(Clearwisdom.net) I discovered an attachment that was not easy to detect when I began writing this article. It is the attachment to being impulsive. It manifested in not being able to calm down, being fretful, unsettled, and impatient. It was kind of like a nameless and indiscriminate feeling that was burning in my heart. When I tried to explore it further, it seemed kind of like a wasteland, such as the desert, and very haphazard. It lacked compassion, and a cool and refreshing state of being.
Master wrote,
“Many people with supernatural abilities gaze at the Sun, and after doing so for a while find it no longer to be hot. And after gazing again, they find that it is dark. Looking yet again, it is seen to be a cold and refreshing world.” (“The Decline of the Human Race and Emergence of Enlightened Beings” from Zhuan Falun II)
I thought, “I need to raise my level. I need to cultivate a cold and refreshing inner world, that is full of vitality.”
Ever since Master began teaching the Fa, he has repeatedly taught and reminded us to look within. I would like to share some of my experiences with my fellow practitioners.
Because I had been persecuted repeatedly, my mother was very fearful whenever I mentioned Falun Dafa. As soon as I said anything, she got extremely angry. She inevitably said, "I expect that you will turn heaven upside down." We always parted on bad terms.
Afterwards, I tried to figure out why she always said this. What was I doing that was incorrect?
I was reminded of what Master said,
“If he then still doesn’t enlighten to it, I will use other people’s mouths to alert him to it. If he still doesn’t get it, he will hit his head and get a big bump on it. (Teacher laughs) Just joking! Actually, cultivating is to remove attachments.” (“Teaching the Fa at the Conference in New Zealand”)
Oh! I understood. The last time I had been persecuted was because a fellow practitioner who was being persecuted didn't cultivate his speech, and as a result I was arrested. I still carried a grudge and was unwilling to associate with this practitioner. This attachment was hindering me on the path of divinity. When I was willing to resume a normal relationship with this practitioner, my mother's attitude changed. She then accepted a Falun Dafa amulet (1) that I gave her.
The pain of my being persecuted left a scar on my wife's heart that lasted for a long time. Once she flew into a rage and threatened all night long to divorce me when she found out that I had gotten together with other practitioners to share our cultivation experiences. I didn't say a word when she spoke and cursed at me, and just listened quietly to her tearful complaints. At the same time I looked inward and found where I was selfish. I wasn't truly concerned about her wellbeing. I had gone to extremes and was only concerned with my own cultivation. I lacked compassion and only dealt with her in a perfunctory manner. I didn't take the time to talk and share with her. I also figured that I would have to leave eventually, so what was the point of being nostalgic when I left? I had gone to extremes in eliminating qing. I neglected my sense of responsibility. The next day before dawn, she indignantly said, “I'm leaving and not coming back.” I answered her in a gentle but firm tone of voice, “Falun Dafa is the most important thing in my life, and nothing can replace it.” She angrily replied, “I'm going to read this book to see why it is so fascinating to you. I'm not going to work today and will finish reading it.” She gradually obtained the Fa. Sometimes she did the three things better than me.
Once when I was taking a stroll in the park, I heard a young person speak in a sharp, clear voice directed at me, "Look at your narcissism! " I looked where the voice came from. Two young girls were frolicking about, but the girl who spoke looked directly at me. I was taken aback at first. Why did she say that to me in such a loud voice? Afterwards, I analyzed what she said and suddenly got it, “So that's how it is!” From the time I started school until I entered society, from the standpoint of my appearance and disposition, in the eyes of other people, I tended to stand out in a positive way. I often tried to be more gentlemanly than others. Persecution had cast a shadow in my heart and sometimes it manifested in my thoughts. Sometimes I would wonder whether my clothes were fashionable or even decent. This intricate and complicated web of attachments left me weary, feeling unnatural, and lacking in self-confidence. I finally understood. I had fundamentally not let go of my sense of self. I placed too much emphasis on myself, which was leaving me exhausted. I understood and gradually returned to my true self and became a true Dafa disciple.
There was a section in the “Fa Teaching Given at the 2010 New York Fa Conference” that really helped my understanding.
Master said,
“You have likely seen many prophecies to this effect, with some putting the survival rate at one in ten thousand, one in a thousand, or only one in ten households. Whatever the figure, they wanted to destroy sentient beings on a massive scale. The essential goal of Dafa’s vast spreading in the world, however, and saving of sentient beings, is to redeem everything—to save all sentient beings capable of being saved. And that is why we have done as much as we can, trying our best to save more.”
When I am clarifying the truth, I always like to tell people that there will be many calamities in the future. This is basically acknowledging the old forces' arrangements, as they meticulously planned disasters to weed out sentient beings. What Master spoke of, I think, was referring to the final judgement, so we must not recognize any disasters that precede it. We must eliminate all thoughts regarding disasters from our minds.
When different disasters occurred, I had a very bad feeling of self-satisfaction. Hadn't the disasters that I had been telling people about actually happened? “You'd better listen to what I am saying when I tell you in the future!” Actually, this is following the arrangements made by the old forces. The old forces use disasters to warn people, but Dafa is to save the world's people.
I feel a sense of self-reproach regarding the people that have died during natural disasters, such as earthquakes, mud-rock slides, floods, and droughts. I felt so sorry for them, not because of the old forces, but because they had placed infinite hope in Dafa practitioners, yet they were not encompassed by practitioners like me with poor enlightenment quality.
The vast dome of the sky belongs to Falun Dafa practitioners. We can't let the old forces ruin sentient beings. We must save them with our righteous thoughts and righteous actions.
Note:
(1) Amulet - In China, practitioners sometimes clarify the truth by giving people something small to wear or cherish, bearing a few words reminding them of the goodness of Dafa.
