(Clearwisdom.net) Looking back at my cultivation journey over the past more than ten years, every step that I took was under Master's compassionate protection and encouragement.
I began practicing Dafa in the later half of 1998. Less than a year after that, the evil persecution started. Having a sense of responsibility to the Fa and sentient beings, I merged myself into the mighty current of Fa-rectification, along with several other practitioners. We went to Tiananmen Square together, to demonstrate the beauty of Falun Dafa to the government. As soon as we stepped onto the square, officers from the 610 Office arrested us. Every time we tried to demonstrate, people from the local government would take us to a police station, detention center, or labor camp. Back then, it felt as if the sky was crashing down. My family was unable to endure the hardship. My mother, nearly 80 years old, couldn't eat and became bedridden under those circumstances. My husband suffered psychological trauma and had difficulty speaking. With one elderly and one disabled family member at home, no one was there to take care of them. My family endured much hardship, and I myself suffered from both physical and mental torture. However, no matter how hard it was, I knew in my heart that Master was there, Dafa was there and Master was next to me. On the way to the labor camp, the camp guards handcuffed me to a seat for five hours. I wasn't able to move a muscle and it became very painful and unbearable. I thought about Master, and I really wanted to loosen my hands a little. Right then, the handcuffs became loose, and I was able to move my hands. I couldn't help but shed tears because I was grateful to Master for enduring this hardship for his disciple. I thanked Master for his mercy.
In detention, I endured inhuman treatment and started a hunger strike to protest. The guards force-fed me through a tube and used intravenous injections. I was determined not to stay in that place. Dafa practitioners are here to validate the Fa, and are not to be tortured in there. Because my thinking met the standard of the Fa, Master helped me. With the help of my family, I walked out of the detention center within a few months. Once I was home, my mother saw the evidence of the torture I experienced and she was afraid that I might be tortured again. She made me stay home all the time and forbade me from contacting fellow practitioners. Because I was not diligent, I slacked off in my practice at home for one year. However, with hints from Master and with practitioners' help, I came back to Fa-rectification cultivation. We strove forward together diligently and did the three things.
In every lecture he gave, Master stressed that Dafa practitioners need to study the Fa well. I persisted in studying the Fa every day, thus building a solid foundation for clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings. In the process, I understood the Fa principles more clearly and realized my mission. Sentient beings have been poisoned by the lies of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). If we do not save them, they will be in danger of being destroyed.
I clarified the truth to people wherever I went. Since the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party was published, and the movement of quitting the Chinese Communist Party began. It was difficult at first. My mother, who was influenced by the CCP, was afraid and didn't want me to talk about it. My heart wavered in the beginning. I calmed down and read Master's lectures again, breaking through human notions. I used righteous thoughts to harmonize with Master's choices. I did the three things well. With a clear understanding, I strengthened my righteous thoughts towards my mother. I told her that this was part of the three things that Master requires his disciples to do and we must follow Master's guidance. Later, mother often talked to people with me about the truth of Dafa and the persecution, as well as about withdrawing from the Party. I clarified the truth to everyone in my family, as well as friends and neighbors, and persuaded them to quit the Party.
Several practitioners and I often went to local markets to do truth-clarification and tell people about the "three withdrawals" (withdrawing from the CCP, the Communist Youth League, and/or the Young Pioneers). Sometimes, I rode a bike to find people to talk to on the street. As long as I went out, some predestined person could be saved. Some of them would thank me because their understanding side knew the beautiful future they would have as a result of being saved. After the fall season, I traveled to another practitioner's place over 3 miles away to clarify the truth together with him.
