(Clearwisdom.net) At one time, my school officials assigned me a task--to give a demonstration as part of a teaching exchange with other schools at the same level. I was teaching in a high school for the first time since I had become a teacher, and I cared very much about others' comments. My heart would fluctuate up and down along with my students' test scores. This task gave me an opportunity to directly present myself, so I had wished that my excellent presentation would earn me praise and recognition from teachers from other schools.
With such an attachment, I began to prepare for the demonstration. I fantasized how wonderful my class would be and how others would praise me, but I was also worried that I wouldn't have a foothold in my career if I failed to perform well. As a result, my demonstration was a disaster. Moreover, at a critical moment, I made mistakes when analyzing a sample question. This was such a big blow to me. I was depressed for quite some time, and I even wanted to quit teaching.
The reason for my failure during the demonstration was because I wanted to show off and was afraid of being hurt. My cultivation state at that time was not good: I had a strong attachment to personal interests and was disturbed by lust while watching movies. Such a selfish state manifested in my work, which led to a disastrous outcome.
I was not diligent in my cultivation and had many loopholes for the evil in other dimensions to take advantage of. I was reported to the police as I talked to people about Falun Gong. The local police secretly investigated and followed me, ransacked my home, held me in a detention center, and then incarcerated me in a brainwashing facility. During those painful days, I thoroughly looked within and awoke to my shortcomings. I resumed my teaching post after more than six months of nightmare-like experiences. I then was trapped by another attachment--being self-abased. I hated myself for having been "reformed," because I was unable to endure the torment, and did not believe in Master and the Fa wholeheartedly. In my work, I did not want to participate in anything. Later on, my wife exchanged her understandings with me and told me that I should be self-confident and let others know that Falun Dafa practitioners cannot be broken. Her words struck a chord within me: My colleagues all know that I am a practitioner, so my behavior will affect their opinion of Dafa. Thus I must do well in my work.
Later on, I applied for and was approved to give a county-level demonstration class. My starting point at that time was no longer to validate myself but to validate Dafa. I want to let my colleagues know that a Falun Dafa practitioner's work performance is outstanding.
While preparing for the demonstration, I was careful and focused, without any worries or other negative thoughts like, what if my presentation is poor. As a result, I improved significantly from the first draft to the final work of my teaching design. During my Fa study the previous night, one idea after another flashed across my mind, allowing me to expediently complete my presentation.
While in class, I was quite sure about my ultimate purpose: I teach to validate the Fa. My presentation turned out pretty well, as did my students' performance. My students and fellow teachers showed great interest. In the following review session, all the teachers had high praise for my class.
These two identical demonstration classes turned out quite differently. Thinking of the reasons for the different outcomes gives me much food for thought.
Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
