clearly my cultivation state. Please point out anything inappropriate.