(Clearwisdom.net) The path of our cultivation practice is like the path of climbing China's Mount Tai. From the start of our cultivation practice until July 20, 1999 when the persecution of Falun Gong began, venerable Master had pushed us, the one hundred million Dafa students, to very high positions. After the start of the persecution, due to my lack of strong belief in Master and the Fa, I had some heavy mental encumbrances, such as fear. Under the high pressure of the evil forces, against my heart, I gave in and committed shameful sins. I fell into an abyss.
With immeasurable mercy, venerable Master forgave our past wrongdoings, picked up people like me and gave us countless opportunities to undo our past sins. However, in my path of over a decade long cultivation practice, I have found myself to be burdened by all kinds of attachments related to fame, personal gain, and human emotions such as fear, jealousy, showing-off, competing, desire and lust, etc. All these ill thoughts and notions which have been formed inside me since ages and lives ago, have burdened me so much that I can hardly move a step forward in my course of climbing up the steep mountain. On this path, there were a lot of sentient beings that Master arranged for me to save. They were looking at me and waiting for me to save them, but I was so out of breath that what I said did not carry much power, with a lot of them losing their opportunities to be saved.
A few newer Dafa practitioners have easily surpassed me, leaving me far behind. Master said, "Our practice has a focus and truly points out those attachments. By abandoning them, one will make very rapid progress in cultivation." Zhuan Falun
Why have they improved so fast? I now understand that it is because they did not have many human notions. With little burden on them, it has been easy for them to get rid of their attachments.
There were also a few fellow practitioners who, due to their strong affections to male and female relations and a lot of human notions, were weighed down heavily by the their attachments, and they became exhausted. This was taken advantage of by the minions of the old forces, and they lost their human lives and have left behind a lot of regret.
In these days Master's Fa rectification is about to be completed. I am fully aware that all these bad human mentalities have to be relinquished, but during the course of my actual cultivation practice, I have added a lot of filters into this work with my human concepts, with skillful self-protecting social skills that I formed long ago in order to secure my own interests. When things happened in agreement with my human attachments or concepts, I considered them to be great and accepted them; when things happened against my bad human mentalities, I would accept them only partially or run away from the issues. Thus, even though I have been aware that a lot of my attachments are not good, I have not taken action when I needed to relinquish them. Sometimes, I even unknowingly encouraged and protected them, and created an environment for them to grow.
After over a decade on this path, upon looking back on everything that has happened, I realize that what Master tells us are absolute truths. Only after seeing the results of things do I agree and accept that I have human concepts. The burdens on me were heavy in the first place, and I personally added onto my cultivation path a lot of blockages. I have not acted as those fellow practitioners who carry few concepts do. Whatever Master says, they do it, and they just listen to Master. All the things we encounter, small or big, can allow our human minds to be exposed. So what is the reason that we have not gotten rid of the bad mentalities after we found them? The main reason is that the human concepts formed in our minds are acting as protective shields. When our main consciousness is not strong enough, we will just follow the trend, letting it happen the way it is.
For example, as to the attachment of lust and desire, we all consider it to be no good, but it is just like a malignant tumor inside the body. Under the influence of the CCP-driven media in China, this attachment will take effect immediately once one does not watch out carefully. This tumor will constantly swallow the good cells. If it is not removed in time, it can bring about huge problems. There are a lot of other attachments similar to this. This requires us to conduct ourselves as cultivating practitioners at all times, to let go of our attachments with strong minds driven by our main consciousness and unwavering righteous thoughts, to let go of them as long as they are attachments. It also requires us to study the Fa seriously with clear minds daily. This is especially true when an attachment becomes prominent, and we have to make sure to find time to study the Fa more at these times.
There are no shortcuts for removing our bad mentalities. When we cannot step forward, fellow practitioners around you can only support and help. This can only depend on your own determination, when you study the Fa well, to get rid of and let go of every attachment. This is only my current understanding; please point out anything inappropriate.
