(Clearwisdom.net) I started practicing Falun Gong before the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began persecuting practitioners on July 20, 1999. I previously had been in poor health and had a bad temper. However, my family, neighbors, and colleagues have since commented on how my attitude and behavior greatly improved after I started practicing. I have also become free of illness, and both my work and family life has been great. My husband is very supportive of my practicing.

I have been involved in various projects to let people know the facts about Falun Gong and expose the CCP lies. However, I began to neglect Fa study. As a result, I started to have conflicts with fellow practitioners and I wasn't looking inward. I responded to conflicts from an everyday person’s perspective, and I would be overcome with anger. The more I thought about the conflict, the angrier I became. I could not even concentrate when I studied the Fa. When fellow practitioners tried to exchange cultivation insights and point out my attachments, I immediately made excuses to defend myself. Meanwhile, our Dafa work suffered tremendously because I failed to follow the Fa and cultivate myself well.

At home, I would invariably fight with my husband, and I failed to be tolerant. One time, my husband started beating me when I returned home late one night because I was at a fellow practitioner’s place fixing her computer. He then kicked me out. I had no place to go, so I just sat on the sidewalk and cried. A lot of things went through my mind, but I knew I would never give up my belief in Falun Gong.

Our compassionate Teacher has been hinting to me in many different ways to improve my cultivation. I had a dream one night, where I slid off a giant mountain at a high speed, and was very scared when I woke up. I sat up and calmed myself down, and then asked myself what had happened to me. I once had a good environment because I cultivated myself, but I have now ruined it. How can I call myself a practitioner? How can I possibly say that Dafa is good when I am actually doing wrong? Then I remembered Teacher's words,

“As long as you regard yourself as a practitioner, you will remember it right away and be able to restrain yourself, and you will then be able to pass this test” (Zhuan Falun)

At this point in my cultivation, Teacher published a new Fa lecture, saying,

“As for you, who are Dafa disciples, you shouldn’t focus on the coordinators, but instead, focus completely on yourselves and on how to cooperate well, do things well, and finish what you are supposed to do.” (“Be More Diligent”)

I repeatedly studied Teacher's article before it dawned on me that although I had been doing a lot of things to help people understand Falun Gong, I failed to cultivate myself! Regardless of how much I do, I was handling things with an everyday person's mindset. Tears started to fall down my face. I had been off track for so long, but now my mind has finally become clear.

Although I am unable to respond to every situation perfectly inline with the Fa, I keep in my mind that I am a practitioner. If I find myself losing concentration after studying one page of the Fa, I will study that page again. Now I focus on the quality, and not the quantity, of Fa study.

Whenever I have free time at work, I listen to Minghui Weekly or the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party on my MP3 player. After work and dinner, I study the Fa before I start working on Dafa projects. Then I practice the Falun Gong exercises and send forth righteous thoughts. I have also formed a Fa study group with fellow practitioners. Whenever I get a chance, I tell people the facts about Falun Gong and help them quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations.

I can now manage to control my temper again. When my husband returns home in a bad mood, I am not affected, and my thoughts are of compassion and tolerance towards him. In turn, my husband has stopped being irritable and talks to me in a pleasant manner. It is exactly like Teacher said,

 “... just by having your heart unaffected you will be able to handle all situations.” (“Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s)” from Essentials for Further Advancement II)

My husband has started studying Falun Gong books, and has read Zhuan Falun a few times. Sometimes he urges me to finish the housework quickly so that we can study the Fa together.