(Clearwisdom.net) I would like to talk about how in the past year I was able to walk away from the lowest point of my life, how with the help of fellow practitioners I was able to eliminate selfishness and fear and to melt into the "one body" of practitioners. I would also like to talk about things I've personally witnessed and use this opportunity to praise tens of millions of future enlightened beings--my fellow practitioners.
Fellow Practitioners Help Me Cultivate Away My Mentality of Fear
One day this year I was overcome with suffocating fear after learning that the police had seized my sister. I went home to quickly transfer truth-clarification materials. I then went to our material production site and sent a notice to Minghui/Clearwisdom to report my sister's abduction.
I ran into technical problems trying to access the Internet because I was irritable, nervous, and scared. I realized that that was not the state of mind of a cultivator, but I could not control myself.
I calmed myself and sat down to send forth righteous thoughts. Late that night, my thoughts were stirred deeply. The persecution I had experienced over the past ten years played out before my eyes just like a movie. Deep fear crept into my veins. I was really scared that someone would knock on my door at any moment. There were sounds of footsteps in the hallway, and I kept feeling the suffocating pain. Following that, I developed symptoms of oxygen depletion and an excruciating headache. I thought about my sister and what a kind person she is, and about the persecution my family had experienced over the past ten years. Tears kept rolling down my cheeks.
After my sister was illegally arrested, fellow practitioners in both the local and outlying areas actively took the initiative to rescue her. My mother and I went to a public security bureau about 60 miles from our home. However, officers at the Domestic Security Division lied to us, saying that my sister was transferred to a local public security office, so we rushed to the public security office, which was another 60 miles away. Each office tried to direct us back to the other, so we did not know where my sister had been taken. The weather was hot and the trip was long. I developed anxiety and other various human attachments. I felt emotionally and physically exhausted.
A few days later, I learned that my sister was being held in a detention center. However, I did not have strong righteous thoughts. As a result, I encountered conflicts and tribulations. I had to borrow money in order to travel in and out of town. In more than ten years, I was then at the lowest point of my cultivation. I could not eat, nor could I sleep at night. I was not able to keep my job. What was even worse was I did not study the Fa or practice the exercises for several days in a row. I had never been like that since I began practicing cultivation more than ten years ago. I also had a disagreement with my younger sister about how to rescue our sister. Then someone stole my purse and I lost more than 100 yuan that I had borrowed from someone. I did not even have the money to travel back home. I felt the evil was trying to make me go crazy by having so many different things go wrong at once, I felt the evil was trying to destroy me.
On my way home, my mother said, "Mothers and daughters' hearts are connected. I'm supposed to be the one hardest hit by this. However, my heart is not moved like yours. Your sister is a Dafa practitioner and Teacher is looking after her. If she has strong righteous thoughts, she will not endure whatever she is not supposed to endure, so don't worry about her. In addition, everyday there are so many fellow practitioners who are taken away by police across the country. How come you do not cry everyday for them? Isn't it because you think of her as your sister, someone part of your family? If you suffered this much whenever other practitioners were arrested, you might not have been able to live till now. The reason for your sadness is simply that you only care about your sister, and you do not care about others. You are so selfish. Also, how can you rescue people while in this kind of unstable state? The evil will magnify your attachment to your sister and wear down your will and energy. The more sentimental you are, the more tribulations the evil will inflict upon your sister. When you return home, hurry up and adjust your mentality. Calm your mind and study the Fa. Do not let up in going out to clarify the truth."
My mother's peacefulness, selflessness, and compassion calmed my anxiety and my pain. I felt calmer and more clearheaded. Only by strictly following Teacher's requirements to do the three things can we disintegrate the evil's persecution to save sentient beings and rescue practitioners in custody.
After returning home I transcribed Teacher's article "Thoroughly Dissolve the Evil" and repeatedly recited it until I was able to memorize it. I also quietly studied Teacher's other scriptures. My main consciousness finally pulled itself together. The next day, I started clarifying the truth to people around me on my way to rescue my sister. I described the persecution of my sister and talked all the way. Initially, people did not really accept me. After talking to them for almost two hours, they completely accepted the truth about Falun Dafa and happily withdrew from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations.
