(Clearwisdom.net) One day I went to see a practitioner who runs a business. He told me that his business was not going well. I said: "It's OK. Just make enough to buy food and clothing." He replied: "I used to think like you but was corrected by fellow practitioners. If all of the Dafa practitioners were doing well financially, we could launch our own satellite and broadcast the truth to the Chinese people 24 hours a day. Would the Chinese communist regime still dare to persecute us then? Who would still believe their evil lies?" He also said: "I read 'Fa Teaching Given at the Epoch Times Meeting' twice recently. Master said that we should not have misgivings about Dafa disciples making big money. Why do we say it's good enough to have just enough money to eat?"
I then started to look within myself regarding this issue. After being released from a forced labor camp, I went to work in another area. I did not return to practicing Falun Gong for more than one year. Nothing I did went smoothly during that year. Finally, I started to study the Fa again and realized how precious cultivation is. I immediately quit that job, which required a lot of overtime, and went back home to look for another job. My criteria in searching for a job was to just earn enough for food and clothing. On the surface I was looking for a job, but actually I was looking for a cultivation environment that I thought would be good. When I found such an environment, I still didn't look inward when encountering conflicts. When the conflicts grew too big and I couldn't overcome them, I looked for another environment. When the same thing happened again, I would find another environment, and so on. It was all about my dislike for everyday work. I could have done some business to make more money, but I was afraid that doing business would interfere with my cultivation. In summary, I took the easy way out.
Later on, I still did not gain a correct understanding and was still using the criteria of making just enough for food and clothing to find work. And I felt great, thinking that I had sacrificed everything for cultivation.
My sister gave me some money and asked me to do some business, but I told her that I just needed to make enough for food and clothing. I still did not realize that the notions of "earning just enough for food and clothing" and "it's good enough if I have time for cultivation" are not right.
Looking back, it seemed that I was cultivating and that I gave up fame and fortune for cultivation. But in fact, I did not understand the form of cultivating in Dafa. I was seeking an environment which I thought was good for cultivation. I now realize that I should have treated my work environment as a good cultivation environment and treated each conflict as an opportunity to improve myself.
While it appeared that I put my heart and soul into cultivation, I didn't reach the goal of validating the Fa. My sister had a very good impression of Dafa. When I asked her if she wanted to start practicing, however, she said: "Falun Gong is good, but if I practice it then I will be arrested, and I won't be able to make big money. So I can't do it." My husband previously learned the exercises, but when I asked him to start practicing again, he said, "If everyone is like you, who is going to take care of the family?"
Therefore, I inadvertently caused a lot of trouble for myself, some of which I can't make up even after realizing it. I'm writing this out so that fellow practitioners with similar problems can learn from my experience.
Category: Improving Oneself
