(Clearwisdom.net) During a period of time in 2004, some fellow practitioners suspected that I was a secret agent for the CCP. They all told each other to not to get in touch with me. I could not even get copies of "Minghui Weekly" anymore. I was very angry about it, fell into a very lonely state, and could not get motivated to do the three things well. One time during group Fa study, I again mentioned it. An elderly fellow practitioner immediately said to me that I needed to look inward. Those words were like a stick that hit my brain, and I suddenly realized it.
Hasn't Master talked many times about the need to look inside oneself? I carefully studied Master's Fa on this topic and found some of my shortcomings. I was not looking at things based on the Fa. When I shared with fellow practitioners about certain issues, I had a competitive mentality instead of a compassionate mind. I made over 20 suggestions to this fellow practitioner, which created a large gap between us. Also, I should not have come in late and left early during a Fa conference. One other thing was that, because I had only recently moved here from another region, when a fellow practitioner was arrested, other practitioners suspected that I was the one who had reported him. This made me very angry, but it shouldn't have. Once I pinpointed these issues, I began to use Dafa as the criteria to evaluate my speech and actions, using a compassionate mind to share with other practitioners. I admitted my shortcomings to them, and they were relieved of their suspicions of me. We are now all working together and coordinating with each other to do the three things well.
Before the Chinese New Year last year, I got angry at my children and got into an argument with my daughter. My daughter would sometimes get very unhappy and say, "Yes, you are good at everything and are the best at everything ..." Also, I would get upset at my wife over petty things. Often it would reach the point that we could no longer study the Fa nor do the exercises together. When conflicts arose, I was not looking at myself but instead was criticizing my wife for not looking inward and criticizing her for not progressing diligently. I just wouldn't use this key of looking inwards to unlock the locks in my own mind. Just like that, I started to behave just like an ordinary person. When my personal interests were infringed upon, I would get upset, and when others disagreed with me, I would get angry. I was not using the Fa as the standard for measuring and correcting my actions. I ran into tribulations and was very troubled. Sometimes I could not even set aside time to study the Fa. Due to my cultivation state, evil things also used it as an excuse to get into my body. Sometimes my teeth would hurt and sometimes my wrists. My legs got, weaker and when I walked, I often bumped into things and fell down.
Master has again and again emphasized looking inwards when we encounter problems. Why wasn't I looking inside of myself? Was this true cultivation? After a while, I calmed down to look inside myself. I found the attachment of selfishness. I found that I was not cultivating my speech. I acted the way ordinary parents would act. I had the mentality of showing off and thought that I was good at everything.
Once I found these issues, I at once began to expose and eliminate them. I had to get rid of these bad thoughts and mentalities. I read Master's "Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference." Master said,
"So, when you meet with ordeals, it is the perfect opportunity for you to improve. If you are able to look inside, that trying situation will become instead an opportunity, something to overcome and a chance to enter a new state."
After reading it, my mind became clear once again and all the problems I had were resolved. I could once again live peacefully with my children and urge them to practice Dafa. I could once again cooperate well with my wife and we could do the three things well together.
Before the Chinese New Year, I bought hundreds of dollars worth of different kinds of desserts, fruits, and alcohol, and my wife and I went to her hometown to see her aunts and uncles. We talked to them for a day and half about the persecution of Falun Dafa and gave them many Dafa materials. As a result, seven people used their real names to quit the Chinese Communist Party. We then went to my hometown. In a little more than ten days, a total of 55 people, including my family as well as friends and neighbors, quit the Party.
In the process of cultivation, when issues surface, we should not look at others. We must look inside. We need to study the Fa more, eliminate our human notions, reinforce our divine sides, and use the Fa to correct our wrongdoings. This way, problems will be resolved. This is how one can progress diligently.