Mother's calm and selflessness helped me to let go of selfishness and affection for my sister. I took the initiative to visit the Domestic Security Division, clarifying the truth to the officers that had seized my sister. I talked about how Falun Dafa practitioners are kindhearted people and how wicked the CCP has been in its many [political] movements in the past. I told them that I did not treat them like police and they should not treat me like a dissident. It was for their own good that I clarified the truth to them. When they carried out their supervisors' orders to handle Falun Dafa practitioners' cases, it was their choice whether they handled practitioners humanely or brutally. I said, "Someday things are going to be different, so it's better to leave a way out for yourself." One of them replied that his job was just a tool and nothing more.
By doing this, I was able to advise many people to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations on my way there and back. In front of a public security bureau, I successfully advised three people to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. Everyday I was able to advise more people, including two guards in a detention center, to quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations.
Fellow Practitioners Help Me Cultivate Away the Mentality of Fear
This year several practitioners around me were arrested by the local police, and I got scared. I started to act alone and gradually lost the sense of the "one body." A practitioner from out of town shared her thoughts with me, "What are you afraid of? Didn't Teacher clearly tell Dafa practitioners that the evil is finished. Aren't you scaring yourself?" Indeed, the evil is finished. But why did I still think the evil was keeping an eye on me? I did not believe in Teacher's words--so, who else did I believe in? As soon as my true thoughts emerged, my fear disappeared.
The mentality of fear seriously interfered with me a few years ago. I could not imagine that I would be involved with producing truth-clarification materials. A fellow practitioner shared her understandings with me many times: "We are Teacher's veteran disciples. If we don't walk in the most dangerous zone, who else will? We cannot waste Teacher's efforts to guide us. Now Fa-rectification needs us to do this. After Fa-rectification ends, you won't have the chance to do it even if you want to. Don't miss this good opportunity to save people. What's to be afraid of? Teacher is next to us."
With fellow practitioners' help, I established a home-based truth-clarification material production site. The day before the Beijing Olympics began, a piece of equipment broke down while I was confined to home for almost two hours because of police surveillance. A few days later, I was still entrenched in the shadow of fear. One night I took two little fellow practitioners to another practitioner's home to have the equipment repaired. Before we left, I told them not to speak and not to call me mom when we went out. It was very dark when we got out of the car. At that moment I was overcome by suffocating fear.
I suddenly thought of that fellow practitioners' words: "Teacher is by our side." Teacher has told his disciples that his fashen is always with us. There are also the celestial soldiers and generals and the righteous gods who assist Teacher in the Fa-rectification. Why did I keep thinking about the evil wanting to persecute me, keeping an eye on me, and following me? Why didn't I think about Teacher being with me. With Teacher by my side, could the evil dare to come near me? Only when I did something that did not conform with the Fa did the power of the Fa not manifest. What I'm doing now is the most sacred thing. Teacher is by our side and always with us. Once my righteous thoughts emerged, the illusion of fear disintegrated instantly. Since then, I have never felt scared when I have gone to fellow practitioners' homes to repair equipment or to share understandings.
Fellow Practitioners Help Me Break Through Tribulations
The persecution during the past ten years has made me experience so much pain and sadness. One day one practitioner was said to have been persecuted, and the next day another was persecuted. Sometimes I would hear the news of fellow practitioners being tortured to death. So my heart was struck over and over again. Even though I felt extremely tormented by the news, I usually passed it on to fellow practitioners as soon as possible so that we could start rescue efforts. Whenever I was down and disappointed, it was fellow practitioners' steadfast will that motivated me to quickly walk away from that low point in my life.
After learning that my cultivation state was not good, a fellow practitioner looked at me and said, "Cultivation is serious. Don't mix in any human attachments." Before she left, she added, "Did you
hear me? Don't slack off." I nodded several times. If I failed to fulfill the prehistoric vow of assisting Teacher in the Fa-rectification, not only would I have deceived Teacher, I would be ashamed to face every practitioner who cares about me.
A few years ago I was entangled by the affection of being a married couple. I indulged in ordinary people's state. A fellow practitioner came to help me untie the knot in my heart. When I complained, she always said, "Something is not right with you. Is ordinary people's happiness what a cultivator seeks? Things of the human world are backward when viewed from higher realms. Hurry up and let it go."
