(Clearwisdom.net) In 1996, when I was not yet 30 years old, I started to practice Falun Gong. So, I'm considered a veteran practitioner. Before I stepped into cultivation, I suffered from serious illnesses, including headaches, gastroptosis, low blood pressure and heart disease. In my weakened state I could barely speak.
My cousin's wife, a practitioner, recommended that I read the book Zhuan Falun. She spoke highly of this book and asked me try to read it in one go. But, it took me quite a long time to read it from beginning to end. I felt it was quite good, but did not understand much. Later, I also listened to the recording of Teacher's lectures and learned to do the exercises, but my low enlightenment to the principles in the book made me find excuses not to practice. I thought that my kids were too young and needed me, so I would cultivate later. Fortunately, Teacher did not give up on me and arranged opportunities for me to become a practitioner of Falun Dafa. After repeated studying of the Fa, I realized that the mission of a being is to return to one's true origin. I am so fortunate to have walked into Dafa and to be able to cultivate in this spiritual practice.
1. Upgrading Myself and Caring for my Family
I missed many opportunities to be a diligent practitioner over the years, as I didn't do any of the activities a practitioner of Falun Dafa should be involved in. Therefore, most of the time I faced family tests. I was fortunate that all my illnesses disappeared because of studying Falun Dafa and I saved much money on medicine and doctor visits. Unfortunately, my husband turned into a totally different person. He no longer cared for the family, and spent all the money on himself, including eating out, drinking, playing and gambling. He began to beat me brutally after drinking too much alcohol. I was faced with many tribulations, raised our kids by myself and earned money through working in the fields. When I wasn't that diligent, I felt a little unbalanced and wronged. Sometimes, I thought that I owed him a debt from a prior life! I decided to study the Fa diligently, cultivate well and pay off the debts I owed, so I could return to my original true self.
Gradually I understood how to look within and improved myself. I realized that when speaking my voice was loud, not peaceful and I usually held an accusatory tone of voice, ordering others around. Then, I tried to restrain myself and spoke with compassion and a peaceful voice. When I wanted to talk, I first calmed down and thought of what to say. I stopped myself from saying anything that could create conflict. The effect of my words improved the environment around me.
In addition, I still had a strong notion that men should support their families. My husband spent all the money he earned, which bothered me. I understood that I should remove this mindset and worked hard at it, but only on the surface. My heart was still heavy.
About two years ago, my mother-in-law was dying. When I saw my husband, I asked what he was going to do. He said that he was going to borrow money from others for I did not offer any. This made me rather unhappy. He earned more than 10,000 yuan annually and did not give me and the kids a penny, so how could he ask for money! After returning home I met my husband's uncle. He said to me: "You are in the wrong. You should contribute to your mother-in-law's funeral. Your sister-in-law told me that you refused to contribute money." I thought that I was not in the wrong, but still everyone blamed me. I got upset and cried. No one took under consideration that I had supported this family for so many years. How could they criticize me? If I were not a practitioner, I would have divorced him years ago.
Then, I calmed down, realizing that this incident happened for a reason, which was for me to remove my attachment to self-interest. I no longer should act and behave like an ordinary person and should instead do everything according to the standard of a practitioner. I decided not to hold onto the attachment to money. If they wanted, they could have my money. I asked Teacher to arrange it. I would not stain the Fa.
Then, I consulted a relative of mine, also a practitioner. He suggested that I tell my husband's family the truth about my husband, the way he was treating me and our kids. Teacher requires us to consider others first. If I did this, I would no longer have lost face, but my husband would definitely lose face and he could not tolerate that. That would aggravate the conflict between us. So, I decided on a different course. Early the next morning I went to his uncle's home and told him in detail what had been going on between my husband and me over the last years. I asked him to be the judge and suggest how I should handle the situation. After his uncle had heard it all he got extremely angry, praised my forbearance and refused to take a penny from me.
Being diligent in my studying of the Fa, I could face any situation head on. As Teacher said in Zhuan Falun, "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master."
Teacher asks that cultivators cultivate their minds. The minute I let sentimentality go, everything passed smoothly. During times of conflict, I asked myself why I had come to this human world. Was it for sentiment or for money? If my husband had given me a mountain of gold, would I still cultivate? I told myself that I would cultivate to the end. This is what I had waited for for millions of years. Then I felt my heart had become much purer and I no longer held any resentment. On the contrary, I realized that my husband was so pitiful, lost and filled with bitterness.
After letting go of my resentment, my family situation improved. My husband became a nice person and this family was saved. I understood that it is Dafa that changed me and saved this family. This is proof of the power of compassion, which resulted from my looking within, just as Teacher said.
2. Saving Sentient Beings and Cultivating Well
As practitioners, our mission is to assist Teacher and validate the Fa. I tried my best to do the three things well. My experience helped me realize that continuous Fa-study helped me strengthen my righteous thoughts, do better in my validating the Fa and clarifying the truth, and save more sentient beings.
I wasn't a very talkative person; actually I was introverted. This was a barrier to my telling people about Falun Gong. I decided to break through this barrier and no longer think of saving face. From that time on Teacher arranged opportunities for me.
I made full use of all opportunities to talk about Falun Gong, such as when visiting relatives and friends, shopping and during weddings. I held righteous thoughts and was filled with compassion when I told people how good Falun Dafa is, and why they needed to quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations. Most everyone quit the CCP and expressed their thanks.
Usually I clarified the truth from the perspective of a third person. Before I started to talk, I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate all evil factors. Then, I used as a basis for the discussion some daily event and slowly moved into information about Falun Gong. When people heard "quitting the CCP," they asked if I was a Falun Gong practitioner. Then, I told them about the benefits to those who practice Falun Gong, and that all my illnesses had disappeared after I became a practitioner. Of course there were people who didn't want to hear what I had to say and intended to create trouble. Then, I just asked a few questions, changed the topic and left.
In the process of my talking about Falun Gong, I noticed that sentient beings were waiting to be saved. Once, I met two ladies who wore modern clothes. At first, I didn't want to talk to them and thought it might be difficult to do so. But, I changed my mind. Despite my expectations, they very much liked to hear what I said and quit the CCP. Then they trusted me and even told me about their families and their dreams.
Another time, at a supermarket, I clarified the truth to a lady who was selling vegetables. She said that she only believed in God and did not listen to others. I told her that I just wanted to talk about how to be a better person and have a better life, which had nothing to do with her belief. Then she smiled and was glad to listen. She quit the CCP.
I think it is also a part of cultivation that I write this sharing article. In writing, many bad thoughts were cleaned out and I improved.
