(Clearwisdom.net) I am a young woman Dafa disciple who began cultivating in 2006. I have since walked a bumpy road of cultivation, but my faith in Master and the Fa has never wavered. I thank Master for His compassionate protection!
Obtaining and Cultivating in the Fa
My practitioner mother introduced Dafa to me back in 1999, but because of my poor enlightenment quality and strong attachment to fear, I did not begin cultivating. Not until seven years later did I begin to study the Fa and practice the exercises whenever I had time. I gradually also learned to send righteous thoughts.
When I first started I felt I was quickly enhancing my xinxing. Relationships at work were tense. I searched inside myself, had no grudges against anyone, and treated everyone compassionately. After I truly let go of my attachments and treated everyone around me with compassion, the result was exactly as Master said,
"If you can actually do it, you will indeed find: 'After passing the shady willow trees, there will be bright flowers and another village ahead!'" (Zhuan Falun)
I had previously believed that some people were very hard to be social with, but it turned out that those people had many worthwhile traits for me to learn. The conflicts at work and home eventually vanished, and my body also experienced strong energy flows. Sometimes when I practiced the exercises, I felt clearly some external mechanisms moving by themselves. This wonderful feeling could only happen to a genuine cultivator.
Cultivating Xinxing to Overcome Obstacles
While my career and family were doing well, suddenly, xinxing tests started coming one after another. It was just like Master said,
"Why are there suddenly so many problems? Everything goes wrong. People mistreat him, and his boss also does not favor him. Even the situation at home becomes very tense. Why are there so many problems all of a sudden? This person himself might not get it. Because of his good inborn quality, he has reached a certain level that brings about this situation. Yet how can that be a practitioner’s final criterion for completing cultivation? It is far from the end of cultivation practice! You must continue to upgrade yourself. Because of that little amount of your inborn quality you have reached this state. In order to ascend further, the standard must be raised as well." (Zhuan Falun)
My husband, being the only son in his family, was very self-centered, and my in-laws also treated me coldly. My practitioner parents endured much by taking care of our children and my household chores without any complaints. I also did my best to take on more tasks to avoid conflicts. Between my job and family I was busy all day long. However, my in-laws were still not satisfied with me, and my husband presented himself as an outsider, entirely ignoring what my parents and I had been going through. Because of that I strongly resented him and asked to divorce him. In my heart I knew that divorce was not a big loss for me, but I realized that if I divorced him it would reflect poorly on Dafa, and my behavior would set a bad example, which could stop some people from being saved. In addition, had I divorced him I would have lost the opportunity to overcome the xinxing test.
Searching inside myself, I found many shortcomings. I was overly relying on others, I had resentment toward others, I had the attachment of laziness, I was worried too much about my own feelings and unable to let go of myself, and I was so self-centered that I could not even endure my own family, let alone save sentient beings! People in the current society regard marriage and divorce to be as simple as everyday meals. But I knew I should not follow those degenerate notions by talking about divorce all the time.
I was determined to change myself. I learned to do more household chores, and no matter how exhausted I was after work, I did my best to take care of our children at home and share in more household chores. I studied the Fa and practiced the exercises after my children fell asleep. I slept very little, but because Dafa is extraordinary, when my thoughts and deeds were on the Fa, I did not feel tired at all. I stopped complaining to my husband and became more understanding of him. I began to care about him more and became more tolerant of my in-laws’ weaknesses. After I was truly able to treat them compassionately, my world was broadened. More importantly, after my attitudes toward them changed, their attitudes toward me also changed. Before that, my husband did not understand why I practiced Dafa, and he was also worried about me. But he no longer opposes my faith in Dafa and has even begun to accept Dafa. He has even volunteered to help my mother and me to validate the Fa.
Since I was little, I had been an introverted and pessimistic person. When I was about four or five years old, I often cried because I felt the world was a strange place for me. That notion even interfered with me in doing the three things well after I began cultivating. I lacked confidence in life, and toward Fa-rectification, and I tended to be pessimistic and negative. I also had fear and felt hopeless for sentient beings. Since only the Fa could help me eliminate these attachments, I spent more time on Fa-study and used the Fa to measure my behaviors and thoughts. I knew that I had waited a very long time for the Fa, and that I should treasure it even more. I am the disciple of the Lord of Buddhas, and I am a king of the future universe. I carry on my shoulders the honorable tasks of saving sentient beings, and assisting Master in rectifying the Fa. The gods and Buddhas are envious of me. Constant Fa-study made me determined to find my true self and become an upright Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple. Master also helped me eliminate many of the bad substances, and I was able to gain confidence in cultivation once again.