For a long time I was not able to break out from that state. One time a fellow practitioner said to me seriously, "Have you thought about what fellow practitioners are doing at this moment? What should you do? Compared to practitioners who cultivate well, you are pitiful." She left after finishing these words. It was a wake up call to me and I was stunned. I asked myself what I was doing. I had been desperately pursuing human things to no avail. Consequently, I suffered and was exhausted. I'm far from meeting the requirements Teacher has talked about in his lectures.
Fellow Practitioners' Selfless Dedication Shines Through the Universe
In order for operations at various truth-clarification material production sites to run smoothly, fellow practitioners around me usually volunteered to donate money. One practitioner's family was poor. However she was able to save up some money from her living expenses. She scraped and scraped, and whenever she had 50 or 100 yuan she asked me to give it to a truth-clarification material production site. She wore clothes that were several years old. I once suggested that she buy some new clothes because we did not need to worry about money for the truth-clarification material production site at that time. Nevertheless, she still made the donation. Practitioners who are more affluent consistently donate over ten thousand yuan. Not only do they ensure the regular operation of the local truth-clarification material production sites, they also help the neighboring areas.
There is also another practitioner who has been destitute for many years. Her family is not in a good financial situation, relying only on her husband's meager income. For several years, she has not purchased new clothes and has been wearing her sisters' hand-me-downs. Her children were unable to get whatever they wanted. They have learned to live simply. However, this practitioner still donates money to practitioners who are persecuted and also to their family members. She contributes money to truth-clarification material production sites by the thousands. She thinks about others even though she is not living comfortably. Her large, selfless heart shines like gold.
My sister's two children are attending college. The high tuition costs created a huge burden on our family after she was sentenced to serve forced labor. A couple, who are both practitioners, learned about this and promised to lend us ten thousand yuan on the spot. She also cited another practitioner said, "These young practitioners are not just the children of a single person, they are everyone's children. With so many fellow practitioners around, we will not let these children drop out of school." Mother told me later that my father never shed a tear after my sister was arrested, but he cried upon seeing fellow practitioners' selfless help. In this day and age, who makes contributions without a personal motive--only Dafa practitioners.
Inspired by Practitioners' Cultivating as if They Were Just Starting
Whenever I slacked off, I intensified Fa-study and also shared experiences with fellow practitioners. Sometimes a statement made by a fellow practitioner could dissolve something I was attached to. Practitioners' will to cultivate as if they were just starting has really inspired me to be more diligent and helped me to deepen my understanding of Teacher's poem:
"Study Fa, obtain Fa,
Compare in studying,
compare in cultivating,
Examine each and every deed,
Accomplishing is cultivating." ("Solid Cultivation" from Hong Yin)
A couple who are both practitioners faithfully get up at around 3 a.m. to practice the exercises. The wife is especially diligent about sending forth righteous thoughts four times a day at the top of the designated hours. She told about one time when she stayed at a friend's home, she did not set the alarm clock and overslept. It was past 1 a.m. when she woke up, and she regretted it so much. She sat up right away and sent forth righteous thoughts to make up for the one she had missed. She said that she made up her mind to work hard to let everyone in a certain village quit the CCP. There's also a practitioner in her 80s who sat and waited from 10 p.m until midnight to send forth righteous thoughts before she went to bed.
Every time I see fellow practitioners' will to strive forward to be diligent, I gain more confidence. In this way, fellow practitioners and I compare in studying and compare in cultivating on my cultivation path of trial and hardship.
Little Fellow Practitioners' Righteous Thoughts Inspire Me
Zhenzhen (alias) is a three-year-old little practitioner. She obtained the Fa when she was in her mother's womb. When her mother was five to six months pregnant, she developed a strange illness that the doctors could not do anything about it. The mother's internal organs hurt terribly. She also had cramping, which is a sign of miscarriage. She was unable to sit, lie down, or walk. The only thing she could do to feel any relief was to kneel down. Therefore she was on her knees day and night. When she was tired, she lay her hands on a bed with her face down and slept in a kneeling position.
