(Clearwisdom.net) Because I was busy doing things, I did not study the Fa well. I was only pursuing quantity, not quality. I often missed a word or added a word while reading the Fa. I sometimes was in a hurry and wanted to finish reading a whole paragraph in one breath. With such an impure heart, how could I assimilate myself into the Fa? Along with my attachments to doing things, comfort, the mentality of showing off, depending on others, worry, fear, and zealotry, I always looked at others' problems and did not want to look inward when I had conflicts with others. Even though I did look inward at times, I did not deeply look within, and I always considered myself right. I thought I was doing the three things every day. Self-satisfaction kept me from looking inward and upgrading my xinxing. The old forces found my loopholes.
I went to a fellow practitioner's home at night two weeks ago. After sending forth righteous thoughts at 6:00 p.m., both my arms and legs felt itchy. I was standing beside the bed and reached out to scratch, but my legs would not hold me up. I fell to the floor, stood up, and then fell again. My legs were as soft as noodles. My mind was very clear at that time, but I just could not stand up. I saw a horrible scene at that moment. D, a fellow practitioner who had just passed away, was held by four vicious little devils who were dressed in red clothes. They stretched his arm and legs, pulled his head, held his body up, and were roasting his bottom over a fire. He kept crying. I was scared. One of the little devils asked me, "Why do you come here?" I answered, "I did not cultivate diligently." I asked D, "Why do you suffer like this?" He said, "I signed up with Master. It is a huge sin to breach the contract. I cannot go back to cultivate again because I no longer have a physical body. You go back and progress diligently, or else you will share my fate." I said, "I want to go back. I will cultivate diligently. I do not want to stay here. I want to go back, I want to go home with Master and fulfill my prehistoric wish." The devils said, "Let her go. We will not hold her here. Put her back right now."
D began to cultivate Dafa when he was dying four or five years ago, but he could not give up his attachment to his disease. He took medicine, injections, and oxygen and went to the hospital when he did not feel well. He spent a lot of money during those years, and he rarely did the three things. Thus he passed away because of his sickness karma.
That scene was something I could see in my current state. I feel it is not just a reminder to me but to all practitioners who have fallen behind. I hope that all the practitioners who are slacking off become diligent quickly, catch up with other practitioners, go home with Master hand in hand, and complete our prehistoric wish.
Written on February 2, 2010
