(Clearwisdom.net)
Acquiring Dafa During a Tribulation
In late September 1996, I lost my job. I was anxious and angry, and complained to my superiors and others every day and wept. My family environment was also not harmonious. My husband was having an affair, was fighting daily with me, and asked for a divorce. My son was in high school at the time. I felt chagrined and battered, and was exhausted during that period
I was disheartened and depressed. This ordeal had lasted for over a month when I was transferred to a workplace where there were Falun Dafa practitioners. The person that I shared an office with, a practitioner, gave me Zhuan Falun, and said, "Why don't you take a look?" I accepted the book and started reading. The more I read, the more I enjoyed reading the book and just couldn't stop reading. This book was so good! This is how I obtained Falun Dafa.
Passing the Test of Qing
I was filled with happiness because of the changes I experienced once I practiced Falun Dafa. I told everyone that Falun Dafa was good, because it helped me change my outlook. However, the postnatal notions were like mountains, blocking my cultivation path, and were impossible to overcome without a strong will and diligent practice. A practitioner's sorrow and bitterness can only be tasted when one is solid in one's practice. The most difficult test to overcome is that of qing.
I was very emotional, and thought if I was good to others, they should treat me the same way. However, my husband started an extramarital affair, which hurt me deeply.
After I became a practitioner, although I was clear on the Fa principles, my emotions overpowered me, and when he behaved badly, my heart felt like it was painful and bleeding. Whenever I saw him, I was upset and ignored him; I also didn't speak to him politely. Once, he came home at 2:00 a.m. I was very angry and chastised him. He ignored me and went to sleep. I then had a dream. I was lying on the bed at my mother's place, looking out the window. Then, a cloud moved towards me and stopped outside the window. This white cloud suddenly hurled a black cloud towards me, which covered my face. I screamed and wanted to pull it off, but couldn't. I was in deep discomfort and then my screaming woke me up. It was 4:00 a.m. I quickly got up and went to the practice site. I thought about this dream. Wasn't it telling me that I hadn't improved my xinxing and the karma was returned to me? My face was bathed in tears when I was walking home. I hated myself for not improving my xinxing.
The practice helped me let go of my emotional attachments. I understood that the karma from misdeeds in my past lives needed to be removed through tribulations in this life. By practicing Falun Dafa in this life, I had to repay those I had harmed, so my tribulations were not accidental. I had to cultivate my mind, sever all desires and cast off attachments, and walk out of humanness. I worked on one attachment at a time. Once my husband tried to pick a fight over a small matter. I remained calm and simply said, "Quickly go to work, or you will be late." He looked at me, speechless. After many tribulations, tests, and deep pain in the heart, I could let go of more and more. When additional tests occurred later, I could immediately recall Teacher's words:
“Can you bring to heaven the things deep down inside that you cannot let go of?” (“True Cultivation” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
Practitioners, we are all immersed in sentiment. If every thought is on the Fa, we take things lightly at all times, we can let go of it and replace it with compassion. Being diligent in Fa study and practicing the exercises, one's xinxing improves. The main consciousness strengthens, and one's energy and righteous field become ever stronger. This will affect one's family members, and the home environment will improve.
Overcoming Sickness Karma
Before July 20, 1999, I passed my tests of sickness karma, as I knew Teacher was eliminating my karma and purifying my body. Teacher had given me so much, including a healthy body. I have been physically well during 14 years of practicing Falun Dafa. I am 62 years old, have no health problems and can work, walk, ride a bike, and so on.
I purchased a house in 2004, and developed an attachment to it. I planned renovations all day long, and neglected Dafa work. This was taken advantage of by the old forces. One evening in October 2004, I suddenly felt dizzy. Then I vomited and had diarrhea, and couldn't move my body. My family immediately took me to the hospital. After a CT scan, I was diagnosed with a cerebral hemorrhage. I was rushed to the provincial hospital, where I was further diagnosed with a brain tumor, which required immediate surgery. My mind was very clear, but my body could not move. My immediate family, and brothers and sisters were very scared, and wanted me to agree to the surgery. I have a rare blood type, for which there was no supply available at that location. When my son asked me what to do, I said that I wanted to go home. I only had one thought, "I need to quickly go home and listen to Teacher's lectures.”
