(Clearwisdom.net) Whenever I experience conflicts or become aware of my attachments, I visit the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net). I do a search for articles by fellow practitioners that are similar to my current issues. Often, after I read the articles, my mind becomes very clear on that particular issue. This helps me to get rid of my attachments. However, I have never written an experience sharing article myself. I always thought that I did not cultivate well, so I had nothing to say. Also, I felt that the website's articles covered all the issues and were so well written that there was no reason for me to write yet another one.
Recently, I became aware that I was not passing many of my cultivation tests and tribulations. Subconsciously, I tried to avoid the tests that I needed to pass. I avoided opportunities to remove my shortcomings. I also avoided any issues which I felt could easily result in disagreements with others. Actually, this thinking prevented me from clearly explaining the facts about Falun Dafa to others. Whenever a test presented itself to me, whether I passed or not, I later thought about the situation and questioned myself. Why didn't I realize that this was a test that I needed to pass the first time? Most of the time, my enlightened self would give me a righteous thought as a hint. However, sometimes I failed to understand things correctly, and was lead to an analysis of who was right and who was wrong. Soon, I started to understand this was a test for me. After reading sharings written by fellow practitioners with similar experiences, I completely understood. I found that I already knew the Fa on my level, but due to my lack of righteous thoughts, I had allowed myself to fall back into my old attachments and ordinary people ideas.
The Fa-rectifying process is going forward very fast. I realize that if I do not completely remove my attachments during conflicts, that I am wasting time. My enlightened self sent out the right ideas and righteous thoughts, but I did not receive them with a strong will. Recently, after looking inward, I wondered why I was frequently confused about the Fa's principles. There were many times I could understand the situation, but my righteous thoughts were weak and drifted back and forth. I did not cultivate myself during the first test and later I was very regretful. I began to realize that I had an attachment to wanting to be respected, which blocked me from writing an experience sharing article. Master mentioned that Shakyamuni kept improving himself during his time teaching the Dharma:
"He was also constantly improving himself during the forty-nine years of his Dharma teaching. Whenever he upgraded himself to a higher level, he looked back and realized that the Dharma he just taught was all wrong. When he made progress again, he discovered that the Dharma he just taught was wrong again. After he made further progress, he realized again that the Dharma he just taught was wrong."(Zhuan Falun)
So, today I will enlighten to this level's principle and tomorrow I may find it was very low, but that is the way of cultivation. Actually, while writing this essay, some of my human attachments and my CCP party culture of a tendency to exaggerate, were both eliminated. Also, my understanding of the Fa's principles and my righteous thoughts grew stronger and stronger. This is the first time that I have written an experience sharing article. If any of these views were not in line with the Fa, please kindly point them out to me.
