(Clearwisdom.net) I became alarmed about my cultivation state after I repeatedly read Master’s article, “What Does it Mean to ‘Help Master Rectify the Fa’?” Recently, I had several conflicts with fellow practitioners that exposed my strong attachment to protecting myself. When a practitioner pointed out to me that I was not aligned with the Fa on many things, I swore that I would never see that practitioner again in this life or the next, not even after consummation. In fact, whether I saw this practitioner or not didn't affect him. In addition, it wasn't important who was right or wrong, but that my thought was unrighteous.

Another practitioner saw my strong attachment, so he told me the story of Emperor Shun of the Eastern Han Dynasty. Emperor Shun's mother died when he was very young. He had a step-mother who was mean to him and only loved her own son. Several times, she tried to have him assassinated, but Emperor Shun was able to safely escape danger each time. Moreover, he pretended as though nothing had happened when he saw his step-mother and step-brother after each assassination attempt and continued to treat them with kindness.

I felt ashamed of myself after I heard this story. A virtuous emperor was able behave as such, but I still had such strong human attachments and bad behavior, even after having cultivated Dafa for so many years. In order to teach the Fa and save sentient beings, Master has endured slander from the Chinese Communist Party, interference from its spies and even complaints from practitioners when they are not rational. However, nothing has moved Master's heart. Master said,

“I'm saving all beings, and I don't want to see a single being destroy himself, because I came exactly for you!” (“Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York”)

For a long time, I believed that a person was good only if I thought highly of him or her. Then, I was willing to cooperate with that person. Furthermore, I criticized and didn't want to approach people that I had a low opinion of. I was using my own standard to measure if a person was good or bad and didn’t remember that,

“Zhen-Shan-Ren is the Sole Criterion to Discern Good and Bad People” (Zhuan Falun)

The root of this behavior was the ingrained desire to protect myself.

Master said in “Lecture at the First Conference in North America,”

“If you, as a cultivator, only part with things superficially while deep down inside you still stick to something or cling to your own vital interests that you don’t allow to be undermined, I’d say to you that your cultivation is fake! If your own thinking doesn’t change, you cannot advance even one step and are deceiving yourself.”

I realized that all the things I had done in every aspect of my life, including cultivating in Dafa and every thought I had was all for myself. It was to protect my fundamental interests and not let others hurt me. Was this real cultivation?

Master said in “What Does it Mean to ‘Help Master Rectify the Fa’?”:

“The expression ‘help Master rectify the Fa’ isn’t just big, empty talk. Although I have only discussed a few problems, there are in fact a lot of other instances of failing to believe in the Fa.”

Master is rectifying the Fa and saving as many sentient beings as possible. I realized that my heart was not like that. I had only wanted to gain from Dafa. I had pursuits, I held onto my own understandings and I didn’t harmonize what Master wanted. As I am writing this article, I no longer have the thought of trying to get something from Dafa. My only wish is to help Master rectify the Fa and fulfill his wish of saving sentient beings. The standard of the Fa is absolute. I cannot let Master, the sentient beings and myself down. I must do well in the limited time that is left.