(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings, Master! Greetings, Fellow Practitioners!
I obtained the Fa after I came to the United States in 1997. Under our great Master's merciful protection, I have walked on my cultivation path for over twelve years. Looking back at my cultivation journey, I realize that each step of upgrading my cultivation is integrated with Master's great sacrifice. Therefore, I doubly cherish the great mercy and Buddha's infinite grace, which never previously occurred since the creation of the world. I would like to share my experiences on the road of Fa-rectification cultivation over the past seven years in Washington DC. Please kindly point out anything improper.
1. Letting Go of Self and Walking My Own Path While Validating the Fa
In 2002, my family of four moved to Washington DC. Local practitioners told me that several Dafa media urgently needed reporters and advised me to help out since I did not work at that time and I could drive and speak English. However, I lacked self-confidence then. I felt rather introverted however and wasn't willing to be in the spotlight. I felt I wasn't good at communicating with strangers and that I had no experience with interviewing and knew nothing about producing television programs. Therefore, I excused myself by claiming to be busy with other projects. I later realized that it was not accidental that I came to Washington DC, and I realized that I should blend in with this cultivation environment, attach great value to the overall need and let go of my attachment to self. After taking this step, I realized that it wasn't as hard as I imagined after all.
The first time I went to report on a mainstream activity, I suddenly and unexpectedly felt sad and wanted to cry after arriving at the event. There were several hundred government officials at an evening banquet who had been difficult to contact to "clarify the truth" to about Falun Gong and the brutal persecution. A deep feeling of mercifulness filled my mind, and I wished in my heart that they could learn the truth as soon as possible. I really felt deep compassion that came from a pure heart and mercifulness without thinking of repayment. It was late at night when I got back home, and I groped to edit the news report. In the early morning hours, I successfully finished both the television news report and the newspaper report. It was only one night that I had spent to learn this complex and difficult task. I experienced the wonderfulness and supernormal powers of Falun Dafa.
With righteous belief in Master and Dafa, I have walked on the road of Fa-rectification cultivation for seven years. I went from knowing nothing about media operations to becoming a seasoned reporter. When we let go of self and think only of helping Master save sentient beings, Master will give us wisdom.
One time I went to report on a U.S. think-tank seminar. The theme that day was the rising of China. There were several hundred people in attendance, including other media reporters, diplomats from a number of countries, and U.S. policy makers. I couldn't help thinking that I must tell these people about the real China. At that time, the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party had been out for one year, and more than six million people had quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. When the question and answer session was announced, I raised my hand immediately. Although I sat in the back row, I was chosen to be the first to ask a question. I briefly introduced the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party published by The Epoch Times and then asked, "A moment ago, an expert said that the CCP is facing several crises, among which is an unpredictable crisis. Then, does the occurrence of those Chinese who are quitting the CCP and its affiliated organizations in China belong to this unpredictable crisis?" Several of the speakers obviously avoided this topic, but others showed definite interest. Regardless, they had to acknowledge that this was a good question. Unexpectedly, other reporters also raised questions about the crisis the CCP was facing.
On another occasion, the Polish President visited the White House. At that time, two fellow practitioners hoped to present the Polish version of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party to that President, but they lacked an opportunity to do so. By chance, a reporter from New Tang Dynasty Television and I were there that day. We asked his opinion on the trend of quitting the CCP and its organizations in China. Later, a Polish television reporter interviewed me and asked why I asked that question. I told the reporter that it was because all this is happening in today's China, and as your president said, "Poland's today is China's tomorrow."
A western practitioner once made an appointment with the Washington, DC Council president to interview him about a bill that just passed in the legislature. Arriving at his office, I thought that it would be great if I had a chance to clarify the truth about Falun Gong and its persecution to him. After the interview (before I could bring it up to him), he suddenly asked us what is Falun Gong. I told him the truth of Falun Dafa and the brutal persecution, and the atrocities that the CCP has perpetrated against fellow practitioners in China. After hearing this, the council president showed his anger toward the CCP's brutalities.
