(Clearwisdom.net) I recently graduated from high school. My mother introduced me to Falun Dafa in 1998, while we were living with my grandmother, a non-practitioner. My mother and I would practice the exercises in a small park with lots of Dafa disciples. While everyone did the exercises, two young Dafa disciples held a banner.
The sun shone brightly at the site with our practice music reverberating in the air. At that time, I was too young to realize the importance of doing the exercises or the value of such an opportunity.
Although my mother only took me to the exercise site on weekends, that period of time in my life is the most memorable. Although I do not have a very deep memory of the events at that time, whenever I recall it, I feel that it was a very happy time.
Faced with a Family Tribulation, Master Protected Me
In 2006, when I was 13 years old, my father had an affair. He later forced my mother to accept a divorce, claiming it was because she practiced Falun Gong and thus put the family in danger of being persecuted. However, with Master's merciful protection, this family incident did not leave any negative impressions on my mind. In fact, it helped me let go of the attachment to human emotions.
My father only gave me 500 yuan every month for living expenses. My mother and I tried to save every penny we could. Although my father did not live with us, I did not feel the absence of my father's love. I knew that Master cared about me and was guiding me to cultivate diligently.
Let It Be
When I took the high school exam, the sports test counted for 30 points and was considered part of the written examination. I was not very good in sports and only got 15 points, which resulted in my having to attend an average-level high school. On the surface, it looked as if it was the sports test that dragged down my grades, forcing me to go to a sub-par high school. But in fact, I believe that Master arranged it this way to enable me to have more time to study the Fa.
If I had been chosen by a better high school, I would have been required to study more subjects, thus I would have had more homework to do and less time to study the Fa.
In China, average high schools require students to do less homework, thus I had more time to study the Fa and practice the exercises. Meanwhile, Master hinted to me that no matter where I attended school, I had to study hard; all students need to study hard.
I Look Within When I Realize that I am Showing Off
Strengthened by Master, my first grades in high school placed me at the top of my class. I did not realize that it was Master's way of encouraging me, so I felt real good about myself and believed that I was great.
The most terrifying thing about the situation is that I did not recognize that I had this tendency to show off. Just at that time, my school planned to send two students to study overseas and I was one of the students selected. That made my showing off attachment grow even bigger. My mom said that my speech was not correct nor was it modest.
One day, before entering my second year of high school, someone reported me for giving out Dafa materials. On that day, I insisted on handing out truth clarifying materials. Actually, I used that as an excuse to play in the street.
Since my intention was not pure, the old forces arranged to persecute me. After giving out just two copies of Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party I was reported. I was brought to the local police station and stayed there until after 10 p.m.
They also came to my house and took away anything they wanted. Mom had already moved part of our Dafa materials out of sight.
I started to calm myself down and thought about how big my shortcomings must be for the old forces to take advantage of my attachment. I realized that it was my showing off and zealotry that brought about my tribulation. Meanwhile, I was thinking to myself, “Although I have cultivated for so many years, do I truly know why I am cultivating?”
I also asked myself, “What is true cultivation?” and “What is a real Dafa disciple?” among many other questions. By looking within, I found that for many years I had not truly understood the real meaning of cultivation. In effect, what I was doing was fake cultivation!
After I realized this, I started to really cultivate. I will never forget this profound lesson. Whenever I had the attachments of showing off or zealotry, I would think about this lesson and wake myself up.
Believing in Master and the Fa, a Miracle Occurred During My College Exam
From my third year in high school, I had little free time and a whole lot of stress. Every night I needed to study at school and got home past 9 p.m. However I kept on studying the Fa and reciting the Fa every night.
Sometimes I had a lot of thought karma because I dealt with ordinary people and it was hard for me not to get affected. As a result of the thought karma, I only recited a small paragraph of the Fa. Yet, I persisted in forcing myself to recite the Fa.
About one month prior to the college entrance exam, I stopped studying at school. I thought that studying at school was my day-time duty whereas studying the Fa and cultivation should come first. Furthermore, studying the Fa should not affect my school studies.
Therefore, every night I came home early to study the Fa and recite the Fa. If I was not sleepy, I would read my textbooks and do some homework. I kept doing that until midnight, when I started to send righteous thoughts.
During school time, midnight was the only time available for me to sit with both legs crossed and send forth righteous thoughts. Thus, strengthened by Master, I did not feel sleepy during the daytime. Just the opposite, I felt fully energized.
I went on like this until the day I took my college entrance exam. Even the day before my exam, I had none of the usual fears or worries that ordinary people have. Why? Because I knew that I was a Dafa disciple and that I was different from everyday people.
I only walk on the path that Master arranges for me. I believe that Master's arrangements are the best. Thus, without any worries or mental burdens, I passed the college entrance exam.
Dafa disciples always meet with challenges. When the scores were announced, my score was higher than my fellow classmates who normally performed better than I did in school. Except for one classmate, that I did not know, I scored better than all of my other classmates. I thought I was number one.
The following day, I learned that this classmate had scored one point higher than I did; therefore, I was ranked number two in the class.
At that time, I smiled in my mind because I knew that this happened to help me get rid of my attachment to being competitive. Therefore, I resisted the urge to compete and constantly tried to get rid of this attachment. The interesting thing was that we both ended up going to the same college.
Although I had cultivated for such a long time, I knew that what I had achieved was far from the standard of a true Dafa practitioner.
This brought to mind something that Master said in Jinan when he talked about a person who tells you that you are better than others. However, this person is judging things based on the moral standard of everyday people, which is already sliding down and thus very far from the standard of true cultivators.
I wrote this article not only to recall my own personal cultivation experiences, but also to remind young practitioners who may have similar experiences as mine, that they should not practice in an erratic manner, as I did.
If there is anything inappropriate in this article, I trust that my fellow practitioners will compassionately point it out.
