(Clearwisdom.net) Many young people work where I do, and our supervisor is much older than us. He often appears to be lonely because his family is not around. My colleagues take care of him. However, he likes to touch his female subordinates, including me. This behavior disgusted me, but my colleagues said that there was no harm being done, suggesting that he was only treating us like his children. They said that since he was so much older, he wasn't having sexual thoughts about us.
I was confused, but thought that I should conform to the state of everyday people, so I suppressed my feelings and allowed him to touch me. It was very difficult for me at the beginning, but later I found that I started to like it. I looked forward to it and finally I began to take initiative to pat him and be patted back. It seemed to be very natural.
My husband treats me very badly, and always finds fault with me if I have the slightest loophole in my xinxing. I've cultivated myself with great difficulty. I once went astray from my cultivation, and I went through many hardships to be able to return to cultivation. But my attachments were nurtured while I was in the relaxed environment. At the beginning, I didn't notice them, but my attachment to lust grew, and I almost ended up making a big mistake. Afterward, I very much regretted this. I thought I had passed many tests and tribulations in this regard, and that my desire was under control. Master has repeatedly talked about this matter. Why had I failed to do well this time?
I found that I had a wrong notion, that is this show of fondness, "patting," or light touching between a man and a woman was "conforming to everyday society." I also felt that since my supervisor was so much older than me, that there was no problem. On the other hand, I understand from Master's teachings that reserved behavior between a man and a woman is proper for human beings. In modern society, men and women failing to pay attention to the limits of proper interaction is a manifestation of deviated behavior. Secondly, my extra care for him was because I felt sorry for him. But in fact time is tight now, and Dafa disciples should do the three things and save people, which is a much truer manifestation of compassion. Thirdly, my husband had made several mistakes in this respect. He always regretted it, but I had not forgiven him wholeheartedly. Not until I made the same mistake, did I understand how he felt.
From this lesson I came to understand that our path as Dafa disciples is great but also very narrow. To walk the path well, I should take the Fa as teacher, study the Fa well, and use the Fa to guide myself.
If I can't walk well the path Master has arranged for me, I will be letting revered Master down, and letting down the sentient beings whom I am responsible for.