After giving up attachments, the road widened and became increasingly smooth, and I find more opportunities to meet people from various aspects of society. (This clarifying the truth face-to-face is also a valuable cooperation with and supplement to our fellow practitioners who do this kind of work.) Professional and timely reports also gain approval by non-practitioners for the media that Dafa practitioners run. Some of the activity hosts have presented The Epoch Times newspaper to other countries' embassy officials in the United States and to businessmen who attended the activities, which has allowed more people in mainstream society to become aware of our media. During these years, I have made many friends through my interviews. Many of these people have learned the truth to varying degrees, and many have watched the Shen Yun Performing Arts shows.
(2) Believing in Master and the Fa Helps Me Surmount All Ordeals
Along with doing things ever more smoothly, I unconsciously obtained an attachment to only doing that kind of work. I always wanted to attend more activities. Thus, I spent less time on studying the Fa, and it was sometimes difficult for me to concentrate when studying the Fa. I became lax in my Xinxing cultivation, which caused a loophole, and it was taken advantage of by the evil. One day in October 2003, as I walked on the street holding my over one-year-old baby, I unexpectedly fell down. The baby was thrown far away and his head hit the road hard. My legs were in excruciating pain, and I couldn't move. Several kindhearted passersby helped take us home.
The baby was fine, but my right anklebone was obviously fractured. The area below my knee was all swollen and bruised. At that time, I felt great pressure. On the one hand, I endured the severe pain. On the other hand, my media reporting activities were affected, and I became very anxious. The more anxious I was, the worse (rather than better) my condition became. Two weeks passed, my relatives who didn't cultivate urged me to go to a hospital. A fellow practitioner also suggested that I visit a Chinese medicine doctor. I couldn't conduct myself well with a steady mind. As a result, I went to a Chinese Medicine hospital. The Chinese Medicine doctor told me, after taking an X-ray, that he had never seen such a serious bone fracture. I was immediately alerted and came to understand.
After returning home, I made up my mind to stand up. I fell down several times, and several times I remained standing. I told myself, "I came to this world for the Fa. Helping Master validate the Fa and save sentient beings is my responsibility. How can I save sentient beings if I can't stand up?" Finally, I could stand up, but as a result of the anklebone fracture, the bone dislocated as soon as I moved, and I felt excruciating pain. I tried my best not to feel the pain and just saw myself as a practitioner. Afterwards, I gradually could move, and I again engaged in validating the Fa. The whole process lasted less than two months. This experience helped my relatives who didn't cultivate to witness the miracle of Falun Dafa, but it left me with the most profound lesson of my cultivation.
Although I have cultivated for so many years, in the midst of facing this sudden ordeal, I was still not clear enough from the Fa's perspective, and I didn't believe enough in Master and the Fa. At the same time, I realized that cultivation is serious. It is only when cultivating one's self well that we are qualified to validate the Fa. Otherwise, if our cultivation is not on an even keel, it will affect our ability to save sentient beings.
(3) Unconditionally Looking Within in Our Work Environment
In 2005, I began working as a full-time reporter in a non-Dafa media center that has quite a lot of influence on people from China. Because I had stated in my resume that I was a reporter for The Epoch Times, almost everyone in the office knew that I practiced Falun Gong. On the first day I went to work, a colleague asked me to look at his area. I found that he had hung Master's picture on the wall. I said silently to Master in my heart, "Master, please feel relieved. I will do well in this environment. Let the predestined people understand the truth and see the beauty of Dafa."
About 80 percent of my colleagues are Chinese. Many did not know the truth about Falun Gong and the brutal persecution. I could feel it from their attitude towards me. In my work environment, I tried my best to watch every word and action, and I always looked inside, which displayed the demeanor of a Dafa practitioner at all times.
