(Clearwisdom.net) I was born in the countryside and have inherited the virtue of thriftiness from my parents. But at the same time, I developed the attachment to money and things, which was the result of the long-term poverty I experienced growing up in the evil Communist Party's culture. I was very afraid of losing money and things. After practicing cultivation, I knew that I should get rid of this attachment; but it was very hard to remove. I was affected by this attachment for quite a long period, and therefore, the old forces took advantage of this loophole and made their arrangement for me.
During this persecution, I lost my job. My two daughters were both in college at that time, so my family was under huge economic pressure. Afterwards, with Master's encouragement and fellow practitioners' help, I gradually cared less and less about money and things. In this process, I realized the true meaning of the Fa principle of "No loss, no gain" and also experienced the miracle of Dafa.
I came to realize that some practitioners are still trapped in the economic persecution by the old forces and so busy rushing to make ends meet that they cannot fulfill Dafa disciples' responsibilities. I want to share my experience, hoping that it may inspire and encourage other practitioners to get out of the old forces' trap as soon as possible.
I sent off for Beijing to appeal on behalf of Falun Gong in the spring of 2000 but was arrested at the train station. Police officers extorted more than two thousand yuan from me, and I was detained for more than 40 days. My family did not have the money, so my husband had to borrow it from relatives.
In the summer of 2000, the head of the school where I worked then prohibited me from working, with the excuse that I had been detained for clarifying the truth about Falun Gong. I didn't know how to deny the arrangements by the old forces at that time, but thought that I was caring less about money. I then had to take a very difficult path in cultivation. My elder daughter was in college, and my younger daughter was in high school at that time. It was a time that my family needed money very much. My husband only earned about four hundred yuan per month. I worked as a tutor and earned little. I thought at that time that, no matter how hard it was, Dafa is very good, and that I must persist in practicing cultivation.
At the end of 2000, I appealed in Beijing again but was detained for more than a month out of town. When my family came to pick me up, the police extorted one thousand yuan from us. In July 2001, I was arrested again while distributing informational materials about Falun Gong with a fellow practitioner. After being detained for more than 20 days, I was transferred to a forced labor camp. However, I was experiencing illness symptoms at that time, so camp officials refused to admit me. They extorted nearly two thousand yuan from my family and then sent me home.
At that time, I didn't know that I should look within myself for problems with my xinxing; I just hated those evil police officers. Now I understand that it was the old forces who took advantage of my attachment to money to persecute me again and again. At that point, my family situation became more serious. My husband, who had supported me before, then turned against my practicing. Sometimes he even got drunk and beat me.
With the help of a friend, I got a job in a private school in the summer of 2001 and finally had a little income.
In the beginning of March 2003, I was subjected to one year of forced labor. In the labor camp, I didn't follow the guards' orders at all; I just clarified the truth whenever I got a chance. Thanks to Master's benevolent care, my term was reduced. Before I left, another prisoner in my cell was talking to herself, "Someone can lay down her life but can't give up her concern for money." I was so surprised. How did she know? She knew nothing about my family. I realized that it was Master who was enlightening me and helping me to get rid of this attachment as soon as possible.
The situation in my family became even worse. My husband got diabetes, and my younger daughter in college developed a cerebral vasospasm due to stress. Our radiators frosted over because we couldn't afford the heating bill. In just one year, my family owed relatives and friends more than five thousand yuan. Our elder daughter was in graduate school, and the younger was in college. We couldn't afford their tuition fees or their living expenses. They had to work as tutors to pay their own expenses. It is hard to understand that kind of hardship without experiencing it firsthand. Without Dafa, I really don't know how I could have survived during that period.
Although it seemed hopeless, I came back home, which made my family hopeful. I believed that those who practice Dafa will have good rewards and that my hardship would soon go away. I met a fellow practitioner in the forced labor camp. She lived out of town and got released several days before me. After I came home, she called me and lent me one thousand yuan. I was moved and my husband kept saying that Dafa is good.
Officials from the 610 Office threatened to send me to a brainwashing center whenever they found me. I knew that Dafa could change everything, so I worked hard on studying the Fa, and kept on studying at least two lectures of Zhuan Falun per day. I also studied Master's overseas lectures. Moreover, I paid close attention to sending forth righteous thoughts.
I realized that the reason that I suffered repeated persecution was my human mindset. I had ignored cultivating myself and especially had the attachment of fear. I feared imprisonment, being fined, losing benefits, and bringing troubles to my family. I had rarely cultivated myself at home and often got angry with my husband, who didn't practice. This behavior showed that I hadn't gotten rid of the competitive mentality and that I couldn't be tolerant. Meanwhile, I had sent forth righteous thoughts less often. Therefore, my field was not pure and my loopholes were taken advantage of by the old forces again and again. My family members became concerned because they often saw me being arrested, detained, and fined. They had already suffered so much pain.
By looking within, I was determined to get rid of these attachments while doing the three things well. I thought, "I'm Master's disciple. No one can persecute me. I should just do well with what I should do." I still worked as a tutor. Once I had spare time, I clarified the truth in public. My attachment of fear faded gradually, and finally I walked out of the shadow of fear.