A practitioner clarified the truth to her and she started on the path of cultivation. Her illness disappeared shortly afterward, and several months later Zhenzhen was born. Zhenzhen began listening to Teacher's Fa with her mother when she was less than one month old. She usually did not cry or make other noises. Whenever she did cry or make noise, she would quiet down as soon as someone played the audio tapes of Teacher's lectures. Zhenzhen's grandpa worshiped foxes and yellow weasels, and was against her mother's Falun Dafa practice. He stole and defiled Teacher's photo. Zhenzhen was only several months old at the time. She looked at the spot where Teacher's photo had been and cried. Zhenzhen's father was very worried and tried very hard to finally get Teacher's photo. When Zhenzhen saw Teacher's photo, she just smiled and smiled. This experience inspired Zhenzhen's aunt, who used to be deeply poisoned by the CCP, to start practicing Falun Dafa. Zhenzhen's grandma and her family also took up the cultivation path. When Zhenzhen started walking, she would stand before Teacher's photo, go down on her knees, and press her palms together to pay respect to Teacher.
Zhenzhen's mother said that for a while she was tired from working very hard and therefore slacked off in Fa-study. She was not able to maintain her xinxing. One time Zhenzhen put her arms around mother's neck and said seriously, "Mama, Falun Dafa is good! Falun Dafa is good!" Zhenzhen's mother said that was Teacher's hint for her to study the Fa well and not slack off.
Another three-year-old practitioner, Ningning, would turn off the TV whenever the CCP's logo or pictures were on. If other little children were present, he would switch to another channel and tell them not to listen to the national anthem because it was harmful and because the CCP just killed and harmed people.
When Ningning was about to graduate from kindergarten, he told his mother seriously, "I'm leaving kindergarten. I want to share a secret with my teacher and good friends." His mother asked him what secret, and he said, "I want to tell them why I'm an obedient child and why I don't bully my friends. I have a healthy body and I don't take even one pill. It's because I practice Falun Dafa."
After Ningning attended elementary school, every Monday he would beg to wear the truth-clarification amulet(1). His mother wouldn't let him for fear that his teacher and classmates would see it. Ningning begged and said, "Mother, ordinarily I wouldn't wear it. But I want to wear it on Mondays, because my school raises the CCP's bloody flag on Mondays and plays its song. I stand there and recite, 'The Fa rectifies the cosmos, the evil is completely eliminated.' I want the amulet to help me."
When I heard his story, I felt my whole world and life were shaken. I thought to myself: "Little fellow practitioner, you don't need help from an amulet. When you feel that you are not strong enough, all the righteous gods from heaven will help you." That little practitioner always takes the initiative to cleanse [the bad elements] whenever he sees the CCP logo. He could not tear up the [CCP] books [in school], so he put an X on the book. The little practitioners' words and actions represent their thoughts. They have constantly inspired my righteous thoughts and motivated me to be more diligent.
Two days before my sister was illegally transferred to another location, I went to see her with her children. On the way my niece, who is a practitioner, said, "When I see my mother, I'll tell her that she must be strong and walk every step well in an open and dignified manner." I told her that her mother's righteous thoughts have resisted the police's interrogation and protected truth-clarification material production sites and fellow practitioners.
When my niece saw her mother, she cried and told her mother how she was doing in school. She also told her mother to take good care of herself and not to worry about their home. In the end, she added, "Mother, you must walk a righteous path." My sister understood her in her heart and touched my niece's face.
After hearing my niece's words, I no longer shed tears for my affection for my sister. There are so many little practitioners like my niece who have suffered the pain of being separated from family members and yet still maintained righteous thoughts. No matter how harsh or difficult it is, they have the strong conviction that they are walking a righteous path. The great Fa has forged tens of millions of indestructible Dafa disciples.
Looking back on my decade-long cultivation path filled with all of its ups and downs, for every tribulation, I have resolutely walked shoulder to shoulder on the path of godhood with fellow practitioners. Tens of millions of great, future enlightened beings have constantly walked with me, and I therefore have never felt lonely or helpless. Fellow practitioners urged me to strive forward when I slacked off. When I had strong attachments, fellow practitioners untied the knots in my heart. When I was confused, fellow practitioners' righteous thoughts and actions made me see the light of dawn.
Note:
(1) Amulets - In China, practitioners sometimes "clarify the truth" by giving people something small to wear or cherish, bearing a few words reminding them of the goodness of Dafa.