The first time I met the male colleague who sat next to me, he told me that he was from Changchun, and I told him that I also was from that city. He was very happy to chat with me, but the minute I told him that I practiced Falun Gong he became mad and trembled. He told me that he would see Falun Gong practitioners wherever he went for an interview, and then he became foul-mouthed. Realizing that he lost his senses, I was certain that his mind was closed at that time. I silently sent forth righteous thoughts towards him until he calmed down. Later, another colleague who sat opposite me told me, "I asked him to apologize to you. I said that because she cultivates Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, just by saying the words, you can't push her around like that." He later asked me many things about Falun Gong. The attitude of this colleague sitting next to me toned down, and he apologized to me afterwards.
On another occasion, a colleague told me that another colleague had bad-mouthed Falun Gong and also said that I was strange. This colleague had defended me. I thought that it was not accidental that I heard this. I looked inside and realized that I hadn't participated in any group activity she organized, so no wonder she thought I was strange. One reason for my absence was that I do not like to indulge myself in eating and drinking. Moreover, I thought that what everyone talked about was useless and a waste of time. But I had never considered it from her angle. A few days later, she organized our Christmas party and I took the initiative to put my name on the list. She was a little surprised. I realized that it was my former behavior that caused her misunderstanding. During the lunch, my colleagues talked about the pain and persecution they suffered during the Great Cultural Revolution. When coming out of the restaurant, everyone felt bewildered. Originally it was organized as a happy holiday event, then why did everyone discuss this topic? I was very clear that Dafa practitioners' thoughts also affect ordinary people in their surroundings. Listening to the misery they had suffered, I thought that perhaps they endured such suffering so they could learn the truth and about Dafa today. I reminded myself in my heart that I needed to cherish these valuable lives. I must conduct myself in a way that doesn't prevent them from being saved.
In an annual evaluation, our team received a low score. The team leader blamed everyone, including me. I was indignant at that time, thinking "Why didn't you tell me earlier? Now, you blame me after the problems occurred." I was also hiding my attachment of worrying that the low score and the blame on me would affect my clarifying the truth. Later, I calmed down and started to look inside. I indeed discovered that I had strong attachments to the mentality of showing off, fame and the competitive mentality. I told the team leader that I was responsible for the low score and that I needed to improve. The next day, the team leader baked a cake for me. A few days later, the director left me a message saying that he would increase my salary, and urged me not to tell anyone else. I finally understood that we should unconditionally look inside in any situation. If we do so, we will find our attachments, and we will be able to purify ourselves and then save sentient beings.
I had been working full-time to validate the Fa during the first several years after the persecution began. I had been used to a busy schedule. When I came back to the ordinary people's working environment, I found that it was so easy. I had a lot of time to study the Fa after work, and I felt good at the beginning. But later I realized that this could not continue because I spent the whole day here which meant that I didn't have time for Fa-validating work. A few days later, the director asked me if I wanted to work the morning shift. I knew that it was Master's arrangement because Master saw my wish. I happily accepted that position. In this way, I started working at 4:00 a.m. and left before noon, so I again had sufficient time to validate the Fa. It went on like this for several years, and I let go of my attachment to comfort.
