(Clearwisdom.net) Since the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) started persecuting Falun Gong, I have been repeatedly illegally arrested, detained, and sent to forced labor camps. I was widely known by all practitioners in our region, even among the CCP staff responsible for persecuting Falun Gong and the forced labor camp staff. I am known not because I have cultivated well, but, on the contrary, because I couldn’t completely reject the old forces’ arrangements and persecution.
I asked myself many times, “What is my problem? Which attachment has the evil used as an excuse to persecute me?” But I couldn’t find the answer.
I wrote this article shortly after being released from a detention center. This time, I was determined to find out what had plagued me for so many years. So I calmly studied the Fa and looked inward. Yet I didn't find anything new.
One day, I had a hard time concentrating on Fa study, so I stopped reading and started sending righteous thoughts. I was subsequently able to focus on studying the Fa. Suddenly, Teacher’s article “Further Understanding” from Essentials for Further Advancement came to mind. I had studied this article many times and could even recite it. But why hadn't I remembered it when I ran into trouble? It was because I was blocked by my human notions.
Each time I was released from the CCP’s persecution, I was eager to do Dafa work. My practitioner wife didn’t agree with me, since she saw that I was impatient to do things and to validate myself. But I was unaware of the attachments, so I argued with her. Why? Because I thought that I was doing the most righteous and most wonderful thing in the world. I was validating Dafa and saving sentient beings, and no one should stop me from doing that. Therefore, whenever we disagreed, I used these words to force her to give in to my way of thinking. But when she gave up, it wasn't because we improved and therefore resolved the conflict; rather, we just suppressed the conflict. I didn’t realize that Teacher was using my wife’s comments to expose my demon-nature, to help me eliminate my attachments, and purify my xinxing. I insisted on my own ideas and opinions, and thus strengthened my attachment to validating myself, which created disharmony between my wife and I, and gave the evil an opportunity to persecute me.
The puzzle of why I was repeatedly persecuted was finally solved as I was reading the Fa. It is absolutely not wrong to do things to validate the Fa and save sentient beings. However, we should never forget that it is we Dafa disciples doing those things. When Dafa disciples do Dafa work, we need to eliminate our human attachments, enhance our xinxing, and purify our hearts. Teacher said,
“For a cultivator, all the frustrations he comes across among everyday people are trials, and all the compliments he receives are tests.” (“A Cultivator is Naturally Part of It,” from Essentials for Further Advancement)
We must therefore be clear that whenever we run into a conflict, it is Teacher helping to expose our demon-nature so that we can eliminate it. If we can truly do it, then we will reach the standard of a certain level and attain a pure heart at that level.
Therefore, when we become impatient, have worries, or start arguing while doing Dafa work, we should temporarily stop the Dafa work. After finding the reason, eliminating the attachments, and adjusting our minds, we can resume doing Dafa work. This will allow us to reach a pure heart at our level, and what we do will become the best and the most sacred. If the work can't be delayed, we should cultivate ourselves while doing the work. We should never just do Dafa work without cultivating ourselves.
My understanding is limited to my level. Please point out any gaps.