My daughters returned home for the summer holiday. One day, my younger daughter was in pain again due to the cerebral vasospasm. I asked her to recite, "Falun Dafa is good." At the beginning, she hesitated and didn't do it. Afterwards, she hurt so much that she started to recite it. Soon she recovered from the illness that had troubled her for more than a year. I told both my daughters about the wonderfulness of Dafa and also explained how the evil CCP persecuted Dafa disciples, and how Dafa disciples fight against the persecution and selflessly help others.
They burst into tears while listening. My elder daughter said, "Mom, it's really hard for you. If I have money in the future, I must give it to you for your truth-clarifying materials so that more people can understand the truth and not persecute Dafa disciples anymore."
My younger daughter also told me that she truly realized that "Falun Dafa is good." One day, I heard my younger daughter clarify the facts to her classmates. In the end, she said, "When I was in high school, I used to be afraid that if others knew that my mom practiced Falun Gong, I would lose face. Now, I feel really proud to have such a good mother who practices Falun Gong."
After seeing that our younger daughter recovered by reciting "Falun Dafa is good," my husband said, "Dafa is so miraculous. Without the help of Dafa and Master, we would have had to spend a lot to treat her illness. Thank you, Master!"
Because the economic situation in my family was still very serious, we could only help my two daughters with traveling expenses when they left for school. They had to cover their living expenses on their own.
By October 2004, I had scratched up about five to six thousand yuan. I meant to send the money to my daughters, but they were so sensible that they wanted to take care of their living expenses by themselves, and asked me to repay our family debts first. After repaying all our debts, I still had about one thousand yuan. I called the fellow practitioner from out of town to repay her. However, she didn't take it, telling me that it was up to me to decide what to do with it. So I spent the money on making truth-clarifying materials and felt very surefooted.
One night, my younger daughter called me, asking if I had sent her money because there was another two thousand yuan on her bank card, and only her school and I knew her account number. Several days later, she called me again, telling me that someone had sponsored students who had financial difficulties. I knew that it was Master encouraging me.
Then I used two hundred yuan that I had saved to get truth-clarifying materials made. My younger daughter called me again several days later, telling me that she was awarded a scholarship of more than one thousand yuan, which fully covered her living expenses for one semester. A few days later, she told me that she got a student loan. At that time, I was coaching a student who wanted to apply for military school. After I clarified the truth to him, he wanted to look at the truth-clarifying videos, which were forbidden in his home. My family was still very poor, and a video player was a luxury item for me. However, in order to save that student, I spent more than two hundred yuan buying a video player so that he could see the truth-clarifying videos in my home. That student learned the truth about Dafa and then clarified the truth to his classmates. Even for this small matter, I felt that Master was still encouraging me. My elder daughter's tutor set up a company and offered her a job with a salary of six hundred yuan per month. Later, the elder daughter also got a student loan. As my younger daughter said, "Mom, fortune is smiling on us."
During that period, as long as I spent some money to make truth-clarifying materials, my daughters received rewards. Actually I was still experiencing heavy financial pressure that year, but it was also the wealthiest year since I had been persecuted. I spent more than three thousand yuan to make truth materials. Afterwards, I would think that I should get rewards later. I then realized that it was my attachment to money in another form; therefore, I got rid of it. As long as I have the ability and Dafa has needs, I will contribute as much as possible.
When the winter holiday came, our elder daughter gave me some money from her salary for informational materials, making good on her promise. The younger daughter, who was in her internship, also gave me some from her intern income to show appreciation for Master's help. When they returned to school, the elder daughter called me happily, telling me that her tutor gave her a fifteen-hundred-yuan bonus. She knew that it was a reward from Master. The younger daughter also received another scholarship for about one thousand yuan.
After they graduated, they both found satisfying jobs with Master's care. They repaid their student loans in a short time. Every time they returned home, they gave me some money for truth-clarifying materials and also helped me with living expenses. I don't need to work anymore and can concentrate on saving sentient beings. In addition, my own salary, which was only two hundred yuan at the beginning of the persecution, has now doubled. My husband's income also increased to seventeen hundred yuan.
Now, whenever my husband mentions our prior hardships, he thanks Dafa. He also recites, "Falun Dafa is good," and supports me in saving sentient beings. Sometimes he even helps clarify the truth to others and helps them withdraw from the CCP. Seeing this change in my family, relatives and friends have learned that practicing Dafa may bring good rewards. They also spread the wonderfulness of Dafa. My two daughters, especially, feel that their good rewards are all from Dafa. They both started practicing Falun Gong and now walk on the path of cultivation.
My understanding of the Fa principles is shallow. However, I know that Master's words are all true. Only when we believe in Master and truly practice cultivation will the supernormal Fa demonstrate itself. I have actually wanted to write down my experience for a long time, but due to my laziness, I haven't done it until today. Thanks again for Master's benevolent care. Thanks for fellow practitioners' selfless help.
Heshi! Please kindly point out anything improper.
