(Clearwisdom.net) I am a young practitioner who graduated from college a year ago. Some relatives and friends set up dates for me, but none of them were successful. I was worried that dating and marriage would interfere with my cultivation. An older practitioner recently said to me, “What are you worried about? Can marriage change you? As a practitioner, you can influence and even change your spouse.” I then realized that the avoidance of marriage was also a form of attachment. Why was I trying to avoid it? Because I didn't have enough faith in myself and the Fa. Practitioners can accomplish anything with righteous thoughts. Master said,
“Except for newer students, from July 20 of 1999 on, Master hasn't created any personal cultivation tests for you, and that's because overall your personal cultivation has changed in every respect so that it's in the direction of saving sentient beings and validating Dafa.” ("Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference").
Therefore, people I meet while dating are likely those who are meant to learn about Dafa. Nothing happens randomly. Master wants us to turn interference into opportunities to validate the Fa.
When I said that I didn't want to get married, I actually did not really reach the level of no attachment to marriage. On one hand, I was still attached to qing, but on the other hand, I was worried that people around me would think that I was weird, as most of my friends were married and had children. However, my worries stemmed from thinking from my personal perspective, rather than from the perspective of the Fa.
Master said,
“When the righteous thoughts get stronger and stronger, when you truly have compassion toward sentient beings, then there won't be any more emotion to trouble you, and none of your family members that you have an issue of emotion with will again say that you're heartless towards them, and there won't be any more conflicts because of the issue of emotion. You can talk all you want about it, but it still comes down to you needing to improve.” ("Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference")
Not long ago, a relative introduced me to a young man who was working in a different city. We started communicating by phone. In everyday people's eyes, he could make an ideal husband. But after several phone conversations, I felt as if I didn't know how to handle our dating relationship any longer. What interested him did not interest me at all. Affection in a relationship may bring temporary joy, but the feeling of uncertainty between one another causes more annoyance than happiness, and such emotions don't bring true happiness. Eternal peacefulness in our hearts can only be obtained from Dafa cultivation.
I eventually told him about my cultivation and about the persecution of Falun Dafa, and asked him if he would understand. He replied that it would better not to have any spiritual belief if we were to get married. I then said that we could become friends rather than a couple. Probably my starting point in telling him about my cultivation was to have him accept me, not to save him for his benefit. Therefore, my righteous thoughts weren't strong enough to help him understand all of the truth and quit the Chinese Communist Party and its associated organizations. I can only hope that he will have another chance to learn the truth and be saved.
As for marriage, I realized that I should not have worried too much about avoidance or acceptance. Too much consideration is also an attachment. We need to follow the path arranged by Master. We are not in this world to live an everyday person's life. We conform to everyday society to cultivate and validate the Fa. We should not purposefully avoid or worry about marriage, and we should let go of human attachments, handle problems from the Fa's perspective, follow the course of nature, and do the three things well. Anything that happens in everyday life can be an opportunity to validate the Fa and save sentient beings.