Doing the Three Things Well
Our Dafa materials-printing site was totally destroyed two years ago, and many practitioners were either sentenced to forced labor or decided to become homeless to avoid illegal arrest. For a while, truth-clarification projects in our local area were completely halted. My mother and I were so concerned that my mother decided to carry on the task as our local coordinator. She contacted practitioners in other areas for materials, and we were thus able to continue distributing materials for six months. By doing so, not only did we add extra burdens for the practitioners in the other areas, but the materials were already about a month old by the time we got them. Due to that, we lagged behind in the Fa-rectification process. We earnestly sent forth a wish to set up a materials-printing site in our home. Seeing our wish to validate the Fa, Master came to our rescue. Another practitioner soon voluntarily taught me how to get truth-clarification materials online. We had a computer at home already, so we bought a printer, a CD and DVD burner, and some other equipment. Just like that, we established our family's materials-printing site. We could get the truth-clarification materials and Master’s lectures in a timely manner. Master told us,
“Validate the Fa with rationality, clarify the truth with wisdom, spread the Fa and save people with mercy—this is establishing the mighty virtue of an Enlightened Being.” (“Rationality” in Essentials for Further Advancement II)
Having the heart to clarify the truth was not enough; I had to study the Fa well so that I would have enough wisdom to carry out the tasks to validate the Fa. At the beginning however, before creating a solid foundation of Fa-study, many of my attachments surfaced. The attachments to showing off, to doing things, and to fear were very strong. In addition, since my Fa study was not sufficient, and I didn't practice the Fa or send righteous thoughts well, I went to extremes. I used online chatting tools and personal phones to clarify the truth, but did not pay attention to my own safety. I was totally ignorant of the fast-approaching danger. A practitioner told me one night that undercover police had probably been following me, and I was shocked. The first reaction was to temporarily halt printing materials at home, and transfer the site to another location, a thought which was not based on the Fa. We sent righteous thoughts more frequently, to completely eliminate all of the elements that interfered with us in the other dimensions. I stopped using online chatting tools and my own phones to clarify the truth, and gradually, my mother and I became more clear-headed. We realized that we were clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings. Before Master and the Fa, the evil forces were nothing. Under Master’s protection we were safe and sound.
After we just passed one test, another followed. When we were about to resume running our materials-printing site at home, my father began to reject it fiercely. He even told me with tears in his old eyes, “If you feel it’s good, just practice at home. I won’t object to you doing that. But why do you have to set up a materials-printing site at home? Isn’t it very dangerous? The consequences will be unimaginable. I must burn all of the materials today. If there are bad returns, just let them fall on me alone.” Having said that, he burned all the materials. His words were like knives cutting my heart; they hurt tremendously.
The next day, my son suddenly had a high fever and vomited every time he ate something. After we took him to the hospital, he cried out so wildly that we had to bring him home. That was interference by evil from a different dimension.
My mother and I asked Master to help us, but to no avail. I believe that there are no coincidences on the path of cultivation, and it must be our low xinxing levels that gave the evil forces an opportunity to persecute us. Thus, I gathered courage and told my father, “I don’t blame you for talking to me like that, because I didn’t do well myself to start with. However, our entire family has benefited from Dafa, and you’ve learned and understood the truth of Dafa. You should not do anything disrespectful to Dafa. You should instead confess to Master and ask Master to forgive you.” At that moment, he also realized that he was wrong and did what I told him to. Immediately after that, my son began to eat and fell asleep. After he woke up the high fever was gone. Seeing that, we all cried.
When we met with minor difficulties we wavered and even had thoughts of giving up. How sorry we felt before Master! I finally took a big step forward, and our family materials-printing site began to function again. Under Master’s protection and with practitioners’ help, we have gradually matured.
The above is an account of my way of walking the cultivation path. Master has done a lot for me. To be a good Fa-rectification era Dafa disciple I need to be diligent, and more rational and mature in doing the three things well.
I want to conclude with Heshi to show my gratitude and respect to Master and all practitioners around the world!
