(Clearwisdom.net) As a Dafa disciple, I have known that I should look inward. However, my understanding was limited to the superficial level and my own personal cultivation. My thought was that I needed to let go of some attachments, but I did not have a deeper understanding about it. As I studied the Fa more thoroughly, I came to realize that to look inward is not simply to improve oneself, it is also about the change occurring in all sentient beings and their improvement. As it is reflected in ordinary society, the xinxing of the people around us will change according to our own xinxing. This has manifested in the case of my mother.
For a long time, I contacted few practitioners and did not dare to contact others. I found a good excuse for myself that I had to think of safety issues because I was in charge of delivering truth-clarifying materials. Actually, I had the attachment of being afraid. This is the mindset of the old universe. I did not thoroughly deny the arrangement of the old forces. In most cases, when I clarified the truth I did not dare talk to strangers. Even when I talked to a stranger, I would talk as a third party. When faced with many people, I did not dare to declare that I was a Dafa disciple, and I usually talked vaguely. At that time, my mother would say to me, "I know Falun Gong is good. But just practice Falun Gong at home. Do not go out and talk to others." When someone unintentionally talked to her about Falun Gong, she would change the subject immediately and would not dare to talk about it.
This May, with a hint from Master, I suddenly felt that I should break through the mere personal cultivation state and merge myself with Dafa disciples. Once I had this idea, Master gradually led me to step into the group environment, and I came to know many new practitioners. During this process, I let go of many attachments of being afraid. When the false self who was scared manifested because of various phenomena triggering my notions, I did not follow it, and instead I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate it.
One day, my mother said, "How powerful Falun Gong is. There are truth clarifying materials posted everywhere." Then she said, "I guess you have also been out and posting materials." She didn't say anything more, and I was surprised; it seemed that she agreed with it. Later, I summoned up the courage to clarify the truth to her and directly say that I was a Falun Gong practitioner. She then told me how she had spoken with an elderly woman that very day who practiced Falun Gong, and the lady had persuaded her to quit the CCP. She told this practitioner that she had already quit because her daughter was a practitioner. She seemed proud of that fact.
The changes that have happened to my mother have made me look inward. I find that the process of her changing is similar to the change in my xinxing. Then I think, if my mother is from the same heavenly dimension that I belong to, then my mindset is the heavenly climate of that heavenly realm. If I were to get scared, then she would also be scared, and the sentient beings of that cosmic body that she represents would also be scared. If I were not to change, she and the sentient beings that she represents would also not change. Before, I was always complaining that my mother had poor enlightenment. I thought that she was not benevolent, righteous, or brave enough. However, I had not looked inward to see that what she was showing me was actually a direct reflection of my xinxing. I did not truly understand what Master said, "Everything that happens today in the ordinary society is the result of Dafa disciples' thoughts."("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A."). Now I understand that if I do not cultivate myself well, it will truly affect sentient beings that are being saved.
There are some practitioners among us that have not been able to step out of personal cultivation and are always blocked by ordinary sentimentality and notions of profit. Each day, they become entangled with these conflicts and do not look inward. Instead, they complain that their relatives do not treat them well, and that something seems unfair. However, as practitioners, we know that this is because we owe them from our previous lives. If we had not obtained Dafa, if Master had not eliminated our karma for us, we would not be able to pay off what we owe by the end of our lives. So why is it that when we pay a little now, we still feel it is unfair? In addition, during a specific historic era, our relatives who are creating conflicts and tribulations for us also came for the Fa. Because our attachments have not been let go, they play roles against us. Do they not feel sad? They should feel even sadder because they do not know the truth at all. What they really want is not what we owe; in reality, they want Dafa. This is the reason why we have our relationships. We are Fa-rectification Dafa disciples. When we reach consummation, we are the kings and lords of our respective universes. Those relatives might be the sentient beings of our universe. If we do not let go of our own attachments, we will affect their salvation. On the other hand, they will affect our cultivation. Therefore, our cultivation environment is related to our xinxing. Only when we look inward can we change all these factors that are not harmonious with the Fa.
To look inward is not a catch phrase, but a standard for our cultivation. Master says "the appearance stems from the mind." ("Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting"). My understanding is that we create our own surroundings, and this is the direct demonstration of our xinxing in ordinary society. When we look inward, and when our xinxing has improved, we need not do anything intentionally; all people and things around us will naturally be improved.
Please mercifully point it out if there is anything incorrect due to the limitation of my cultivation.
