(Clearwisdom.net) More than half of my family members are Dafa cultivators. Since we are all cultivators, we should have less conflicts, but my father and my sister-in-law, who are both practitioners, have an intense relationship. As a family member and fellow practitioner, I was very anxious and tried to talk to them to improve their relationship. However, my efforts were in vain because it only had a temporary effect. During mediation, I always felt that they didn't do well, especially my father, because they didn't behave themselves according to the Fa's requirements.
Besides my family issue, as a coordinator in my area, I was also worried about other issues in our local area. Some fellow practitioners were arrested, some deviated from the Fa as a result of their attachments and some showed symptoms of illness. At that time, I often thought of Master's words:
"It would be good if they could manage to search within themselves for the things that they have been able to find in others." ("A Dialogue with Time" in Essentials for Further Advancement)
I realized that Master was giving me a hint and pointing out that I didn't do well in looking inward. I should look inward without any conditions when encountering any issue and truly maintain righteous thoughts. I was worried about my family members' conflicts and always thought they didn't act according to the Fa's principles. I didn't think from their perspectives or take responsibility for them.
When I was able to understand my father and my sister-in-law from their perspective, I improved my xinxing and left no loopholes for the evil to take advantage of. Soon, their relationship improved.
At that time, Master also arranged an opportunity for me to share experiences with fellow practitioners. We had a small experience-sharing conference in our area, and I saw my attachments more clearly. I felt a lot of regret in looking back at my attachments.
For years, under the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) culture, I always felt proud when I found and pointed out others' shortcomings. Since it seems I have done pretty well in ordinary society, I have been very attached to my own opinions. If there are differences in opinions from fellow practitioners, I always persist in my own opinions, at least in my mind. Master has given a lot of care for me to get rid of this attachment.
I carried this attachment and persisted in my own opinions when communicating with fellow practitioners who had once deviated from the Fa, whom I thought were not in the right state of cultivation, or who I thought had attachments. I always felt that they were wrong. For example, there is a practitioner who is attached to seeking higher understandings of the Fa principles. I thought that he would affect other practitioners, so I often talked to him with other practitioners and pointed out his attachment directly. He could not accept our advice. Later, in order for him to accept my opinions, I would talk to him more indirectly such as talking about my own experiences. However, my pursuit was to change him and I wanted him to accept my understandings. I never thought about changing myself first and always thought that he was wrong.
Master has talked about the issue of not looking inward many times. However, I never deeply looked inward to find my own attachment. Master said,
"When there is something wrong with an assistant, the responsibility he must bear for it is for sure greater, and you all know that. Master has countless Law Bodies who look after these things, and they will definitely not let his problems or opportunities for improvement go unattended to. But if you are overly attached to his problems, your problems will themselves be exposed through the affair, and you will be made to see your own problems through the affair; and this might lead to his problem not being resolved for the time being as a result of your attachment not having been removed. And if yet more people are mobilized and get involved in it, then all right--all of your problems will be exposed through it for you all to see. Such things will happen. It's not that problems should go unresolved, and it's not that Master's Law Bodies aren't going to address them." ("Fa Teaching at the 2007 New York Fa Conference")
Through studying the Fa and sharing with fellow practitioners, I truly see how those practitioners who solidly cultivate themselves always accept others' views and think of others with compassion. Their understanding and forgiveness deeply moved me and made me see the gaps I have.
The above is just my own understanding. Please point out anything improper.