(Clearwisdom.net) I am a Dafa practitioner from Jilin Province, and would like to share some of my cultivation experiences.
After getting out of prison, due to the fact that I didn't handle things well, my mother could not understand my cultivating in Dafa. This bothered me at the time, because she kept following me, not letting me study the Fa or practice the exercises. In order to maintain an atmosphere for cultivating Dafa, I took a tough measure, based on my low level xinxing, to establish an environment for practicing Dafa for my family. Although I no longer received interference for practicing Falun Dafa at home, my family, especially my mother, did not agree that Dafa was good.
Whenever she saw me studying the Fa or doing the Falun Gong exercises, my mother always sighed, ridiculed, or abused me verbally, which upset me. When I shared this with fellow practitioners, they said I should clarify the truth of Falun Dafa to my mother. But every time I talked with her about the practice we parted unhappily, because I was unable to look inward myself, and only wanted to change others. I knew that it was sentimental love between my mother and me causing these troubles, but I could not let go. I didn't know what to do, and felt that cultivation was tough.
During that period of time, I started a small business and moved to live in the store in order to avoid family friction. However, I was fearful of being left alone at family gatherings, and at festivals when relatives chatted and laughed. At those times, I also shut myself up, didn't go home until dinner time, and took off right away after dinner. Family members felt I was strange, and friends avoided me. Even fellow practitioners didn't want to visit me, because my mother not only did not welcome them, but also abused them verbally, and even kicked them out.
When I asked my mother why she did what she did, she said angrily, “While you were there, persecuted, who came to see me to console me? No one did! Now they come because you're back, what for?” I felt bad, knowing that we didn't do well, and had created obstacles in saving sentient beings. I also came to realize the importance of good coordination among fellow practitioners. At that time, we focused on Fa study, Falun Gong exercises, and making truth- clarification materials as Dafa cultivation. We neglected self-cultivation and xinxing cultivation.
One time, when sharing cultivation experiences with a fellow practitioner, she told me about what she saw. Her hometown fellow practitioners did well with overall coordination, especially those with families. Whenever there were problems, large or small, they helped each other, demonstrating Dafa disciples' demeanor, especially in clarifying the truth, and eliminating misunderstandings towards Dafa caused by numerous lies from the CCP.
What she said inspired me a great deal. At that time it was my mother's 66th birthday, an important one in the minds of the people. I took advantage of this opportunity as a starting point for saving people. I told some fellow practitioners about my thoughts and intentions, and they all agreed with what I said. So, I took the initiative to discuss this matter with my mother and siblings. They were all very pleased and in agreement, and they no longer treated me as an outsider, because I had rid myself of my attachment to persistent self-indulgence. Due to the fact that I offered to pay for everything, this had a great impact on my siblings.
On my mother's birthday, relatives, friends, neighbors, and fellow practitioners arrived one after another, and the ceremony was about to start. At this moment, I was a bit flustered. Why? Because I was planning to spread Dafa when saying congratulations to my mother. It was a good opportunity. We were at a mid-sized restaurant in a big hotel, and there were many guests in other restaurants, and the police station was only about 100 meters away. What should I do? Bad thoughts kept roaming back and forth in my head even after reciting Hong Yin. I realized I was on the wrong track. I tried to look inward after I quieted down. I found myself lingering within Dafa, treating the CCP actions against Dafa as a human-to-human persecution, and I was not really based on the foundation of Fa-rectification.
Teacher taught us,
“The old forces don't dare to oppose our clarifying the truth or saving sentient beings. What's key is to not let them take advantage of the gaps in your state of mind when you do things.” ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston," April 27, 2002)
If we really rectify the Fa, not ourselves, the evil wouldn't dare to persecute us. Once again I sent forth strong righteous thoughts, “I am a Dafa disciple, assisting Teacher in Fa-rectification. What I'm doing now is the most righteous thing in the universe. There is not any living being in the universe that is supposed to interfere with me, nor is be allowed to obstruct sentient beings from hearing Dafa's truth and being saved.” While I was sending forth righteous thoughts, I felt that my body was growing bigger and bigger, and filling with inner strength, being completely surrounded by energy.
The birthday ceremony started, and the host presided over each solemn and humorous program. After being introduced to congratulate my mother and say a few words to our guests, I took over the microphone. Looking around the restaurant, though a little nervous, I was still unable to control my excitement. I knew that my every word and action would represent a Dafa disciple's image, and that I must do well. With a calm mind I congratulated my mother for her birthday and thanked the guests for coming. Finally, I loudly said, “I thank my mother for bringing me into this world, enabling me to be fortunately able to cultivate and practice Falun Dafa to become a Dafa disciple. I want to tell you that Falun Dafa is good.” A round of applause burst out in the restaurant—that was really a shocker!
A fellow practitioner then followed, as a distinguished guest, and talked about the truth of Dafa from the podium, and a round of applause roared again. All guests present were focusing on Dafa practitioners with surprised eyes. Throughout the whole process, the Dafa practitioners showed a pure, merciful, and peaceful style. My mother was so happy that she was smiling from ear to ear. After toasting to all the guests, some out of curiosity asked about the situation of Falun Gong, I sincerely answered their respective questions. They all said after hearing the truth, that Falun Gong was really incredible, and that the CCP was finished. Uncle grabbed my hand and said, “Everyone at your table is great.”
All my family members have since changed their attitudes toward Dafa practitioners, and no longer hesitate to talk to me about things regarding cultivation. My mother's change was more obvious—she is no longer indifferent to my fellow practitioners and often asks them to stay for dinner. There is no longer any conflict. From this incident, I realized that in cultivation any conflicts we come across are made possible by our human notions and by not completely listening to Master's teachings. As a Dafa practitioner, I must unconditionally do what Teacher wants.
Through this incident, we have an overall understanding that fellow practitioners' problems are also our problems, and whatever a fellow practitioner doesn't do well, we should work out together to do it well. If we cultivate ourselves well in all environments, if we think of Dafa whenever and in whatever we do, we will truly be successful in validating and safeguarding Dafa.
Thank you revered and compassionate Teacher, thank you fellow practitioners.