(Clearwisdom.net) I have been cultivating for more than ten years and have been studying the Fa all that time. However, I always felt that I wasn't comprehending the Fa after I'd read it. Therefore, I improved little to none in all respects. And I felt like I wasn't much different from everyday people. What was happening here? This made me very upset.
I used to think that I didn't know how to cultivate myself and wondered what real cultivation was. While this was true, it's in the past. Over the past year, I have known how precious the Fa is, how time is running out, and that I need to be more diligent. I have also been striving to eliminate my attachments and human notions. But why was the process so long and painful? I was greatly touched after reading many fellow practitioners' cultivation experiences on the Minghui/Clearwisdom website about how one needs to study the Fa well in order to cultivate well and do the three things well. I read Master's articles intently and truly realized the importance of studying the Fa well.
Later, each time before I studied the Fa, I tried to clean up the evil factors, dark minions, and rotten demons in my dimensional field that could interfere with my studying the Fa. Then I concentrated on studying the Fa. After a while, I found that I was doing better in studying the Fa, and occasionally I would enlighten to new things from the Fa. I felt that I had finally learned how to study the Fa. But gradually I again felt that I was improving too slowly and that my enlightenment from the Fa was really superficial. I kept thinking about this.
Although I made a little improvement, I still did not truly know how to study the Fa. Wondering what the reason was, I kept thinking about it and suddenly found the root of the matter. I realized that when I studied the Fa, my mind was always busy thinking about many interesting things of everyday society. I often recalled some memories over and over, imagined, pondered, edited, and processed them. Those messy thoughts followed me quietly and secretly like ghosts.
No matter when I studied the Fa, did the exercises, or sent forth righteous thoughts, they'd emerge, and oftentimes I didn't even notice. When I found them, I knew that I had to eliminate them to truly learn the Fa by heart. Why did they still appear? I realized that I had not sent out, from the bottom of my heart, strong righteous thoughts to eliminate them all at once. I corrected my thoughts after this realization. Those things weakened gradually, but they were still in existence and interfering with me. It was not until a few days ago, when I was reading a seemingly irrelevant part of the Fa, that I realized the profound principle behind the words. Dafa disciples have experienced thousands of years of glories and hardships just to obtain the Fa today, and everyday people had waited thousands of years to be saved by Dafa disciples. Haven't the attachments, notions, and messy thoughts in Dafa disciples' minds been formed and deposited over those thousands of years? How can they not be stubborn and hard to eliminate? Isn't the purpose of their existence to prevent Dafa disciples from clarifying the facts and saving sentient beings? How can they be willing to be eliminated?
After finding the root of the problem, I suddenly enlightened and knew what to do. I had to send out the powerful righteous thought from deep in my mind to completely disintegrate and eliminate the evil spirits, rotten demons, and evil factors that interfered with my Fa study and prevented me from comprehending the Fa. In just a few days, the thinking and pondering about everyday things in my mind became weak; I felt those thoughts were boring and meaningless.
During the past couple of days, I could obviously feel that I have removed those substances in my mind with only a little scar remaining. In a second thought, I suddenly realized it is not I who eliminated them; it's Master who helped remove them after my xinxing improved. Now I am more steadfast in cultivation and assisting Master in Fa-rectification.