(Clearwisdom.net)
Revered Master! Fellow practitioners!
I began my cultivation in 1998. After the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started persecuting Falun Gong in July 1999 I was imprisoned many times and my home was ransacked many times.
Because of the length of time I was persecuted, my family suffered a lot. With great pressure from the CCP, they didn't want me to continue practicing. Some fellow practitioners did not want to contact me and people from my workplace were also afraid to be seen with me. Facing so many problems, I needed to figure out how to resolve them so that I could continue practicing Falun Dafa.
1. Breaking free of human notions
After reading many articles on the Minghui website [Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net], I discovered my tendency to use human notions to look at cultivation and the persecution. I lacked faith and understanding of the power of the Fa. Actually, many gods, Buddhas, and Daos are in Zhuan Falun to help us, the Fa can protect us, and Master's fashen can protect us too. I was persecuted for a long time because I did not understand Dafa correctly. In critical moments I did not ask Master for help, and I did not remember the things Master had said. Now I understand that I need to give up all my human notions; and that to study the Fa well one must have a quiet mind.
2. Letting go of fear
Due to the many bad experiences I had, I was afraid I would be arrested, and constantly worried about whether I was being watched and whether my husband would get angry with me.
Through Fa study, I now understand that I am a practitioner on my way to becoming a god. I only need to follow what Master told me to do. Master has rearranged my life and is in charge of my life.
The persecution was arranged by the old forces and they use the CCP to carry it out. These arrangements are not acceptable to Master or practitioners. We must use righteous thoughts to remove this interference. With this correct understanding I send forth righteous thoughts and it works very well. Now almost all my fears are gone.
3. Looking inward to cultivate oneself
In the past my character improved very slowly. I thought I had no attachments but I could see other people's attachments very clearly.
Later, I read in "Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference," the following question and answer:
"Disciple: 'The old forces want to achieve the goal of what they want to reach.' What does that mean?
Teacher: The goal they want to reach is that they want to restore the cosmos in Fa-rectification back to the way it was before Fa-rectification, back to that system of theirs--still their mountains, still their water, still their Gods, and still the states they were in before. They did things in that way, so they don't want to make changes. The change they want is to have the surface appearance be better, just like washing a soiled piece of clothing clean. It's still the same piece of old clothing. Well, that's the meaning, but the analogy isn't totally accurate. That's the only way to describe it. They just want to, on the basis of not losing anything they originally had, through their careful arrangements, be able to cleverly dodge this catastrophe. But that will never happen. That's what they wanted. I have denied them from the very beginning; otherwise, even though they didn't mean to destroy all of this they would have."
It tells me that whether others change or not is irrelevant. The real issue is that I should check to see whether I am in line with the Fa. I don't want to compare myself with ordinary people or practitioners. As I conduct myself this way, my environment changes noticeably. I am getting along much better with fellow practitioners. Furthermore, I am able to help other practitioners correct their mistakes or solve problems they have, instead of just pointing fingers at them.
In the past, when I thought a fellow practitioner made a mistake, I would try to avoid that person. Actually, I made many mistakes myself but Master did not give up on me. Why should I be so choosy? Now, I recognize that everyone can make mistakes, and the proper thing to do is to help the person correct his mistakes. If a direct approach is not appropriate, I send forth righteous thoughts to help remove the interference that my fellow practitioner may have. It turns out that this approach is truly helpful.
4. After I changed, my family environment changed too
I am an open-minded person and like to speak loudly. I am capable and wanted to be recognized for my abilities. Only recently did I realize that this was an attachment. For a long time my husband did not want me to speak so loudly and forced me to keep my mouth shut. After I looked inward, I realized that if I spoke in a gentle tone and did not have an expected outcome, my husband would react positively. Master said in "Sober-Minded" in Essentials for Further Advancement,
"I have not only taught you Dafa, but also left you my demeanor. While working, your tone of voice, your kindheartedness, and your reasoning can change a person's heart, whereas commands never can! If others are not convinced in their hearts but only superficially comply, they will still conduct themselves according to their own will when no one is around to see them."
I realized that what I say and do are not the only important things; how I present my reasoning should also align with the Fa. After I changed my attitude in this regard, my husband began to listen to me. He is now willing to listen to me when I talk to him about Falun Gong. Of course, I must not overdo it. Otherwise, he feels that he is being pushed. I can see that as I change, he also changes.
I have also found that cultivation requires not only looking inward but also correctly identifying my attachments. There was a period when my husband refused to listen to me tell him Dafa principles. Later, I understood that it was because I was a bit pushy in my presentation and liked to argue hard for my case. As an ordinary person, he was very sensitive to winning an argument regardless of whether he was right or wrong. I should understand this point and not talk about it until he was in the mood to listen. Moreover, he is the leader of a group and not used to listening to viewpoints that are different from his own. In the process I found that I did not want to listen to counter arguments either. Recognizing this attachment, I released it and my husband changed also.
Without these competitive attachments, it is much easier to clarify the facts about Dafa. Currently, almost everyone I talk to is willing to quit the Party. I understand that every tribulation is for improving my character, which makes me better at saving sentient beings.
Now my husband has started to study the Fa and so have many of my relatives. All my family members are supportive of Dafa and my efforts. They help me distribute Falun Gong materials.
When one's character reaches a higher level, cultivation seems simple and easy. I truly feel that cultivation and Dafa are great!