In early 2006, the CCP's crime of harvesting organs from living practitioners was exposed in Washington DC, and practitioners held a series of activities there in order to expose the CCP's crimes. My task was to report on these activities. I needed to get up at 3:00 a.m. to go to work and then go to these activities right after I left work. I sometimes needed to write several reports in one day. I didn't sleep for several days. In addition, my work at my ordinary job all of a sudden became heavier. Sometimes, I couldn't finish my work even if I worked for eight hours, and I felt great pressure. One day, while sitting in my office, I suddenly felt very physically and mentally tired and started to complain. But then I thought about fellow practitioners in China. Some of them are imprisoned in forced labor camps and suffer sleep deprivation for longer periods of time. Since they are doing so well in such a harsh environment, what can I complain about? Shouldn't I endure this small hardship in order to lessen their burden? After I adjusted my thinking, I no longer felt tired. Once I let go of my attachment, a miracle occurred. My team leader told me that because of mishaps in coordinating, I had been doing the job of two people. Now, since they realized what happened, they corrected the problem. What a relief! My regular tasks were reduced by two-thirds. It subsequently took me only two or three hours to finish the tasks for my job. This was really just like, "After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!" (Lecture Nine from Zhuan Falun)
After I battled through one test, another test appeared. It caused quite a few arguments in my office, and a fellow practitioner shouted at the Chinese envoy during a White House press conference. Even my team leader, who is always nice to me, said, "We cannot let a Falun Gong practitioner work here." He then realized that he shouldn't say that and told me, "I was not talking about you." But I still felt very upset and wronged. I usually worked so hard and didn't complain. But now all my efforts were in vain. I even thought about quitting my job. But then I thought, "Even if I quit, they still don't know the truth. Shouldn't I try my best to harmonize the Fa wherever there is a gap? Should people pay more attention to a fellow practitioner's shouting during a White House conference or the CCP's crimes of harvesting organs? Which one should be condemned?" I found that my human thinking was driven by the everyday people who still didn't know the truth, and I almost walked on the path arranged by the old evil forces. I realized that the essence of the problem was not the fellow practitioner's action, but that the everyday people were unaware of the truth. After I cleared my thoughts, I felt the environment change, although I didn't do anything apparent. My co-workers started asking me about the organ harvesting. Some asked about Falun Gong and a smile also crept back onto the director's face. I realized that the environment is actually created by my heart. No matter what I hear or see, I need to look inside and base all my actions and words on the goal of saving sentient beings. Only in this way will I not get confused. A few days later, I was transferred to a new group. I was assigned to be the news anchor of the television channel and broadcast live programs. From this display of trust from my superior, I knew that the negative impact of the shouting incident had been eliminated.
Working over the past few years, many colleagues gradually developed a positive impression of me. Many asked me for information about Falun Gong. Some borrowed Dafa books from me, and some came to learn and practice Falun Gong after noticing that I could remain positive and energetic even while dealing with so many tasks every day.
Master said in "Fa Teaching at the 2009 Greater New York International Fa Conference,"
"When I teach the Fa infrequently though, what worries me most is not the hardships or ordeals you face, which you know to be plenty hard. They are not the hardest thing; after all, however trying hardship may be, it's over after you get through it, and at that point things are clear to you. Rather, to quietly cultivate in bleak loneliness, unable to see hope, is the hardest of all. Doing any form of cultivation entails undergoing a trial such as this and a path with such features. Only if one can persevere and continually forge ahead does it amount to true diligence. It's easy to talk about, but putting it into action is tremendously difficult. That is why it's said that always cultivating as if you were just starting will surely result in achieving your ultimate rank."
From Master's words, I realized the damage that I caused due to my slacking off. Two years ago, I was involved in coordinating work at The Epoch Times in Washington, DC. While facing blame and complaints from fellow practitioners, the conflicts were hard to resolve, and with the difficulties with debt and lack of manpower, the thoughts of giving up often appeared in my mind when I couldn't see any hope, and I felt great pressure. Two or three months ago, some fellow practitioners shared their experiences at the Fa conference. They all believed that The Chinese version of The Epoch Times should be continued and be done well. I also corrected my thinking after that. Although we didn't get any more manpower, we collaborated with and encouraged each other well instead of criticizing and complaining about each other. Over the following two months, we remained profitable. We realized that what Master wants us to do is to strive forward diligently even in bleak loneliness and when unable to see hope. If we can do that, we can make the environment better because everything springs from Master and the Fa.
Dear fellow practitioners, it is today that we have been awaiting for millions of years. Let us strive forward diligently together, form a unified whole, cherish this precious cultivation opportunity and fulfill our prehistoric vows in the process of continuously striving forward diligently. Let's walk well the rest of the journey with righteous thoughts.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!