In the truth-clarification process, I let go of fear and gathered experience. Sometimes, some people who didn't understand said unkind words to me. But I didn't take it to heart, because they were deceived by the CCP's lies. Not being affected by them, I walked my divine path with strong righteous thoughts and actions. Once, I succeeded in persuading over twenty people to quit the Party in one morning. On the way home, I still talked to whomever I met. Then, one person said a few nasty words, and I felt that something was not right. What loophole did I have that allowed the old forces to take advantage of me? It was probably the attachment to zealotry. What is there to be zealous about? I had only saved a few people, which was far from what more diligent practitioners can do, and it was even far from the requirements of Master. There are so many sentient beings in Mainland China who have not been saved and so many practitioners suffering from persecution. I found my loophole and was determined to get rid of it. I definitely would not allow the old forces to interfere. With that strong righteous thought, I continued to clarify the truth to that person. In the end, he agreed to quit the CCP. I think that as long as we have strong righteous thoughts, Master is right next to us.
Before the Chinese New Year, a fellow practitioner and I traveled together door to door to clarify the truth, while selling New Year's merchandise. Because of my negligence and attachment to complacency, the old forces took advantage of us. My fellow practitioner was arrested and my vehicle was taken away. Later, we each looked within and sent forth righteous thoughts together. With Master's protection and reinforcement, that practitioner walked out of the detention center in five days. I was able to get my car back with my family's help and without much problem. We were not interfered with further by the evil, we continued to walk the path to Godhood, and validated the Fa.
Fa-rectification is at the critical point of saving sentient beings. Fellow practitioners are all doing what they are supposed to do to save those who have been deceived by the CCP. I felt that Master required that there should be truth-clarification materials production sites everywhere, but only a few practitioners were working on this. I wanted to take part in making materials, because it is needed during Fa-rectification and for saving people. So I discussed my thoughts with a local coordinator about duplicating VCDs. Later, that coordinator delivered a VCD burner to me, and taught me how to copy and duplicate them.
Because I had little knowledge of the operation of a materials production site, I assumed that my work was done once I had made copies. Later, I learned that those discs needed to be labeled. It was hard for me, because it required a color printer, but I had no place to put it (I realized later that this was actually an excuse). I calmed down to study the Fa and looked within. I realized that I had not let go of my attachment to self and didn't consider the needs of sentient beings; at the critical moment, I only thought about myself. I was selfish and attached to fear. Master has pointed out the seriousness of being attached to fear. If I did not completely let go of fear, I would lose this opportunity of an eternity. Would this mindset block me from assisting Master in Fa-rectification and saving people? Definitely not! As a cultivator, it is very important to do the three things well. Therefore, I changed that old human notion and let go of fear. Master arranged this cultivation path for me; therefore, I must walk it well and do what I should do.
Once, we received the Shen Yun Performing Arts VCD. On the basis of studying the Fa well, fellow practitioners and I duplicated a large number of this VCD. In the process, a fellow practitioner taught me some computer technology, how to get online, download, copy, etc. However, before I took over the task of printing materials, that practitioner was arrested. I hadn't completely learned the skill of making materials. What should I do? I added another difficulty, by thinking about why that practitioner was arrested. Was it somehow related to my cultivation? Nothing was coincidental. I calmed down to study the Fa, improved my moral character, and looked within. I found my attachment of relying on others. I had always relied on fellow practitioners while producing materials. I didn't think much about that attachment back then. But now it required me to do it alone. No matter how hard it is, I knew that we must not stop making materials, which will save people. I took two printers home and didn't delay the production of truth-clarification materials for practitioners. I traveled to the city to visit my granddaughter. But when it was time to make materials, I would go home to do what I should do. My family understood me completely. My daughter-in-law knew not to interfere with my work to save people. My daughter also helped me to clarify the truth and placed saving sentient beings as a priority.
At the beginning of making truth-clarification materials, many things tested my xinxing. Either the machine had a problem, or I didn't know how to use the computer. Sometimes, I thought about retreating. All these issues were reflections of my own xinxing. Master is enduring everything for sentient beings. I was determined to pass those tests. So I improved my xinxing. Nowadays, I can do the tasks of a materials production site with ease.
Watching truth-clarification materials and VCDs being delivered to thousands of homes, I truly felt happy for those being saved and their future prospects. But I also knew that without Master's merciful support at each moment, we would not have been able to do any of this - not to mention doing something so sacred. Everything is arranged by Master. I will cultivate myself well, complete the vow that I made in prehistory to save sentient beings, and thus I will not have any regrets.
