(Clearwisdom.net) During the Chinese New Year, the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net) continuously published a large number of greeting e-cards and letters to Master from Dafa practitioners all over the world. Just like previous years, as I was reading and enjoying the greeting e-cards and letters to Master, I became so thankful to Master for his compassion. I was expecting to read a greetings message from Master to all of his disciples. However, after the Chinese New Year passed, there was not a new article published by Master. Since Master did not have a new article, every time when I opened the Minghui website I would look at Master's photo. I felt that Master had a very serious and dignified expression, which I never experienced before. I could not help feeling sad. I was asking myself, "Was this because I did not do well in something recently?" Master did not publish a new article; is this because that all Dafa disciples did not do well?

This morning I was doing my sitting meditation and as I listened to Master's voice in the exercises music, it again reminded me of his serious expression. I felt kind of lost and did not know what I did wrong. Suddenly the lyrics of Shen Yun's songs occurred to my mind. Immediately I came to understand: The situation has been very pressing, Master is worried and concerned for the people in the world who do not yet know about the truth and to those disciples who are not diligent in their cultivation.

Looking back for the past few days, I have been thinking whether I did something wrong. Encouraged by Shen Yun's global tour and the huge amount of Dafa practitioners' greetings to Master, there was also a joyfulness that I felt. When the world's people were happily enjoying the New Year, I found myself feeling confused. I never thought of whether the people of the world were in an urgent and dangerous situation.

Although Master has been teaching the Fa for so many years, the people of the world are facing danger. I did not, however, feel the urgency in my mind. Only through studying the Fa, the superficial human side of myself understood that in order to save people we have to clarify the truth to them thoroughly. However, deep in my heart I did not fully understand this and neither did I have a sense of urgency. What I cared most about is whether I followed the requirements of the Fa set forth by Master, and whether I improved my xinxing. However, I discovered that I was only focusing on this aspect and that I still thought that I was within the Fa. Today however, I realized how deep my strong selfishness had been hiding. Even though the sentient beings are facing such a dangerous situation, what I really cared about was still about my own cultivation and my own improvement. Even when I did truth-clarification work, it was not out of the pure thought of saving sentient beings. When I did a little bit more and a little bit better, I had the hidden attachment of showing off. I was leading such a selfish life. How could this have a positive effect in saving the sentient beings?

For so many years, Master has been waiting for our improvement as a whole. Master has been continuously encouraging us even when we did just a little bit better, and most of the time, we did not do well. We have been relying on Master's benevolence instead of looking within and improving ourselves from own original nature. We are still so

attached to human things and do not want to give them up. Master did not issue an article for the New Year. Are we supposed to keep the same cultivation state like this, and have Master constantly endure for us with no end?

This is my personal thinking and I would like to share this with those fellow practitioners who are still wandering around without moving forward like myself. Fellow practitioners, please point out with compassion if there is anything incorrect in my understanding.