(Clearwisdom.net) Valerie Avore is in her sixties, a woman of gentle demeanor, pleasing temperament and cordial speaking manner, who lives in Detroit, Michigan. How did a Western lady get involved with the ancient Eastern cultivation practice Falun Dafa?
Valerie Avore
Mr. Avore, Valerie's husband, was a psychiatrist who specialized in youth crimes. He was responsible for court reporting prior to his retirement. Remembering the state of their lives ten years ago, he sighed and said with a smile, “I was in my fifties then, feeling I was getting old. My three children were around the age of ten and one was just turning 18. Children in this age group are quite different than [they were] during a younger age. It was definitely a challenge to both of us. As I was turning older, this kind of challenge wasn't my cup of tea anymore and [it was] difficult to handle. The whole situation made me nervous and stressed out. I tried different ways to relax, took vitamins, or got involved in anything that could make me feel good. Initially, all were somewhat effective, but after some time the effectiveness wore off.”
How did Valerie Avore find Falun Gong? She said, “We stumbled onto Falun Gong at a health exhibition, where a friend of mine saw a gentleman performing meditation on stage. First, she walked past the stage, and then did a turn-about and walked back, because she felt a strong, peaceful energy emanating from the stage. Immediately she thought of me, as she realized that's this what I was looking for and told me about it. We found a local free Falun Gong class, and went to the park for practice. That was September 2000.
“We practiced with the practitioners in the park. We were not accustomed to getting up early. But, we felt wonderful after finishing the exercises. This was rather unusual and I knew that I had to get involved in it. The following week, I realized that in the Falun Dafa cultivation one has to study the book, Zhuan Falun. We joined the group Fa study and slowly began to understand the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance. The book talks about cultivation, which was kind of a mystery in the beginning. I understood that what the book said was the truth, but I wasn't clear about how to apply these directions in our daily life. I enjoyed reading Zhuan Falun, but for the most part I was only looking at it from a theoretical point of view and didn't look at it as guide for all my actions. After a considerable period of time, I began to focus on studying the Fa myself, and my mind began to understand.”
Since becoming a Dafa practitioner, Valerie's life began to change. She said, “As I have continued to study the Fa, I began to understand more about cultivation. In my understanding, cultivation is to fill ones mind with good elements that are based on Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and avoiding, if at all possible, bad things. One loses interest in things one was previously interested in. One begins to feel that they were not really based on good behavior. When one absorbs good things, one automatically will change. One's thoughts, behavior, the way dealing with people and things around you are changing towards the positive. At this time, one will begin to understand the meaning of Forbearance.”
Valerie continued, “For example, my daughter, who was 16 years old at the time, used to ask for my help whenever she ran into problems. As her mother I felt that I had to help her resolve her problems. I became very angry at those who provoked her anger or hurt her. Overall, my motherly instinct was filled with the strong desire to protect her. But, after becoming a practitioner, I realized that she had to lead her own life along with karmic relationships and [karmic] retribution. What I really needed to do is to teach her how to live by the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and have them guide her daily life, helping her resolve her frictions with others.”
This change in approach took some time for her daughter to understand, as she was accustomed to her mother's constant, and immediate intervention.
“So, the content of our conversation was changed. In the beginning, she was not able to accept what I said, thinking that I didn't love her any more, because I was not protecting her interests in every respect. One day, she was crying her heart out in the kitchen and said, 'You don't love me any more, you no longer help and support me.' I couldn't understand what she was complaining about and I was somewhat puzzled. However I clearly understood that I was in the right. I told her that what I did would strengthen our relationship and that her future would be better."
Ms. Avore explained that after some time, everything turned out exactly as she'd predicted. The relationship between the two became better and stronger, and she could talk freely with me without having to worry about my jumping to a conclusion and taking measures into my hands."
Then, Ms. Avore said, “How did my two other children think about their mother cultivating Falun Dafa? My son was already a grown man and had moved out when I started cultivation. But two years after I became a practitioner, and one time when talking about Falun Gong, he said, 'Mom, you've learned to listen after cultivation.' As for my elder daughter, we've been communicating very well since day one. Lately, I found out that she was trying to learn Falun Gong.”
Her husband's attitude was like a seesaw. Ms. Avore said, “He was very curious about my cultivation early on, then he turned against my practicing it. Now, he is very supportive and even is active in calling for stopping the Chinese Communist Party's persecution of Falun Gong, telling all his friends about Falun Gong, and even recommending the Shen Yun Performing Arts shows. He hasn't started practicing Falun Gong as he's [a practicing] Catholic, but he thinks well of the Falun Dafa principles, learning how to do cultivation, such as looking inward when coming across a problem. It was for him a big improvement, because he always blamed someone else [when problems arose].”
What made her husband change his attitude? She said, “I think, the reason for his change is because of my change from Dafa cultivation. Not only don't I criticize him any more, but I also show greater respect towards him and take better care of him. I don't see his attitude as an obstacle to my cultivation, but as part of cultivation. When I do things with the family I don't do them in a perfunctory manner, but I carry them out from my heart. When I changed, his attitude changed. I think he feels my compassion.
“I like cultivation very much. I used to feel adrift, not knowing how to measure what had happened in life. Now, I have the principles Truthfulness, Compassion, Forbearance guiding me and I know how to measure my intrinsic and external values.”
