(Clearwisdom.net) Every practitioner has different paths of Dafa cultivation. People's experiences vary in their process of becoming mature, and I'd like to share my own path of cultivation. Before Dafa cultivation, within my family I had a good relationship with everyone, and I also had many friends. I would rather see others happy, even if it came at my own expense. However, I felt bitter or resentful when I had to make sacrifices for others' sake--it was just that I didn't let them see it. I had this attachment when I entered Dafa cultivation.
After starting cultivation, I gradually became aware that my sense of "compassion" was impure. It was just like what Teacher said,
"In the workplace or in the society some people may say that you are bad, and yet you may not be necessarily bad. Some people may say that you are good, but you may not really be good." (Zhuan Falun, Lecture One)
As my cultivation progressed, I dug out the "false compassion" behind my concealed attachment to reputation. I was only willing to hear what I liked to hear. With this kind of attachment, I was solely trying to achieve a peaceful relationship within my family, even though doing so exhausted me.
My attachment caused my main consciousness to become rather weak over a long period of time, even though the Fa principle was quite clear to me. But time and again I would cover up my weakness with the Fa, thereby further strengthening my attachment.
Teacher said,
"Any type of habit that you form is in fact a material product. In other dimensions that material is there, and only thus does that state manifest here in this dimension." (Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan, March 26, 2006)
Teacher also said,
"I can completely remove the material substance for you, but the habits that were formed are something you definitely have to remove--definitely, absolutely." (Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan, March 26, 2006)
After reading this paragraph of Fa many times, I began to realize that my habits are part of a degenerated substance in my dimension, something that I can't make go away with mere words. It can only be eliminated through more Fa study and solid cultivation. I also cleansed my own dimension by sending forth righteous thoughts.
Since then I have been able to better focus on studying the Fa, doing the exercises, and sending forth righteous thoughts. This has enabled me to lessen my attachment of fear when doing truth clarification. Previously when sending forth righteous thoughts, I couldn't keep my right hand from moving, even with my eyes wide open. When doing sitting meditation, I was always in a daze, not knowing when my hand gesture was changed or when was I in a "jieyin" position. But I was continuously strengthening my righteous thoughts, I believed that my dimension was being cleared up and these problems got better.
Each person has a distinct set of traits. A person with a strong personality might have a tendency to show off, look down upon others, be arrogant, or be unwilling to accept criticism--all caused by unwanted substances in his own dimension. In cultivation, we have to confront and remove that substance. If we don't do that, it will appear to us to be a part of our own nature, rendering us unable to overcome it. For example a young person might focus on their looks or clothing. An older person might be overly concerned about nutritional supplements. A health worker might always want to talk to people about sickness prevention. In other words, our daily thoughts might be governed by something other than the Fa.
Teacher said,
"If you do not want to change your human state and rationally rise to a true understanding of Dafa, you will miss the opportunity. If you do not change the human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years, you will be unable to break away from this superficial human shell and reach Consummation." (Cautionary Advice, Falun Dafa Essentials For Further Advancement)
Now I have a deeper understanding of Teacher's Fa in this paragraph. When human thoughts are still having the upper hand, then we're unknowingly nourishing the bad elements that exist in our time-space. They block our progress in assisting in Teacher's Fa-rectification and create tribulations for us. They sap our time, energy, and willpower. As Teacher's Fa-rectification is approaching the surface, we really have to dig deep to the root and solve the problem.
I have realized that when looking at my attitude towards others, I need to discern if I'm acting out of Buddha nature or demon nature. On the other hand, when looking at another person's attitude towards me or something taking place between other people, I need to look to see if it reflects some shortcoming on my part, using the Fa as the guideline. To always want to change others is a characteristic of the old universe. Teacher has talked a lot about looking within oneself from different points of view, so I need to ask, "Why did I have the opportunity to see friction between fellow practitioners?" I need to make looking within a part of my second nature.
