(Clearwisdom.net)
Master said:
"It is true that in the past I've said that the time left for Fa-rectification was not that long, quite short in fact. I had really hoped that you would quickly mature and grow rational, thus allowing this affair to be concluded in a short time. If Dafa disciples cannot all be rational and mature, and instead often act with a human frame of mind--and one that manifests so strongly, at that--how could this affair be concluded? How could one say that Dafa disciples have completed their cultivation?" ("Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference")
After I read this passage, I felt I almost wanted to cry, and that I didn't live up to Master's expectation for us to grow and become mature.
I also wished that I could meet Master's requirement instantly, so as to relieve Master's worries about us. Nevertheless, during critical trials, I failed. Lately, I've felt very tired. At the beginning, I didn't know why, as I had been practicing the exercises and studying the Fa every day. In addition to that, I also tried my best to save sentient beings. Why do I still feel so tired? Two days ago, because of a small matter, I got into a quarrel with my husband. Obviously, I was not able to pass the test, and I felt terrible. Why is my xinxing getting so poor?
In "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston," Master said,
"There are a lot of things you still aren't able to do well as Dafa disciples, though, and I can tell you that this is in fact because you've neglected Fa-study. The reason is, your surface, which is still assimilating to the Fa, needs to be constantly improved, and as you constantly improve, the things that you need to cultivate away have to be arranged for. Every realm has its own state of being. If you remain stagnant, you definitely won't be able to keep up with the Fa-rectification."
I have thought that as long as I do the "three things" that Master requires of us, and seem to do better than the practitioners around me, I would be able to keep up with the process of Fa-rectification. In fact, this is not the case. Doing the three things is just the larger picture of what Dafa practitioners are supposed to do during the Fa-rectification period. However, on an individual level, when I can't meet the standard of the Fa in my realm, especially if I remain stagnant, in the same state, it will certainly affect the things I do in Fa-rectification. Thus, I won't be able to keep up with the pace and rhythm of Fa-rectification.
I feel that I am currently in such a stagnant state. It is like throwing a punch. I intend to use 100% of my stamina, but somehow only 70% is in effect when it reaches the target. I just feel that the other 30% is missing. In actuality, the 30% is missing because my xinxing is not up to par. Why so? When I hear people gossiping behind my back, I feel angry, and I unwittingly look for an excuse to defend myself. In the face of condemnation, I feel as though I will collapse. I get angry and grief-stricken when I can't convince people to quit the evil party, thinking that they are very difficult to save. When these things happen, where is my compassion? In fact, these things come about all because I have not solidly cultivated myself well.
When I hear Master say, "Let compassion spring from your heart, maintain a peaceful appearance," on the exercise tape, I feel shocked. In fact, it is required of us as practitioners that we cultivate our compassion on a daily basis, in all matters, and at all times. It is just that we don't take it seriously, and we often forget the most important element in cultivation.
After reading Master's recent lecture, I have come to understand that practitioners' cultivation states have increasingly affected their surroundings and the world's people. The paths that we are taking and the state of Fa-rectification are closely related to each other. We must take seriously our attachments and human notions which affect our saving sentient beings, and cultivate ourselves solidly. If we can do this, the so-called "gaps," conflicts, and lack of coordination that exists among practitioners will diminish, and we will become more mature and rational as a whole. Our compassionate Master will then have less to worry about.
