(Clearwisdom.net) Two years ago, several practitioners in our region were illegally arrested and sentenced. The environment became horrible and stressful. Whenever I left my home, I felt that I was being watched and followed. I also felt that my home phone was monitored. Because I didn't study the Fa deeply enough, I viewed it from a human perspective and became fearful. I was afraid of being arrested and that I might not be able to withstand the torture and give up my cultivation, that I might fall down in levels after betraying Dafa and Teacher, and that the persecution against me would cast a big shadow on my family. At that time, I was afraid whenever I saw a policeman. I locked myself at home, doing Fa study and the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts by myself. I would not meet with fellow practitioners or have any contact with others, and stopped clarifying the truth about Falun Dafa and saving sentient beings. The old forces took advantage of my gap, and I encountered many physical challenges. As the tribulations increased, I was not able to eat, sleep, study the Fa, or do the exercises, and I lost a significant amount of weight.
I suffered depression and was under great pressure for two years. During that time, many practitioners came to my home and helped me to understand the Fa. Finally, I started to participate in a group Fa study earlier this year. At first, I was still afraid and sometimes felt that I was being followed. My heart would jump whenever I heard police sirens.
With continuous Fa study and fellow practitioners' help, I gradually understood more and more of the Fa and increased my righteous thoughts. Meanwhile, I kept looking inward and realized that my fear was actually about the loss of my personal interests. The fear was my own selfishness trying to protect itself. The goal of our cultivation is to become altruistic, enlightened beings. We walk on the divine path of Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples. If we hide or withdraw whenever we hear that something bad will happen, how can we be worthy of the title of "Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple?" How can we take our place in the new universe? How can we protect the sentient beings in our universe?
Gradually my fear was eliminated. I participated in group Fa-study openly and never felt that I was being monitored or followed. Now I join group Fa-study daily. I also clarify the truth about Falun Dafa to people and help them to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations, whether I know them or they're strangers.
I want to state sincerely to those practitioners who have not come forward or dare not come forward: Please let go of your human attachments. Come out and join group Fa study. As you walk into the group Fa study environment, you will feel your xinxing rise quickly, because this is the cultivation path that Teacher has given us. One thought may make you a god or a human. Don't let this thought stand in your way of becoming a divine being, or you will regret it for millions of years. Actually, Teacher has already set up everything on our path; it's up to us to walk the walk. I really regret that my fear led me off track, following the old forces' arrangement. It was truly as Teacher said, "should attachments be too heavy, bearings will be lost" ("Self-Evident is the Heart," from Hong Yin, Volume II). I regret that I returned too late and wasted precious time and opportunities to save people.
Fellow practitioners, when you remove yourselves from the old forces' leash, when you participate in group Fa study and share your understanding, when you clarify the truth to people and help them to quit the CCP, when people thank you after learning the facts from you, when you see more and more people being saved, your joy will be indescribable. In the final period, let us follow closely Teacher's Fa-rectification progress, save more people, and be worthy of Teacher's expectations for saving sentient beings.
Please kindly point out my shortcomings. Heshi.