The old forces had arranged sickness karma for me, which I had to overcome. At home, I held one thought, "I only listen to Teacher, no matter how you attack me. I'm not afraid this time." Since I couldn't open my eyes, I listened to the recording of Teacher's lectures in Jinan. After I could open my eyes, I recited Hong Yin and practiced the exercises once I could stand up. My mind was filled with Teacher's Fa, and nothing else. Under Teacher's merciful protection, I recovered very quickly. I could walk within a week, went outdoors within two weeks, and completely recovered within a month. People were most surprised, because a cerebral hemorrhage can cause death in an ordinary person. People thus witnessed Falun Dafa's supernatural power from this incident.
Cultivation practice is very serious, and Teacher looks after us and protects us all the time. However, the evil is watching us closely for any loophole. If we are on the Fa at all times, Teacher will strengthen us. If we are not diligent and separated from the Fa, the evil will create a deathtrap. This persecution in the form of sickness karma made me truly understand what cultivation means..
Righteous Fa, Righteous Enlightenment; Righteous Thoughts, Righteous Actions
I have produced truth-clarification materials about Falun Dafa since 2004. I was inexperienced and security was a foreign concept for me. Additionally, the printer was noisy, which I used for over six months. I was discovered and monitored from that time onwards. I hadn't experienced such a situation and didn't know how to handle it. Fellow practitioners were unwilling to listen to me. I was very worried, but later realized that I was simply being weighed down by my fear.
I finally calmed down, studied the Fa more, and looked within to discover my shortcomings. I realized that I did not focus during Fa-study. I had a strong attachment to doing things, wanted to make up for the losses I had suffered, and wasn't paying attention to security. I neglected to send righteous thoughts and held onto a number of other shortcomings. I realized I was not on the Fa, and corrected myself.
Practitioners doing the three things and saving sentient beings is the most righteous thing. No matter what the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its followers concoct, they actually fear us and we have nothing to be afraid of. The next time I had a problem, I remained unmoved, eliminated the evil with righteous thoughts and continued to do the things that I should do. I went out to tell people about Falun Dafa by myself. I was more diligent and held the Fa in my heart. My righteous thoughts were sufficient to eliminate all evil that tried to attack me and this led to good results. Although I had little contact with other practitioners, I am interlinked with practitioners around the globe through the Minghui website. I do not feel lonely, as Dafa practitioners are one body.
Teacher is merciful to all lives, and wants us to help him save more people. We will do whatever Teacher requires of us. Whenever the opportunity arises, I talk about Falun Gong and about quitting the CCP to everyone, including schoolmates, colleagues, relatives, and neighbors.
Once I was crossing the street during a strong rain. While I was crossing the road, an elderly man came under my umbrella. I thought, he is here to hear the facts about Falun Gong. He listened intently and believed what I was saying. He hadn't joined any of the communist party's organizations, so I told him to often recite "Falun Dafa is good" and "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good." He happily agreed. We must be sure not to hold on to fear when clarifying the facts. Another time, I met an elderly professor who had been a long-time CCP member. He didn't want to withdraw from the party no matter what I said. So I sent righteous thoughts to clear out the evil spirits behind him, and he changed. He gave me an alias to be used for the withdrawal. At that time a police car slowly passed me, made a turn and drove away. I was not scared. Then, I ran into a couple. The wife agreed to quit the CCP but her husband would not. When I clarified the truth to people, some quickly agreed, and some would not quit. There were many different situations.
Teacher has left us the form, "a Great Way has no form", (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan”) and told us of the importance of group Fa study. I wanted to join a Fa study group, but did not know where there was one. One day in the market, I ran into a fellow practitioner. She asked me, “Do you still practice?” I replied, “Sure I do, why would I stop doing such a good thing?” It felt like we had a connection, and she found a Fa study group for me. I did not know anyone at the Fa-study site, but practitioners are one body. We got to know each other through studying the Fa and exchanging views. We have encouraged each other and strove forward. I have learned much from fellow practitioners.
I really miss Teacher. It is Dafa that separated my true self from attachments, human emotions, and human desires. I have become a person that strives forward to higher levels. It is Teacher's merciful salvation that has purified our souls and helped us eliminate our karma, which we have accumulated over many lifetimes. This is something that has never happened. I must grasp this opportunity, go forward diligently and go home with Teacher.
